tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87490579400655709732024-03-13T11:33:23.515-04:00"RECOVERY TABLE" Spiritual Awakening, Alcoholism and Addiction RecoveryThis blog is a forum for discussion about recovery from alcoholism and other addictions, based on the 12-STEPS of Alcoholics Anonymous and the FOUR ABSOLUTES - Honesty, Purity, Unselfishness and Love.Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.comBlogger208125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-63623128276193969982012-11-17T15:40:00.000-05:002012-11-17T15:40:19.140-05:00Beyond the 'Big Book' . . . Beyond the 'Inner Dialogue' . . . Beyond the Confines of the 'Self'<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The 'Big Book' of <i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i> is, of course, our most valuable resource in early recovery, offering, as it does, a complete guide for rapidly taking the newcomer through the Twelve Steps so that he or she may be released from active alcohol addiction. But how effective is it, in and of itself, for working with the <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/04/still-suffering-alcoholic.html" target="_blank">"alcoholic who still suffers"</a> years (and, perhaps, many years) into sobriety as he or she continues to struggle, not with the obsession over alcohol, but with "the bondage of self"?<br />
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Realistically, there are many within the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous (and its sister organizations), and many returning to these rooms sober, whose spiritual experiences have not been so "deep and effective" as to relieve them from the obsessive nature of the mind. There are those, too, who have had illuminating spiritual experiences only to fall from such spiritual heights and who continue to struggle to recapture what they once had. These are the "still suffering" alcoholic addicts with minds that no longer obsess over alcohol but, rather, minds that obsess about the ordinary human trials and tribulations of life - the instinctive drives for security, sex and society - in their many varieties. The 'Big Book' is necessarily silent about such men and women, as it was written so early in the experience of the then-recovering alcoholics.<br />
<br />
Bill Wilson thought that perhaps the <i>Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i> would help those, like himself, "who had begun to run into life's lumps in other areas than alcohol." Indeed, a decade or so into his own sobriety, when he wrote the second book, "he was suffering almost constant depression and was forced to confront the emotional and spiritual demons that remain 'stranded' in the alcoholic psyche." ("<i>Pass It On</i>," pages 352 and 356.)<br />
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"The problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind," we read in the 'Big Book' of <i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>. Thus, for the alcoholic addict who is "still suffering" in sobriety, it is crucial that he or she comes to terms with the self-centered nature of ordinary human consciousness. That is, he or she must transcend the <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2012/09/the-riddle-of-ego-self-and-innermost.html" target="_blank">"egoic self"</a> in order to experience the inner quiet and peace that is inherent to our nature. To do so, however, it is first necessary, that he or she recognize and then learn to let go of the mechanical and learned nature of our 'ordinary' self-centered thinking.<br />
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As spiritual teacher and author, William Holden recently blogged on <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/william-horden/sudden-enlightenment_b_852027.html" target="_blank"><i>The Huffington Post</i></a>:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
". . . (A)wakening to our original enlightened nature involves interrupting
the ordinary flow of linear, language-based, thinking so that we can
rediscover "the mind within the mind". Focusing on external
circumstances or teachings is not what triggers the moment of (spiritual awakening), in other words. Rather, it is focusing on the absence of
internal commentary. Because it is impossible to "think" without
words, this practice of stopping the flow of running commentary on our
lives involves cultivating a mindset of no-thought <i>(wu-nien</i>) in an
attempt to experience each moment <i>as it is</i> without silently talking to ourselves about it."</blockquote>
In the <i>Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i> (at page 98) Bill W. points out that a logically interrelated practice of <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/03/as-alcoholic-addicts-in-recovery-we-are.html" target="_blank">"self-examination, meditation and prayer"</a> will, in effect, allow the practitioner to access the hidden depths of our being, yielding him or her "an unshakeable foundation" for spiritual living. The Twelve Steps are designed to let us practice this spiritual methodology effectively.<br />
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The "maintenance of our spiritual condition" (and with it the ability to move beyond the small and suffering 'self') if practiced over time is the solution to the real problem of the alcoholic addict, the problem centered in his or her mind. It is a solution that all spiritual and religious traditions point to (as outlined in the audio clip, attached below), a solution that moves the alcoholic addict beyond his or her "<a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2012/10/beyond-our-many-selves.html" target="_blank">painful inner dialogue.</a>"<br />
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If the alcoholic addict still suffering in sobriety is to "move beyond the confines of mere rationalism" and overcome the obsessive nature of the mind, and the problems in life which it presents, he or she may be well advised to look beyond the 'Big Book' and more deeply into the many and varied spiritual and religious paths that complement the Twelve Steps. This may require moving even beyond the <i>Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i> and other A.A. literature, and further into the realm of the spirit, being quick to see where religious people may be right and making "use of what they to offer: 'Big Book,' page 87.<br />
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Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-77898587938833398932012-10-05T14:06:00.000-04:002012-10-05T14:08:06.454-04:00Thoughts, Character Defects, and Awakening<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Consider, if you will, the following short, succinct, yet powerful statements taken from different sections of the 'Big Book' of <i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>, reshuffled and juxtaposed in a different order. Together, I believe, they set out the primarily 'mental aspect' of alcoholism, as well as a good description of the 'nature' of the inner spiritual transformation which can effect a recovery from "a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body":<br />
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<span style="color: blue;">"(T)he main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body. . . . Many of us tried to hold onto our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely. . . . The actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be <i>absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge.</i> . . . At certain times (he) has no effective mental defense against the first drink.
Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can
provide such a defense. </span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: blue;"><i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>, pages 23, 58 and 43.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">"(However), once in a while, alcoholics have had what are called vital spiritual experiences. . . . Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them. . . . With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves. . . . Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience. Our more religious members call it 'God-consciousness'. . . . (The alcoholic's) defense must come from a Higher Power." </span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>, pages 27, 567-568 and 43.</span></div>
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In "<i>The Iron Lady</i>", the recent movie which chronicles the life of Margaret Thatcher, the former British Prime Minister cautions her advisers: <span style="font-size: small;">"Watch your thoughts, for they become words.</span><span style="font-size: small;"> Watch your words, for they become actions.</span><span style="font-size: small;"> Watch your actions, for they become habit.</span><span style="font-size: small;"> Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch</span> your character, for it becomes your destiny."<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-g7CcJYR2wqI/UG73wj_KX7I/AAAAAAAACCU/YgnaN45rb3I/s1600/thinker2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-g7CcJYR2wqI/UG73wj_KX7I/AAAAAAAACCU/YgnaN45rb3I/s200/thinker2.png" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: left;">See: <a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/catalog/world/readfile?fk_files=1456118" target="_blank">"As a Man Thinketh"</a>, a book<br />
used to good effect by many early<br />
<div>
A.A. members.</div>
</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I've seen this quote, which is probably anonymous, attributed to every one from Dr. Seuss, to Ralph Waldo Emerson, to Lau Tze. Regardless of its origins, however, it points to a universal truth: <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/09/as-man-thinketh-so-is-he.html" target="_blank">"As a man thinketh, so he is."</a> This spiritual truism that our thought life eventually becomes our character and destiny is particularly apt, it seems to me, for the alcoholic addict in recovery.<br />
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A man who continually thinks angry and volatile thoughts becomes an irritable and angry man. A man who continually thinks about how he is perceived by others becomes either a shy man or a vain man. A man who continually thinks about alcohol becomes, and remains unless his thoughts and character change, a drunken man. Thus, the necessity for a spiritual awakening in which our habitual <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/07/unlearning-old-ideas-and-attitudes.html" target="_blank">"ideas, emotions, and attitudes"</a> are cast to one side.<br />
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Such a change in thoughts, words, actions, habits, and character are absolutely necessary if we are to "trudge the road of Happy Destiny" in recovery. And, the key lies in letting go of our "old ideas," for they shape our 'attitudes' (that is, our 'habitual ways of thinking') and produce the resulting emotions which only serve to reinforce and perpetuate our old thought patterns.<br />
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Just as over time a path is worn into the shortest route across a field by people crossing and re-crossing it, so, too, are paths or grooves worn into our consciousness by the continual movement of our thoughts in certain habitual directions - towards ongoing resentments, towards judgement of others, towards our fears, towards specific episodes of the past that fill us with guilt and remorse, and so on. Habitually, we let our thoughts roll down these mental grooves unchecked, not even noticing what we are thinking until suddenly - or so it seems - we are upset, our pride is wounded, we are filed with spite, envy or anger, <i>etc.</i>, <i>etc.</i>, <i>etc</i>.<br />
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Various religions and wisdom traditions have different names for these 'mental grooves': Buddhism calls them <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2012/04/deep-down-within-us.html" target="_blank">'obscurations'</a>, Islam calls them 'veils' or 'nafs', the Hindu Vedanta calls them <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2010/08/how-to-know-god.html" target="_blank">'skhandas</a>', Christianity <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/06/character-defects-seven-deadly-sins.html" target="_blank">'sins'</a> or even 'demons.' In Alcoholics Anonymous (and its sister organizations) we call them 'defects of character' or 'shortcomings' and we pray (and work) to have them removed. For virtually everyone, alcoholic addict and so-called 'normal people' alike, confronting and overcoming damaging thought patterns (or attitudes) - <i>i.e.</i>, character-building - is a lifetime work which must start with developing an inner awareness of just what it is we are thinking at any moment.<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EHbOJyNd3Og/UG8DFnhYt8I/AAAAAAAACDU/VOME3CqB1yc/s1600/snake.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EHbOJyNd3Og/UG8DFnhYt8I/AAAAAAAACDU/VOME3CqB1yc/s200/snake.png" width="147" /></a></div>
A metaphor that is shared by many traditions is that of a poisonous snake. If you are in a hut and you see a poisonous snake beginning to slither its way through a hole in the wall, you are advised to pick up a hoe and hack off the snake's head <i>before</i> it makes it all the way into your hut where it can harm or kill you. In just the same way, we need to be alert and aware of the first thought or "old idea" that sweeps us down the stream of consciousness, goading us to say things and do things that are harmful to ourselves and those around us. <br />
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When I was new to recovery old-timers would point out, "If you are hit by a train, it isn't the caboose that kills you." So, too, it is not the last drink of a spree, but the first drink that starts it. And, so too, it is not the <i>last</i> thought ("Arggh! I need a drink!") but<i> the first of a series of thoughts</i> - a powerful thought-stream that quite often is at first wholly unrelated to drinking - that sets the ball rolling. (See the story of "Jim" in the 'Big Book' at pages 35-37, and how he felt irritated at the thought he worked at a car dealership he once owned, how he thought he'd just go for a drive in the country, and how, suddenly and unexpectedly he began drinking even though he knew the certain consequences drinking held for him.)<br />
<br />
<i>"The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink.
Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can
provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power."</i> (<i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>, page 43.)<br />
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In order to ready that defense which will inevitably be needed sooner or later, in order to access a Power that is greater than our limited selves, and in order to awaken and remain awake spiritually, it is necessary that we do the 12 Steps and, thereafter, continue to nourish our growth in Spirit by the habitual practice of <span id="goog_130543028"></span><a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2008/07/self-examination-meditation-and-prayer.html">self-examination, meditation and prayer<span id="goog_130543029"></span></a>.<br />
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Self-examination consists of being aware of what we are thinking at any given time, and quickly realizing when we are being swept down the rusting tracks of old thought-patterns by the powerful train of our old ideas and attitudes. It is the recognition that 'the poisonous snake' of our <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/11/on-ego-as-ones-sense-of-self.html" target="_blank">ego-centric, self-centered thinking</a>, as in the metaphor above, is once again slithering through the hole.<br />
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Prayer is the affirmation and invocation of our Higher Power, the God of our own understanding, the Great Reality deep down with us, that allows us to lay aside our thinking. ("Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do thy will.") It is our picking up the hoe and hacking the head off the snake of egoic thinking.<br />
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Meditation is sitting in the quiet awareness of our being and that Power within us which is greater than the small 'self' of ego. It is practicing and nourishing the clarity of a mind that is truly awake, recharging the inner vitality for the efforts of vigilance we will need throughout the day if our innermost 'hut' is to be free of 'snakes' and other dangers.<br />
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In this way, we watch our thoughts so that our words and actions increasingly conform to <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/08/discerning-gods-will-for-us.html">God's will for us</a>, so that our habits of thought forge a new character as our old character defects are removed, so that our lives are changed (inwardly and outwardly) as we "trudge" the road to our destiny.</div>
Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-16535294664610093452012-10-03T15:22:00.000-04:002012-10-03T15:38:35.424-04:00Beyond Our Many 'Selves' . . . <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">"More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn’t deserve it."</span></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: blue;"><i>Alcoholics Anonymous, page 73</i></span><span style="color: blue;"> </span></blockquote>
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In active addiction, the alcoholic addict is forced of necessity to play an outward role that is designed, it is hoped, to cover his or her affliction. Meanwhile, inside all is turmoil, leading him or her on to drink or drug again in order to alleviate the feelings (and the suffering) such inner turmoil creates. Then, in the earliest days of recovery, this difficult and painful acting role continues. <br />
<br />
The alcoholic addict in recovery tries to maintain his or her outward facade without the relief from the racing mind - and the resulting overwhelming emotions - that booze and/or drugs had once provided. Unless he or she <i>does something</i> to be rid of the discomfort and pain created by trying to present one coherent persona to the world while inside a hundred different 'selves' manifest themselves - the angry 'self', the shameful 'self', the remorseful 'self', the indignant 'self', the smug and superior 'self', <i>etc. </i>- there is a distinct probability he or she will return to the chemical 'pain-killers' that seemed to have worked at one point to relieve such psychic pain.<br />
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Of course, this dilemma of being "an actor" is <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2012/09/like-other-people-only-more-so.html" target="_blank">not unique</a> to the alcoholic addict. "Most people," we know, "try to live by self-propulsion" and "(e)ach person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show." ('Big Book', page 60.) Yet alcoholic addicts are, perhaps, 'terminally unique' in that quite often they will turn back once again to using the alcohol and/or drugs that have exacerbated and intensified the sense of duality, emptiness and incompleteness caused by the fractured psyche that virtually everyone suffers from. And, due to the progressive and potentially fatal nature of this vicious cycle, they risk their very lives in an attempt to escape from the intensified feelings that the many 'selves' of their particularly fractured psyches generate.<br />
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"If when you honestly want to, you find that you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little or no control over the amount you take, you may be suffering from an illness," we read, "which only a spiritual experience will conquer." The work that is suggested in A.A. and its sister organizations - <i>i.e.</i>, actually <i>doing</i> and thereafter practicing the 12 Steps - like the work suggested by all of the world's great religions and wisdom traditions, are intended to enable the individual to have just such a "spiritual experience." (Spiritual and/or religious beliefs, faith and knowledge are all well and good, but without the integrating <i>experience</i> resulting from following one of the various spiritual paths that are now so readily available to all, such beliefs, faith and knowledge avail the individual but little.)<br />
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"(The alcoholic's) thirst for alcohol," Carl Jung pointed out, "(is) on a low level the thirst of our being for wholeness, in medieval language: union with God." (See post:"<a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/05/jung-wilson-correspondence.html" target="_blank">Jung-Wilson Correspondence</a>")<br />
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Such "wholeness" requires that we "<a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2012/09/a-spiritual-way-of-life.html" target="_blank">uncover, discover and discard</a>" (to use a favourite turn of phrase employed by a beloved and wizened old-timer) the many false "selves" which separates us from our true being, from our innermost real Self, from "the God of our own (experiential) understanding."<br />
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Consider the following excerpt of an <a href="http://fourthwayteachings.webs.com/multiple-selves" target="_blank">article</a> discussing the fractured nature of the human psyche by spiritual teacher and author, Ted Nottingham.<br />
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"We are not one person. There is no "I am," but many "I's" coming from numerous places within us. There is the "I" who is in command when it is hungry. There is the
"I" who is in a bad mood, there is the "I" that loves to read poetry, and on and on. . . . In (our accustomed state), we just assume that we always act as the same person. Inner knowledge tells us that we are made up of many disconnected, fragmentary facets without unity. When such information is verified, then a presence besides those many "I's" is also present. You can no longer fall entirely for the illusion of unity. . . ." </blockquote>
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"It is no small thing to begin to see who we are. It will impact our whole life. We are not one, but many. <i>The aim is to become one, the true one behind the many "I's"</i>. The mysterious metaphor "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jz7dpV1vg_I&feature=share&list=PL0C37467C2424FFD6" target="_blank">man is legion</a>" refers to the multi-faceted being that we are in our separation from the unifying Source. Part of our inner work, then, is to develop an awareness of the feeling of "I" in the moment. <i>Such an effort will allow us not to be that fragmentary self claiming to be our whole identity.</i> Any change in the sense of "I" will also transform the world around us. . . . "
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"We generally encounter the world as an egotistical bundle of personal reactions and that is the cause of so much of our unnecessary unhappiness. We must develop a feeling of "I" that is different from the one we have now. We all have the experience of constant chatter in our heads. We are always thinking something, responding to something, imagining something. We say "I" to each activity in our mind: "I hate this . . . I am this . . . I want this." But this flood of constant response and talk in our brain is nothing more than life acting on our personality and our personality responding to it. We can form in ourselves, in our own psychology, a little bit of
awareness that can stand back from that torrent of thought and activity and simply see -- without response to it, without judgement or justification." </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
". . . (W)hat we are not conscious of will control us. <i>When we are completely caught up in our ordinary sense of self, there is no chance of change.</i> We are convinced that we are right, we take for granted that this is who we are. We don't create that inner space which allows a new evolution to take place. So long as we take
ourselves as one person, we cannot move from where we are." </blockquote>
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"As you begin to distance yourself from this inner ocean, you will be able to observe parts of yourself that we are calling I's which are not only contradictory but entirely foreign to what you really care about. For instance, you can be a religious person as well as the very opposite. In order to strengthen the part of yourself that wants to be a spiritual person over against the part that couldn't care less, one has to intentionally give power to those I's that will do the work of spiritual evolution and remove power from those that will not. This requires serious personal separation. As things are now, all of these I's claim to be yourself whenever they
appear." </blockquote>
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"When you make that space -- which is the detachment of the mystic -- and you see these armies of light and darkness inside, then you know where the battle must take place. You will also see that the army of darkness is much bigger than the one of light, those I's that wish to love God and the universe and transcend their selfishness. Over against them is this horde of barbarians that are only interested in being comfortable and satisfying their desires." </blockquote>
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". . . (N)othing can change in us if we identify with all our I's. <i>The whole point is to discover that we are not all that inner traffic.</i> This insight gives us independence from the external world. This is a fundamental aspect of spiritual maturity and freedom. If we look at the teachers of humanity, they were independent of the forces around them. They were truly themselves and able to act in the world regardless of surrounding influences. That is one characteristic of higher consciousness."</blockquote>
Can anyone relate to that? Does the alcoholic addict in recovery, at least initially, not suffer, and suffer greatly, from "all that inner traffic?" Bill W. called this ceaseless chatter of our many lesser 'selves' (the raucous vying for attention of what Nottingham identifies as our multiple "I's") a "painful inner dialogue" and "terrifying ghosts." Until we face, face down, and are freed from identification with these many 'selves' true recovery, sanity, and spiritual transformation will be illusive at best. <br />
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Fortunately, there are many paths and practices - including, and in addition to, the 12 Steps - which will lead us experientially through and beyond our many 'selves' to "<a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/06/ego-deflation-and-new-state-of.html" target="_blank">a new state of consciousness and being</a>."<br />
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[Note: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Theodore-J.-Nottingham/e/B000AQ31SC" target="_blank">Ted Nottingham</a> is a prolific author and spiritual teacher who facilitates an ongoing, online course on "The Practice of Spiritual Awakening" at <a href="http://www.innerworkforspiritualawakening.com/">www.innerworkforspiritualawakening.com</a>.]</div>
Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-27294667026426877072012-09-29T09:07:00.000-04:002012-09-30T04:46:01.467-04:00Not Like Other People . . . But More So<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;"> "<i><span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">. . . (T)hinking without awareness</span></i>,"</span> writes spiritual teacher/author, <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/09/eckhart-tolle-on-resentments.html" target="_blank">Eckhart Tolle</a>, <span style="font-size: large;">"<i>is the main dilemma of human existence</i>."</span> <br />
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* * * * * * * * * * * * </div>
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Many years from my last drink, but only one warped train of thought and fatal decision away from my next, Tolle's observation rings true and is, perhaps, the clearest and most concise description of the mechanical nature of the human ego. Why is this important for, and so aptly applicable to, the alcohol addict? The simple answer is because (as we read at page 23 in the 'Big Book' of <i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>)" the main problem of the alcoholic centres in his mind, rather than his body."<br />
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Later in the 'Big Book' we come to understand that we must see through the false illusion that one day we will be able to once again "control and enjoy our drinking." We are also told at this point that we must get rid of the delusion that "we are like other people, or one day will be." ('Big Book', page 30.) A full understanding of the second of these <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/10/three-delusions-and-few-conclusions.html" target="_blank">delusions</a> enables us to more easily practice the 'meat' of the program.<br />
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In one sense this second delusion is right. We have exhibited a progressive addiction to alcohol, and in A.A.'s experience it is fatal and progressive. It does not get better. The old adage that you can't turn a pickle back into a cucumber holds true. We have long experience in our fellowship - too many at the funerals we have attended - that shows alcoholic drinkers do not turn into moderate or social drinkers. In respect to the consumption of alcohol, we are not like other people. They will be fine if they have a couple of drinks, while the odds are steep that if we do so, we will quickly get very sick and, perhaps, die.<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8xRPfo37Jq4/UGbuJH3g_YI/AAAAAAAAB8Q/Zg4vEIxTeVQ/s1600/AloneInaCrowd.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="146" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8xRPfo37Jq4/UGbuJH3g_YI/AAAAAAAAB8Q/Zg4vEIxTeVQ/s200/AloneInaCrowd.png" width="200" /></a>In other matters, however, it seems to me that we are <i>exactly</i> like other people, perhaps only more so. The third delusion the 'Big Book' discusses is in the description of "the actor" on pages 60-62. Here, the 'Big Book' notes that "<i>(m)ost people</i> try to live by self-propulsion, that <i>each person</i> is like an actor that wants to run the whole show. . ." (Emphasis added.) <br />
<br />
And what is the "basic problem" of each such person (alcoholic addict and non-addict alike)? "Is he not really a self-seeker," we read on (page 61), "even when trying to be kind? <i>Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well?" </i>(Emphasis added.)<br />
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Still speaking about most people, in general, the 'Big Book' observes that "(s)elfishness (and) self- centeredness is the root of our troubles." "Driven by a hundred forms of self-delusion, self-seeking and self-pity," it points out, "we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate." <br />
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And what is "self" - what is "ego" - if it is not the "thinking without awareness" Tolle describes, above? What is "ego" or "self" if it not the incessant chatter of the mind, the <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2012/04/escape-from-bondage-of-self.html" target="_blank">"painful inner dialogue"</a> and "terrifying ghosts" of the past that the vast majority of all people suffer from?<br />
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Look at the nightly news, pick up a newspaper, read the history of the modern world, and it becomes readily and quickly apparent that most people, even whole nations, are "driven by" a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity." Whole industries, not least the advertising industry, are founded upon this curious human trait of ego identification. In this respect, alcoholic addicts and non-addicts alike suffer from the same dysfunctional mindset, mode of thinking, and method of interacting with the world. (Psychologically, it seems that each man <i>is</i> an island, despite the famous caution that no man is.)<br />
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"(O)ur troubles, we think, are basically of our own making," we read. "They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so." ('Big Book', page 62.)<br />
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Thus, in one respect - <i>i.e.</i>, with respect to the consumption of alcohol - "we are not like other people," nor will we ever be. In all other respects, however - <i>i.e</i>., in how each of us tries to "manage" life well in order to "wrest satisfaction and happiness" out of it - we are just like other people only, perhaps, more so. Most people are self-centered (that is, ego-centric) and do not know they possess an 'inner center' beyond the limited egoic self. "Alcoholics," we read at page 24 of the <i>Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i>, are "self-centered in the extreme." Other, so-called 'normal' people, it seems to me, are just 'extremely self-centered.'<br />
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Why is it important for us to understand that apart from the alcoholic addiction we are just like other people, only perhaps more so? Principally because it allows us to get over the <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/05/from-self-centered-resentment-to-quiet.html" target="_blank">deep resentments</a> that have crippled us in our relationships to others and, thus, fueled our alcoholism. If we understand that other people are, for the most part, identified with and driven by their own egoic way of thinking - of "thinking without awareness" - then we can more readily realize "that the people who harmed us were perhaps spiritually sick." ('Big Book,' page 66.)<br />
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Realizing that most people are just as driven by their ego-centric mode of interacting with the world as we are, and while not liking "their symptoms and the way these (disturb) us," allows us not to react, but rather respond to them with "tolerance, pity and patience," perhaps, even with love. ('Big Book,' page 67.) Recognizing that virtually all people suffer from the same human dilemma of mistaking their smaller selves or egos for their true identity allows us to more readily forgive others for what they have done to us (and in that process to receive inner forgiveness for what we have done to others.)<br />
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Next time someone "offends" you, makes a mistake in traffic, follows too closely, forgets to signal a turn, or whatever, instead of rushing to judgement, realize that he or she is more likely than not just as caught up in the stream of unconscious self-consciousness as we usually are. And don't get sucked into your own <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/11/ideas-emotions-and-egoic-attitudes.html" target="_blank">inner and egoic dialogue</a> about them. Practicing this non-judgmental identification with the egoic suffering of others is a key to freedom from "the bondage of self," a practice that lies at the heart of "self-forgetting."</div>
Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-28973763311331114552012-09-25T15:48:00.000-04:002012-09-25T15:48:29.658-04:00Perils, Pitfalls & Promise of the "Twelve & Twelve"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/04/rare-video-of-bills-story-and-birth-of.html" target="_blank">A.A. Co-Founder, Bill W.</a></td></tr>
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In a letter dated October 5, 1953, A.A. co-founder and author, Bill W., wrote of the expectations he had for the newly-penned '<i>Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i>'. "At first," he observed, "I was dubious whether anyone would care for it, save oldtimers who had begun to run into life's lumps in areas other than alcohol. But apparently, the book is being used to good effect even upon newcomers." ('Pass It On', at page 356.)<br />
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Of course, many in A.A. nowadays hold fast to the notion that the <i>Twelve and Twelve</i> is ruinous to A.A., and/or that its use, particularly its exclusive use, with newcomers is perilous to their prospects of attaining and maintaining sobriety. To my mind, and in my experience, such A.A. "fundamentalists" or "Big Book Thumpers" are right . . . but only partially right. Along with the perils and pitfalls that the <i>Twelve and Twelve</i> can present to overly-reliant newcomers, the book holds great promise and practical spiritual wisdom for the more seasoned alcoholic addict in recovery when he or she is presented with life's inevitable challenges.<br />
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In words that have quite literally saved the lives of millions of alcoholic addicts, and in a manner that the reader can use to see if he or she is alcoholic, the 'Big Book' ('<i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>') clearly sets out the physical and mental aspects of the disease, a spiritual solution to this primarily mental illness, and a process of steps that can (and are) used to effect a spiritual solution to the malady. I know of few, if any, members with long-term sobriety that would start a newcomer off without going through the 'Big Book.' The methodology for working through the 12 Steps is invaluable, particularly the concise directions for getting through Steps 4 through Step Nine (a.s.a.p.) and, thereby, initiating a process of spiritual awakening that promises to arrest and alleviate the effects of the disease. Likewise, I know few (if any) old-timers who do not, or have not, benefited from what is laid out in the <i>Twelve and Twelve</i>.<br />
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My experiences with the 'Big Book' and the '<i>Twelve and Twelve</i>' over several decades have been decidedly mixed, as I suspect the experience of many others probably have been.<br />
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In my case, by happenstance and misleading advertising, the first group I joined was a <i>Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i> group. (It was announced that February was "membership month" and that the group still had several "openings" which were available. Knowing <i>nothing</i> of A.A. - or recovery, for that matter - and being but a few weeks sober, I thought I had better grab one of those openings before I was shut out.) I stayed with that group, maintaining my sobriety without relapse, for over five years, until I left to help start up another group and, shortly thereafter, to move to another city. In that time, week after week, we would go through the Steps, one after another in relentless fashion. I remember nothing of what I shared, and now shudderingly marvel that there was anything of value I <i>could</i> have shared!<br />
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I learned but little about the true nature of my disease, but much about how to stay sober in that time. Additionally, I read the 'Big Book' cover to cover, as suggested, but little sank in, due not to the message in the book but to the prejudice and contempt I had for all things spiritual or, somehow, 'Godly.' (Not that I wouldn't participate in the Serenity Prayer, Lord's Prayer etc., and not that I didn't read my daily meditations from the '<i>Twenty Four Hours a Day' book, or 'Daily Reflections'</i> when it came out. I would grudgingly do the little I was told to do, but only that much!)<br />
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During that time I was, however, taken through the Steps both by my sponsor and then by a relative "oldtimer" within my group utilizing the 'Big Book.' I listed my resentments and fears, inventoried my sex conduct, made the list, made amends etc., and it was beneficial - to me, my family, and my employer, etc. - yet I failed to grasp the key understanding that my life <i>in sobriety</i> had become and continued to be "unmanageable." (See page 61.) Thus, I was handicapped from the start in my ability to "enlarge" my spiritual being.<br />
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Sobering up at age 28 in the late-Eighties, I was one of the younger members of A.A. in my area. I therefore took much false solace in the <i>Twelve and Twelve</i>'s description of the younger "alcoholics who still had their health, their families, (and) their jobs," <i>etc</i>. I was mightily relieved to read that I had been "spared that last ten or fifteen years of literal hell (other A.A.s) had gone through." (Little did I know, or suspect, that years of "figurative hell" were to come.) Reading through the rest of that paragraph in the <i>Twelve and Twelve</i>'s first chapter, I utterly failed to grasp the meaning or importance of the following question:<br />
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"Since Step One requires an admission that our lives have become unmanageable, how could such people as these take this Step?</blockquote>
That is a great question, indeed. For my part, and to myself alone, I saw Step One as: "Admitting that I was powerless over alcohol (and other drugs) and that my life had (potentially) become <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/04/problems-of-fancied-self-sufficency.html" target="_blank">unmanageable</a> (if I ever drank or drugged again)." Keeping all the parts in brackets to myself, I marched on in sobriety, determined to get "Good Orderly Direction" in my life. For the next five years, I relied on my <i>Twelve and Twelve</i> meeting, my sponsor, and thereafter on the fellowship of AA to stay sober. (This worked for me to the limited extent that I stayed straight, but I adamantly warn off others who would try it this way. I've seen too many fatalities via this route.)<br />
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Just shy of 10 years sobriety, having completed a university education and graduate school, with a wife now sober, and with two small girls - one of them named for my first sponsor - I started a job as a newly-minted professional in a new city. The days and weeks were very long, life seemed manageable, and I made a conscious decision to stop attending A.A. in order to spend what little time was left over with my wife and kids.<br />
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Little did I know that the five years after that fateful decision would be an at-first slow descent into madness, a madness in which I finally lost marriage, family, career, house and my mind. <i>Just as the oldtimers had warned me, all those things that I had put in front of my sobriety I had lost. </i>Beaten by life and this disease, obsessing over escape from a painful and seemingly hopeless life via the bottle, I was brought back to A.A. and to a wise and loving sponsor who took me back through the Steps. The 'Big Book' was read and explained to me. Re-doing the Steps with a new understanding, I experienced the spiritual release that is available through our program of action. My mind was opened, and with the help of several spiritual mentors, day-by-day I began - with several epiphanies along the way - to grow spiritually.<br />
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Interestingly, not only had the import and significance of the 'Big Book' - its application to my life and circumstances - soared, but the <i>Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i> had also become inextricably important to my growth in spirit and consciousness. With fifteen years clean and sober - most of it being "stark, raving sobriety" - I had become one of those whom Bill so mildly puts it "had begun to run into life's lumps in areas other than alcohol."<br />
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There are, indeed, perils and pitfalls along the way if one ignores the 'Big Book' in favour, grudgingly, of the <i>Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i>, as I did. Some seem to avoid the mistakes that are so often made. I did not. But having survived these perils and pitfalls, I know that the <i>Twelve and Twelve</i>, holds much promise for further growth, written as it is for those who have already completed the 12 Steps as outlined in the 'Big Book' of <i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>.<br />
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My closest spiritual mentor, a profoundly dedicated man with 35 years of sobriety at the time, often stressed that having taken the Steps and having recovered from the hopeless state of alcoholism - wet or dry - it is imperative that one incorporates Step Three, Step Seven and Step Eleven into one's daily life; relying on Step Ten where we screw up, and utilizing Step Twelve in carrying the message where we can. It is here, and in this process, that the experience of Bill's years of sobriety, as set out in the <i>Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,</i> becomes so important. Indeed, I find it is needlessly hard, if not impossible, to <i>practice</i> these Steps without the various spiritual nuggets of wisdom he shares there.<br />
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Consider, as examples, the following passages from the essays on Steps Three, Seven and Eleven:<br />
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<li><i>"Our whole problem had been the misuse of willpower. We had tried to bombard our problems with it instead of attempting to bring it into agreement with God's intention for us.</i> To make this increasingly possible is the purpose of A.A.'s Twelve Steps, and Step Three opens the door."<br /><br />"Once we have come into agreement with these ideas, it is really easy<u> to begin the practice of Step Three</u>. In all times of emotional disturbance or indecision, we can pause, ask for quiet, and in the stillness simply say: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Thy will, not mine, be done."" (Step Three, pp. 40-41. Emphasis added.)</li>
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<li>"For us, the process of gaining a new perspective was unbelievably painful. . . . It was only at the end of a long road, marked by successive defeats and humiliations, and the final crushing of our self-sufficiency, that we began to feel humility as something more than a condition of grovelling despair. . . . The admission of powerlessness over alcohol . . . is but the barest beginning. To get completely away from our aversion to the idea of being humble, to gain a vision of <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/01/step-one-honesty-and-humility.html" target="_blank">humility as the avenue to true freedom</a> of the human spirit, to be willing to work for humility as some thing to be desired for itself, takes most of us a long, long time." <br /><br />"We saw that we needn't always be bludgeoned and beaten into humility. It could come quite as much from our voluntary reaching for it as it could from unremitting suffering. A great turning point in our lives came when we sought for humility as something we really wanted, rather than as something we <i>must</i> have. It marked the time when we could see the full implication of Step Seven: "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."" (Step Seven, pp. 72-73, 75.)</li>
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<li>"There is a direct linkage among self-examination, meditation and prayer. Taken separately, these practices bring much relief and benefit. But when they are logically related and interwoven, the result is an unshakeable foundation for life. Now and then we may be granted a glimpse of that ultimate reality which is God's Kingdom." (Step Eleven, p. 98.)</li>
</ul>
As it says in '<i>Pass It On'</i> (at page 352):<br />
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"If (the) '<i>Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions'</i> is a small volume in terms of length, it is large in its depth and content. Whereas the Big Book, written in 1938, radiates Bill's joy and gratitude at having finally found a way to stay sober, the '<i>Twelve and Twelve</i>' reflects an entirely different mood. In 1951 and 1952, when Bill wrote the second book, he was suffering almost constant depression and was forced to confront the emotional and spiritual demons that remain "stranded" in the alcoholic psyche when the high tide of active alcoholism recedes. The '<i>Twelve and Twelve</i>' provides a highly practical and profoundly spiritual prescription to exercise those demons."</blockquote>
</blockquote>
Thus, in my experience there are indeed grave perils and deep pitfalls that can be (as they were for me) life-threatening if one overly (or solely) relies on the <i>Twelve and Twelve</i> without reference and reliance on the 'Big Book' of <i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>. That being said, there is great promise to alleviate the residual suffering of "the alcoholic psyche" after, but not before, "the high tide of active alcoholism recedes." <br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0zilfsVOznc/UGIG0Wei8HI/AAAAAAAAB7U/IT5qN-Bo6O4/s1600/spiritualPath.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0zilfsVOznc/UGIG0Wei8HI/AAAAAAAAB7U/IT5qN-Bo6O4/s200/spiritualPath.png" width="133" /></a>The spiritual path that is so meticulously laid out and explained in the two volumes, if walked day-by-day, promises us a new perspective on life and what it means to be sober, indeed it offers us "a gift that amounts to <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/10/new-state-of-consciousness-and-being.html" target="_blank">a new state of consciousness and being</a>." (<i>Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i>, page 107.)<br />
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It is exceedingly difficult and painful, in my experience, to sober up and remain sober without a firm foundation in the 'Big Book.' It is equally difficult and even more painful, I have found, to remain mentally and emotionally sober without a firm foundation in the <i>Twelve and Twelve</i>.</div>
Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-91692962119438857712012-09-23T14:58:00.000-04:002012-09-23T15:05:58.102-04:00The Riddle of Ego, Self, and Innermost Self<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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To borrow the oft-quoted line from Winston Churchill, the 'secret' of Alcoholics Anonymous (and its sister organizations) is "a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma." Those who have solved this "riddle" often smile mysteriously and enigmatically - like the slight and knowing smile of the Sphinx - when trying to explain it. The "riddle" goes something like this: "You have to find a Power greater than yourself, but you have to find this Power deep down within yourself."<br />
<br />
<i>What???</i> If you are like I was, perhaps it is at this stage that you shut down and start asking others what God is, what they use as their Higher Power, or just what the heck 'It' is that we are supposed to rely on.<br />
<br />
The answer to this seemingly inevitable question given to me by my first sponsor was "Good Orderly Direction." Others have been told, "Group of Drunks," or a variety of other responses. In my case, this answer combined with my close-mindedness and fierce "will to win" led me on a nearly <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/06/perils-of-white-knuckling-sobriety.html" target="_blank">15-year wild goose chase</a> to "wrest happiness and success out of this world" by <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2012/05/life-is-inherently-unmanageable.html" target="_blank">managing life well</a>, that is by getting me some of that 'Good Orderly Direction' in my thinking. (See, page 61 of <i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>.)<br />
<br />
However, there is, I believe, a very straightforward 'key' to solving this "riddle" and discovering just what the 'secret' (so to speak) of A.A. is - <i>i.e.</i>, exactly <i>where</i> and <i>how</i> to access "a Power" greater than oneself that will solve the alcohol problem and render the alcoholic addict "happily and usefully whole." That 'key' is (or was in my case) understanding <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/05/ego-fear-and-smaller-self.html" target="_blank">the relationship</a> between (i) one's "ego" (ii) one's "self" and (iii) one's "innermost self".<br />
<a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/11/on-ego-as-ones-sense-of-self.html" target="_blank"><br /></a>
<a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/11/on-ego-as-ones-sense-of-self.html" target="_blank">"Ego" is variously defined</a> in metaphysics as "a conscious thinking subject," in psychology as "the part of the mind that reacts to reality and has a sense of individuality," and in popular usage as "a sense of self esteem" or pride: (<i>Oxford English Dictionary</i>). "Self" - in its turn - is defined as "a person's or things own individuality or essence" and "a person or thing as the object of introspection or reflective action." One's "innermost self" is undefined (although "one's better self" - defined as "one's nobler instincts" - comes close.)<br />
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The 'key' to the 'riddle' lies in these definitions and, most importantly, in understanding that <i>ego does NOT mean pride</i> in A.A. literature. Almost invariably, "ego" is used interchangeably with "self". ("Our actor," we read on page 61 of the 'Big Book', "is self centered -- ego-centric, as people like to call it today.") A working definition of both "ego" and "self" for our purposes, therefore, may be something like: "the thinking part of the mind that reacts to reality and has, or gives us, a sense of our own identity and individuality." <br />
<br />
It is this constant inner stream or commentary of thoughts, images and ideas - "the thinking part of the mind that reacts to reality" - together with their bodies, that the vast majority of people (alcoholic addict and non-addict alike) take themselves to be. It is '<i>who</i>' they '<i>are</i> '- or so it seems to them. (Interestingly, Bill W. in the <i>Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i> variously calls this constant inner stream of ego/self a "painful inner dialogue" and "terrifying ghosts.") <br />
<br />
If one can understand that the ego/self is <i>not</i> who we are, but that "ego" or "self" is but a fraction of our mind - an attitude or way of relating to the world that is learned - and that underneath that small but loud and unceasing fraction lies "an innermost self" that is the "essence" of who we are, then he or she can productively begin to work the 12 Steps, the first of which is: "to fully concede to (his or her) innermost self that (he or she is) alcoholic" or an addict. (Admitting to one's "innermost self" that one's life has become, is, and will continue to be <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2012/05/life-is-inherently-unmanageable.html" target="_blank">"unmanageable"</a> comes next.)<br />
<br />
Consider these points from the 'Big Book' of <i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>:<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>"The problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than his body." (Page 23)</li>
<li>"We alcoholics . . . have lost the ability to control our drinking." (Page 30)</li>
<li>"Whether such a person can quit upon a non-spiritual basis depends upon the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not." (Page 34)</li>
<li>"(T)he actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception. will be<i> absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge</i>." (Page 39)</li>
<li> "The alcoholic at certain times has no effective defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power." (Page 42)</li>
<li>"If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago. But we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter how hard we tried." (Pages 44-45)</li>
<li>"Our human resources, as marshalled by the will . . . failed utterly." (Page 45)</li>
<li>"Lack of power . . . was our dilemma." (Page 45)</li>
<li>"We had to find a power by which we could live (free of alcohol, drugs,<i> etc</i>.), and it had to be a <i>Power greater than ourselves</i>." (Page 45)</li>
<li>"(W)here and how were we to find this Power?" (Page 45)</li>
<li>"(The) main object (of the 'Big Book') is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem." (Page 45)</li>
<li>"We found the Great Reality deep down within us." (Page 55) </li>
<li>"(L)iquor is but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions." (Page 64) </li>
</ul>
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So the alcoholic addict learns that the loss of control over liquor, drugs, <i>etc</i>., is <i>not</i> the problem but is symptomatic of a deeper problem that centers in her mind, and that she needs to find a Power that is greater than her 'self'. <i>Self-knowledge will not cut it.</i> How and where, then, is she to find such a Power that will relieve her symptoms, particularly if she doesn't believe in a quasi-mythic Old Testament God 'out there' somewhere? That, we learn, is the "main object" of the process.<br />
<br />
"<i>How</i>" to find such a Power is quite clear: Do the 12 Steps! But the "how" of doing the Steps if you do not believe in a "God" or "Divinity" which most cultures teach is 'out there' is exceedingly difficult, indeed. Fortunately, the "<i>where</i>" of finding a Higher Power is set out on Page 55 of the 'Big Book'. Here we find a concise rebuttal to the cultural norm that God, Yahweh, Ishwara, Allah, Buddha-mind, the Divine, one's Depth, the Ground of Being - <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/08/great-paradox-lack-of-power-ego-and.html" target="_blank">whatever one chooses to call It</a> - is exterior to us.<br />
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Although it is often obscured by "the calamity, pomp, and worship of other things" characteristic of the "self" or "ego" (<i>i.e.</i>, "the thinking part of the mind that reacts to reality and has, or gives us, a sense of our own identity and individuality"), we find that there exists within us "an Innermost Self" that is the "Essence" of our "Being." It is this "Inner Self" that all the world's great religious and wisdom traditions seek to activate and develop. <br />
<br />
Page 55 sets out, in clear and precise language, that:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: blue;">"We (find) that Great Reality," <i>i.e.</i>, our 'Inner Self' or 'Essence', "deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that He (or She, or It) may be found."</span></blockquote>
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In a letter to Bill W., the great psychologist, Dr. Carl Jung, pointed out that: "(The alcoholic's) thirst for alcohol (is) the equivalent, on a low level, of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness, expressed in medieval language: union with God."<br />
<br />
Although he was much concerned that he would be misunderstood when using such culturally freighted words and concepts, he nonetheless elaborated further on such an "experience" - that is, the psychological and spiritual "union with God" at the heart of all the world's great wisdom traditions.<br />
<br />
"The only right and legitimate way to such an experience," Jung notes, "is, that it happens to you in reality and it can only happen to you when you walk on a path which leads you to higher understanding." That is, one must follow a spiritual path without aid of drugs or booze, a path or methodology (like the 12 Steps) that leads you to a "higher understanding" and "experience" of one's mind beyond the ordinary, ego-centric perspective and narrative of "self."<br />
<br />
"You might be led to that goal," - <i>i.e.</i>, to a "spiritual awakening" of one's 'Inner Self' or 'Essence' - Jung points out, "by an act of grace or through a personal and honest contact with friends, or through a higher education of the mind beyond the confines or mere rationalism." Fortunately for the alcoholic addict, "the path" laid out in the 12 Steps, the work we do, and the fellowship we find in A.A. (or any of its sister organizations) offers all three.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--SCULkP9IBE/UF9P-waLn9I/AAAAAAAAB50/ZvlqHLqekbo/s1600/thinker2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--SCULkP9IBE/UF9P-waLn9I/AAAAAAAAB50/ZvlqHLqekbo/s200/thinker2.png" width="150" /></a>But the key to realizing grace, receiving meaningful friendship, and transcending the mind to a level "beyond the confines of mere rationalism" is in solving the "riddle" presented by the "ego" or "self" in which we are seemingly confined. In finding our 'Innermost Self', in experiencing our 'Essence' in consciousness, we access the "mysteries" at the heart of the world's great religions and esoteric traditions. In working our way through the seeming "paradox" of finding a "Power" that is at once greater than one's "self" but which is ultimately found "deep down within" one's 'Innermost Self', we begin to solve our alcohol problem and we open up to the potential and experience of what Bill W. calls <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/10/higher-consciousness-and-new-state-of.html" target="_blank">"a new state of consciousness and being."</a><br />
<br />
Our collective experience is that: "With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped into an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves. Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience. Our more religious members call it "God-consciousness."" (<i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>, Appendix II, pages 567-568.)<br />
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As Jung succinctly points out in his <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/05/jung-wilson-correspondence.html" target="_blank">letter to Bill W.</a>, "(A)lcohol in Latin is '<i>spiritus</i>' and you use the same word for the highest religious experience as well as the most depraving poison. The helpful formula therefore is: "<i>spiritus contra spiritum.</i>"</div>
Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-41831098791169454142012-09-16T14:24:00.000-04:002012-09-16T14:24:36.880-04:00Needing To Know & Needing To Be Right<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">"Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was <i>nil</i> until we let go absolutely."</span></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: blue;"><i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>, "How It Works," p. 58. </span></blockquote>
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I've often heard it said that two of the hardest things to do in life are: (a) to admit we were wrong, and (b) to admit we do not know. Doing either, it seems at first, threatens our instinctive drives for security, sex and society. If we don't know, or if (gasp!) we're wrong, what will become of us?<br /><br />
The first of these challenges, admitting that we were wrong, is explicitly dealt with in Step Ten. When we are wrong, we "promptly admit it." In time, and with practice, admitting we've made a mistake and/or acted wrongly becomes much easier. It is a valuable discipline which leads directly to ego-deflation and self-abnegation (<i>i.e.</i>, the "forgetting" of "self").<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1uYHMQisbsU/UFYNsYxDObI/AAAAAAAAB1c/w33Yu_sPs7E/s1600/dyer.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1uYHMQisbsU/UFYNsYxDObI/AAAAAAAAB1c/w33Yu_sPs7E/s1600/dyer.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.drwaynedyer.com/" target="_blank">Dr. Wayne Dyer</a></td></tr>
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<a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/04/surrender-part-ii-letting-go-letting.html" target="_blank">'Letting Go and Letting God'</a>, as spiritual teacher, <a href="http://www.healyourlife.com/blogs/wayne-dyer-blog/letting-go" target="_blank">Dr. Wayne Dyer</a>, observes, "involves relinquishing ego’s attachment to, or fear of,
something. The single most pronounced attachment for most of us during
the morning of our lives," he points out, "is the attachment to being right!" <br />
<br />
"There’s
nothing (the) ego loves more than to be right," Dyer notes, "which makes it an important and
satisfying attachment to practice letting go of."<br />
<br />
The second proposition - admitting that "we do not know" - is not as explicitly addressed in the Twelve Steps, however. But it is an integral part of the Step One admission that <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2012/05/life-is-inherently-unmanageable.html" target="_blank">our lives were, are and will remain unmanageable</a>. After all, if we rather than God were omniscient, omnipotent and all-knowing our lives would <i>not</i> be unmanageable, and we would be just fine, thank you. But that is decidedly <i>not</i> how it is.<br />
<br />
In his many talks, A.A. pioneer, and author, <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2012/09/a-spiritual-way-of-life.html" target="_blank">Chuck C.</a> ("<i>A New Pair of Glasses</i>"), would point out that he was brought up to believe he must "out-think, out-smart and out-perform" all comers in order to get what is needed out of life. He, like all of us, had fallen victim to the <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/10/three-delusions-and-few-conclusions.html" target="_blank">"delusion"</a> that all would be well and we could "wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if (we) only manage well." ('Big Book,' page 61.) It is this delusion, our pride, and the fear of the unknown that grips us when we encounter the unfamiliar that makes it so difficult to admit, even to ourselves, that we are not all-knowing. <br />
<br />
If we admit that "we do not know" what to do in a situation, "we do not know" the answer to a question, or, perhaps, "we do not know" some key information we think we really should know, how does that make us feel? How does it affect how others will think of us? Are we not somehow diminished in our own eyes and the eyes of others? Isn't such an admission shattering to one's self-confidence? Do we not <i>need</i> to know in order to manage life?<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CfWlhCMmmBE/UFYOSaqUtVI/AAAAAAAAB1k/nI9hTDhg2Iw/s1600/cohen.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="161" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CfWlhCMmmBE/UFYOSaqUtVI/AAAAAAAAB1k/nI9hTDhg2Iw/s200/cohen.png" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.andrewcohen.org/">Andrew Cohen</a>, Editor-in-chief,<br />
<a href="http://www.enlightennext.org/">EnlightenNext</a> magazine.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Paradoxically, as ever, and as counter-intuitive as it seems at first, the admission that "we do not know" is a sign of inner strength and an honest admission of our powerlessness. No one person is omniscient and knows everything he or she might wish, and this despite what he or she wishes to convey to the world. After all, as spiritual teacher, <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/05/self-esteem-and-realizing-objectivity.html" target="_blank">Andrew Cohen</a>, points out, the reality is that "beyond a certain point we do not know, we cannot know, and we do not <i>need</i> to know."<br />
<br />
Our readiness and ability to let go of this "need to know" is, thus, like our ability to admit it when we are wrong, a good indicator of our spiritual growth. The ego has a fierce desire to know everything and be right <i>all of the time</i>. In facing, accepting and admitting to others the truths that "we do not know" and/or that "we were wrong" we take giant strides towards curbing our self-righteousness and moving beyond <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/11/on-ego-as-ones-sense-of-self.html" target="_blank">the "small self" of the ego</a> towards the "Authentic Self" which is the core and essence of our Being.</div>
Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-61531291783585299462012-09-15T14:06:00.000-04:002012-09-15T14:06:52.694-04:00A Spiritual Way of Life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
In the attached video, A.A. pioneer, Chuck C. (author of "<i>A New Pair of Glasses</i>") shares his insights into living "A Spiritual Way of Life" with a non-alcoholic audience of students at the University of California.<br />
<br />
"I don't think we have a life of our own, and I don't think we have a mind of our own," he tells his audience. "I think there is one life with many faces, (and) one mind common to all men. And you and I have our identity in It. We have our identity in life. <br /><br />"We are," he says, "individualized centers of <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/10/higher-consciousness-and-new-state-of.html" target="_blank">God-consciousness</a>."<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/kSWd1bEoXMI" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
"You cannot change the reality of your own being," he notes, "you can only change your experience in reality. . . . We <i>can</i> change our experience, but we <i>can't</i> change the reality of our own being."<br />
<br />
"(O)ur own peace of mind, serenity and purpose," he observes, "cannot depend upon any person, place, circumstance or condition outside ourselves. (This) depends only on our own relationship to our very own God."<br />
<br />
"And," he points out, "its <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2012/04/deep-down-within-us.html" target="_blank">an inside job</a>!"<br />
<br /></div>
Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-29866898758670876732012-09-10T22:44:00.000-04:002012-09-10T22:44:32.668-04:00Maintenance of Our Spiritual Condition<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: blue;">"It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do. . . . <i>We are not cured of alcoholism.</i> What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition." (Emphasis added.)</span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: blue;"><i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>, page 85</span></div>
</blockquote>
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"More sobriety brought about by not drinking and attendance at a few meetings is very good, indeed," Bill W. observed. "(B)ut," he pointed out, "it is bound to be a far cry from permanent sobriety and a contented, useful life." (<i>Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i>, pages 39-40.) <br />
<br />
Why is this?<br />
<br />
Simply because it is all too easy to let up on the spiritual work that must be practiced daily if we are to stay on the spiritual path, to attain and enlarge our spiritual consciousness, and to attain <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/10/higher-consciousness-and-new-state-of.html" target="_blank">"a new state or consciousness and being."</a> The daily practice of <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2008/07/self-examination-meditation-and-prayer.html#more" target="_blank">"self-examination, meditation and prayer"</a> - a practice that all of the world's great wisdom traditions advocate - is required for spiritual growth and spiritual living.<br />
<br />
Almost invariably, however, at some point in their recovery most alcoholic addicts will let up on the "daily . . . maintenance of (their) spiritual condition." Some, like me, will survive by dint of good fortune (or, perhaps, good karma) to again take up the spiritual path. Others will die - quickly or slowly - often after many repeated and failed attempts to regain their sobriety.<br />
<br />
Each day that elapses without practicing the necessary measure of "self-examination, meditation and prayer" that is required to deflate one's ego (and keep it deflated), in my experience, makes it easier for another day to pass without the requisite practice. The inevitable outcome is grave, however, physically or literally.<br />
<br />
Having once attained sobriety and obtained some freedom from the ceaseless chatter of the egoic self - having reduced to some extent the intensity and frequency of one's "painful inner dialogue" - it becomes all too easy to turn to the matters of the world and neglect the matters of the psyche and the soul. This is particularly so, if we fall victim (as I did) to the "delusion" that life has somehow become "manageable." <br />
<br />
All our time time then, it seems, is taken up by the struggle to either: (a) keep the things (money, possessions, relationships, etc.) we have attained and think are necessary for our continuing security and happiness, or (b) to pursue the things we don't have, but which we think are necessary to make us feel happy and secure. <br />
<br />
Unfortunately, the sense of "calamity, (the) pomp, and (the) worship of other things" engendered by such pursuits obscures "the fundamental idea of God" that is inherent in each of us. (<i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>, page 55.) It is a spiritual truth that happiness and security is attained not by what we have, but rather by what we do not need to have.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
"Why, is it," <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Theodore-J.-Nottingham/e/B000AQ31SC" target="_blank">author</a>, videographer and minister, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/tednottingham" target="_blank">Rev. Ted Nottingham</a> is asked (in the video below), " (that) after introducing the . . . inner work on one's self and meditation to so many people, do so few actually move forward (on the spiritual path) in a committed, long-term way?" It is, I think, a very good question for all of us in recovery to consider.</div>
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"It is so hard to find even those few who are interested in these profound realities," Rev. Nottingham notes, "in part because it requires such change on our part to enter into the wisdom teachings - whatever they may be - from across all great traditions. If one truly discovers the core of their meaning, it has to do with spiritual awakening, spiritual evolution, self-awareness, brutal self-honesty, and an understanding of what it takes to go against the current of one's self." <br />
<br />
"(M)ost people . . . drop off very quicky," he observes. "Even to begin with there are so few who are interested in just the general concepts. But then, (even) amongst those (few), there may be an initial excitement, curiousity (or) enticement into the mysteries of the sacred, of a greater conscious, of new understanding, of self-mastery, (and) of understanding others. . . . And, yet, before you know it they just drift back to the old ways."<br />
<br />
"Numerous teachers have pointed out that you are worse off having found something and then turned away from it," he notes, "because (then) you can never go back to sleep in quite the same way (and) live as if you hadn't discovered another path."<br />
<br />
"It is indeed a great human tragedy," says Nottingham, "to have come close to life transforming teachings that offer the kind of human wholeness and fulfillment, radiance, (and) goodness that they are designed to do, and then to walk away from them and fall back into the dreary egoism and self-absorption that makes life ultimately meaningless."<br />
<br />
"Do not leave before the miracle happens," A.A. newcomers are often urged. "It is exceedingly hard," as many old-timers who have 'slipped' point out, "to have a head full of A.A. and a belly full of beer." Yet, there seems to be (as Nottingham points out) an all-too human propensity to fall off the spiritual path once one has had the barest tasting of the spiritual fruits that continuing and advancing on the path will yield. (This, I would note, may be especially true of alcoholic addicts who are, it has been observed, "rebellious by nature.")<br />
<br />
"The main reason to those out there who wonder why so few remain consistently (and) focused on these teachings of whatever variety," says Nottingham, "is to recognize that it is part of our human condition, to be so fragile, to be constantly on the edge of just falling off (or) falling back into automatic routines and the easy way."<br />
<br />
I am neither Christian, nor am I non-Christian, <i>per se</i>. Rather, I follow the advice given to me by my late spiritual mentor to "study all religions until I become able to see <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/06/spiritual-conceit-and-prejudice-from.html" target="_blank">the sameness</a> in them all." Or, as Bill W., advised, at page 87 of the Big Book: "Be quick to see where religious people are right. They have much to offer us." )<br />
<br />
In that vein, there is a particularly cogent observation of Jesus that so figuratively answers the question of why so many people let up on the spiritual practices that have saved, or can save their lives. That being:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="reftext"></span><span style="color: blue;"><span class="woc">“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.</span> <span class="woc">For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few."</span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: blue;"><span class="woc">Matthew 7:13-14</span></span><br />
<span class="woc"></span></div>
</blockquote>
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Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-70378828793476413852012-09-09T10:16:00.000-04:002012-09-09T21:49:04.095-04:00Suffering and Spiritual Awakening<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: blue;">"As long as we placed self-reliance first, a genuine reliance upon a Higher Power was out of the question. That basic ingredient of all <a href="http://"Humility Consists in Having a Perfectly Open Mind"" target="_blank">humility</a>, a desire to seek and do God's will, was missing."<br /><br /><i>"For us, the process of gaining a new perspective was unbelievably painful."</i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: blue;">". . . In every case (however), pain (has) been the price of admission into a new life. But this admission price has purchased more than we expected. It brought a measure of humility, which we soon discovered to be a healer of pain. We began to fear pain less, and desire humility more than ever."<br /><br />". . . We saw we needn't always be bludgeoned and beaten into humility. <i>It could come quite as much from our voluntary reaching for it as it could from unremitting suffering</i>." (Emphasis added.)</span><br />
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<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: blue;"><i>Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i>, pages 72 & 76</span></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-r1VTbouLYW0/UEwPmrY7zoI/AAAAAAAABzk/yGovXDECbFg/s1600/igloo.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="169" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-r1VTbouLYW0/UEwPmrY7zoI/AAAAAAAABzk/yGovXDECbFg/s200/igloo.png" width="200" /></a></div>
Arctic explorer, Knud Rasmussen, (1879-1933), returned to Europe with stories of the suffering endured by Inuit shamans, the "medicine men" of the High Arctic, in their ritual initiations. One such shaman, Igjugarjuk, told Rasmussen how as a young adolescent he had been taken out on the ice-floes by an elder shaman. There, in the constant dark and cold of a polar winter, he had been left by himself in a snow shelter for forty days with minimal contact in order that he might meditate upon "the Great Spirit," and thereby attain a spiritual awakening. <br />
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"Sometimes I died a little," Igjugarjuk said. But, then, he told Rasmussen, "a helping spirit" arrived "in the form of a woman who seemed to hover in the air above (me)." After this, he was taken home by the elder shaman, there to diet and fast for an additional five months under the elder shaman's guidance. Such ordeals, he told Rasmussen, are "the best means of attaining a knowledge of hidden things."<br />
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"The only true wisdom," lgjugarjuk said, "lives far from mankind, out in the great loneliness, and can be reached only through suffering. Privation and suffering alone open the mind of a man to all that is hidden to others."<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7ZbqOS6t_B0/UEwND5jcKqI/AAAAAAAABys/ZYBTgv1Kbsg/s1600/InuitNajagneq.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="152" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7ZbqOS6t_B0/UEwND5jcKqI/AAAAAAAABys/ZYBTgv1Kbsg/s200/InuitNajagneq.png" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Najagneq, circa 1922</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Another shaman, Najagneq, told Rasmussen of his "venture into the silence," an ordeal in which he met the spirit he called Sila - a spirit, according to Najabneq, that "cannot be explained in so many words." "Sila," he told Rasmussen, is "a very strong spirit, the upholder of the universe, of the weather, in fact of all life on earth. (A spirit) so mighty that his speech to man comes not through ordinary words, but through storms, snowfall, rain showers, the tempests of the sea, all the forces that man fears, or through sunshine, calm seas, or small, innocent, playing children who understand nothing." <br />
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"When times are good," Najagneq told Rasmussen, "Sila has nothing to say to mankind. He has disappeared into his infinite nothingness and remains away as long as people do not abuse life but have respect for their daily food. No one has ever seen Sila," he said. "His place of sojourn is so mysterious that he is with us and infinitely far away at the same time."<br />
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"The inhabitant or soul of the universe," Najagneq said, "is never seen; its voice alone is heard. All we know is that it has a gentle voice, like a woman, a voice so fine and gentle that even children cannot become afraid. And what it says is: '<i>Sila ersinarsinivdluge</i>,'" i.e., "There is nothing to be afraid of in the universe."<br />
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(From <i>Schizophrenia: The Inward Journey</i>, by Joseph Campbell)</div>
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The alcoholic addict, in recovery, knows much about suffering - both the untreated suffering of addiction, and the suffering that is frequently endured in sobriety as he or she awakens to to the spiritual power that resides "deep down in every man woman and child." (<i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>, page 55.)<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pR8P3SuJFZc/UEwRaI5ze0I/AAAAAAAABzs/DzL4GK9ULzs/s1600/StJohnofCross.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pR8P3SuJFZc/UEwRaI5ze0I/AAAAAAAABzs/DzL4GK9ULzs/s200/StJohnofCross.png" width="149" /></a></div>
"Faith is a dark night for man," St. John of the Cross wrote in <i>The Dark Night of the Soul</i>, "but in this very way it gives him
light. . . . Like a blind man he must lean on dark faith, accept it for his guide
and light, and rest on nothing of what he understands, tastes, feels, or imagines. . . . To
reach the supernatural bounds a person must depart from his natural bounds and leave self
far off in respect to his interior and exterior limits in order to mount from a low state
to the highest."<br />
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"When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or avoid," writes Bill W. (<i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>, page 53), "we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else he is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What was our choice to be?"<br />
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Painful as it may be, for every alcoholic addict has a lower or higher pride - be it pride of intellect, pride of independence, pride of person, pride of strength, or even pride of faith - each such person, on attaining true humility, will have passed his or her 'Dark Night of the Soul' and will have attained to a quiet consciousness of the Spirit, or God, that pervades their being and the world around them.</div>
Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-53437122628457029102012-09-04T17:35:00.000-04:002012-09-04T17:35:15.215-04:00Dealing With Anger<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-w53_3KOTpxw/UEZyLsgpMYI/AAAAAAAABxk/kML04KpVmys/s1600/anger.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="140" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-w53_3KOTpxw/UEZyLsgpMYI/AAAAAAAABxk/kML04KpVmys/s200/anger.png" width="200" /></a><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically. In dealing with resentments, we set them down on paper. We listed people, institutions or principles with whom we were angry. <i>We asked ourselves why we were angry</i>. In most cases it was found that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our personal relationships (including sex) were hurt or threatened. So we were sore. . . . "<br /><br />"We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how? . . ."<br /><br />"This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like the symptoms and the way they disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? <i>God save me from being angry. </i>Thy will be done."" (Emphasis added.)</span></span></blockquote>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> <i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>, pages 64-67</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="text Eph-4-22" id="en-NIV-29295">"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self . . . </span><span class="text Eph-4-23" id="en-NIV-29296">to be made new in the attitude of your minds . . .</span><span class="text Eph-4-24" id="en-NIV-29297"> to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.</span><span class="text Eph-4-25" id="en-NIV-29298"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>Therefore . . .</span></span><span class="text Eph-4-26" id="en-NIV-29299"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>“In your anger do not sin." <i>Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry</i>.</span>" </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><i>Ephesians</i> 4: 22-26</span> </div>
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<span style="color: blue;">* * * * * * * * * * * * *</span><br />
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<a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/09/on-resentment-and-forgiveness.html" target="_blank">Resentments</a> are, simply put, thoughts that <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/10/anger-dubious-luxury.html" target="_blank">anger</a> us which we hold onto over time. Thus, in all the world's great wisdom teachings, anger is seen as a base emotion that must be addressed promptly as it separates the person who is angered from Wholeness. </div>
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In Buddhism, anger is seen as one of the "three poisons" that perpetuate the suffering of the unenlightened being. A Chinese proverb observes that "anger is a toxic poison that eats away the vessel which contains it from the inside out." In Christian teachings, anger is seen as one of "<a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/06/character-defects-seven-deadly-sins.html" target="_blank">the seven deadly sins</a>" - meaning one of the seven ways in which our thoughts are misdirected and harmful. (Thus, we are advised not to "let the sun go down" while we are still angry, for anger held over time becomes deep resentments that separate our being in consciousness from God.) </div>
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In A.A. parlance, "anger" is seen as one of the character defects of the ego which must be removed in order to allay the spiritual malady (i.e., the separation from Wholeness) which lies at the heart of our alcoholic addiction." Thus, we are cautioned (at page 66) in the 'Big Book' of <i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i> that:<i> <i> </i></i><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><i>"If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the
brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal
men, but for alcoholics these things are poison."</i></i></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: left;">
But what a subtle, varied, yet powerful, emotion anger is. How deeply held are the "old ideas" that give rise to our anger in the form of resentments; and how powerfully do anger and resentments continue to affect us. "To be angry," observes <a href="http://www.facebook.com/ted.nottingham" target="_blank">Rev. Ted Nottingham</a> (in the attached video), "puts us outside of <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/08/discerning-gods-will-for-us.html" target="_blank">God's will</a>."</div>
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<br />
"According to the Holy Teachings, not only of (the Christian) religion, but of all Great Teachings, "he points out, "anger is a poison, anger is a lie. Because when we are angry all that we can see is what justifies us. . . . We can only see that little piece that we think allows us to be angry. We'll never give that to the other person who is angry - we'll never justify their anger - but we can always come up with lots of good reasons for (ours). . . . (Yet) suddenly all of our justifications, all of our self-righteousness, all of our bad habits are laid bare (and) shown for what they are."<br />
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<span style="color: #351c75;"><i>"It is a <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/07/letting-go-of-anger-and-emotional.html" target="_blank">spiritual axiom</a>
that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is
something wrong with us. If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in
the wrong also. But are there no exceptions to this rule? what about
"justifiable" anger? If somebody cheats us, aren't we entitled to be
mad? Can't we be properly anger with self-righteous folk? For us of A.A.
these are dangerous exceptions. We have found that justified anger
ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it."</i></span></div>
<span style="color: #351c75;"></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75;"><i>The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i>, page 90</span> </div>
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"Be sure," Rev. Nottingham notes, "that every time you are angry you are turning away from the Holy (and) disabling . . . Spirit in your life." And this is true, it seems, irrespective of the many variations of anger that may manifest in our consciousness, including (according to Nottingham): "malice, irritability, rejection, resentment, hatred, intimidation, dissatisfaction, complaining, criticizing, condemnation, annoyance, frustration (and) indignation. </div>
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"The way we live!" he exclaims. "You can go from first thing in the morning until the last thing at night and (anger) is all you have got. No wonder," he notes, "people can't find God. We are cutting ourselves off. . . . We are supposed to oppose that part of us that is turned away from the will of God."</div>
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Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-80642609903890798852012-08-31T20:19:00.000-04:002012-08-31T20:20:13.764-04:00Fearlessness Required<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: blue;">"Notice that the word "fear" is bracketed alongside the difficulties (in our <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/07/reducing-ego-at-depth-through-accurate.html" target="_blank">4th Step inventory</a>). . . . This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. It was an evil corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through it. It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn't deserve. <i>But did not we, ourselves, set the ball rolling? </i>Sometimes we think fear ought to be classified with stealing. It seems to cause more trouble."</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-topY1_p9DYI/UEEv5ciemgI/AAAAAAAABww/XJbqZubjiC8/s1600/ghandiquote.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="196" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-topY1_p9DYI/UEEv5ciemgI/AAAAAAAABww/XJbqZubjiC8/s200/ghandiquote.png" width="240" /></a><span style="color: blue;">"We reviewed our fears thoroughly. We put them down on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them. We asked ourselves why we had them. Wasn't it because self-reliance failed us? Self-reliance was good so far as it went, but it didn't go far enough. Some of us once had great self-confidence but it didn't fully solve the fear problem, or any other. When it made us cocky, it was worse."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: blue;"> </span><span style="color: blue;">"Perhaps there is a better way -- we think so. For we are now on a different basis; the basis of relying upon God. <i>We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves.</i>" </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: blue;">". . . The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. <i>All men of faith have courage</i>."<i> </i></span><br />
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<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: blue;"><i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>, pages 67-68 (Emphasis added.)</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">* * * * * * * * * * * * * </span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">There is actually nothing "demanded" or "required" in A.A. (or its sister organizations), even the 12 Steps themselves are only "suggested" as a program of action that will relieve the sufferer of his or her addiction to alcohol, <i>etc</i>. However, we are "begged" by those who came before us to be "fearless and thorough from the very start." We are "begged" (I believe) because the author of the 'Big Book' <i>knew</i> that <i>all</i> fears are a manifestation of self, of the ego, of the seemingly ceaseless chatter in our mind. Indeed, he observes that on our old basis of living fear permeated the very "fabric of our existence."</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">He begged us to be fearless, I believe, because he knew that an unexpectedly new and "different basis" other than that of relying on the random, fearful thoughts of the ego/self, a new "basis of relying upon God," </span></span><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">is essential to recovery. </span></span>We are, therefore, not "asked" but "begged" to be fearless, for "fearlessness" is (as Mahatma Gandhi once observed) "the first prerequisite of spirituality." For those of us (i.e., <i>all</i> of us) whose very lives are dependent on an awakening of the Spirit within, we cannot allow egoically-based, self-centered fears - <i>all of them imaginary </i>- to cloud out and obscure the perspective of our new found inner reality.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">It is often said that <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2012/04/fear-and-expectations.html" target="_blank">fear</a> (and fear's inverse clone, <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/10/overcoming-our-fears-and-desires.html" target="_blank">desire</a>) is generated by our thinking that we will fail to get something we think we need, or we think that we might lose something which we already have and believe that we need to hold on to. Yet, when faced fearlessly, it is abundantly clear that such thinking is fanciful: nothing nor anyone is permanently ours, nor will they soothe our existential fears or desires; the spiritual teachings of religious and wisdom traditions around the world, as well as the spiritual experiences witnessed in A.A. and its sister organizations, make this clear. After all, as an old-timer pointed out to me years ago when I first cleaned up, "You never see an armored car in a funeral procession." Nor, I would add, do you ever see the hearse pulling a U-Haul. Fear is, thus, merely an egoic and self-centered "need announced,"as Neale Donald Walsch (author of "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/What-God-Wants-Compelling-Humanitys/dp/0743267133" target="_blank"><i>What God Wants</i></a>") observes in the video attached below.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">"(P)ride, leading to self-justification, and always spurred by conscious or unconscious fears," Bill W. writes, "is the basic breeder of most human difficulties. . . . Pride lures us into making demands upon ourselves or upon others which cannot be met without perverting or misusing our God-given instincts. When the satisfaction of our instincts for sex, security, and society becomes the sole object of our lives, then pride steps in to justify our excesses."</span></span><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><br /><br />"All these failings," he
notes, "generate fear, a soul sickness in its own right. Then fear, in
turn, generates more character defects. Unreasonable fear that our
instincts will not be satisfied drives us to covet the possessions of
others, to lust for sex and power, to become angry when our instinctive
demands are threatened, to be envious when the ambitions of others seem
to be realized while ours are not. We eat, drink, and grab for more of
everything that we need, fearing we shall never have enough. And with
general alarm at the prospect of work, we stay lazy. We loaf and procrastinate, or at best work grudgingly and under half steam. These fears," he points out, "are the termites that devour the foundations of whatever sort of life we try to build."<br /><br />"So," Bill concludes, "when A.A. suggests a fearless moral inventory, it must seem to every newcomer that more is being asked of him than he can do. Both his pride and his fear beat him back every time he tries to look within himself. Pride says, "You need not pass this way," and Fear says, "You dare not look!" But the testimony of A.A.'s who have really tried a moral inventory is that pride and fear of this sort turn out to be bogeymen, nothing else."</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">(<i>Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i>, pages 48-49.) </span></span></div>
<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><br />As Gandhi points out: "Fearlessness is (thus, indeed) the first prerequisite of spirituality . . . (and) cowards can never be moral." Therefore, do not be cowed by the thoughts of the ego, a false self which is constructed and driven wholly by our misguided fears and our outsized, unfulfillable desires.</span></span><br />
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Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-62955159595267799342012-08-30T19:03:00.000-04:002012-08-31T00:30:31.026-04:00The Practice of Spiritual Awakening<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: blue;">"Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer."</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="color: blue;">Alcoholics Anonymous</i><span style="color: blue;">, page 87.</span></div>
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WARNING: <i>This blog entry (and the attached <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUfuQLXbZvI&feature=context-gfa" target="_blank">video</a> by Rev. Ted Nottingham) may be somewhat confusing to those readers who may not have completed the Twelve Steps, or those among us who do not seriously seek, or have let up on our efforts, to "improve our conscious contact with God."</i> </div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
Please remember: "Keep an Open Mind."</div>
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"Do not conform any longer to the world," St. Paul advised, "but be transformed by the renewal of your mind." (Rom. 12:2) And what is "renewal" if it is not "recovery" - a "recovery" which is at the heart of A.A's program of action and, indeed, which is at the heart of all the world's great religious and wisdom traditions?</div>
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"Religion," notes <a href="http://www.authorsden.com/theodorejnottingham" target="_blank">Rev. Nottingham</a> (real <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/09/pesonal-religion-and-finding-god-of.html">'inner religious'</a> transformation, as opposed to the too-often insignificant and superficial trappings and practices of a mere 'outer religion'), "means to relink or reconnect with Spirit." In the following video, in which he introduces "a perennial teaching, timeless and universal, of spiritual transformation," Nottingham surveys a number of little known spiritual teachings and teachers - everything from Orthodox Christianity to Zen Buddhism - with an emphasis on "The Fourth Way" teachings of G.I. Gurdjieff and P.D. Ouspensky. <br />
<br />
These teachings may prove invaluable to those of us in recovery who are constantly trying to expand and deepen our spiritual recovery - even though, perhaps, there are few enough amongst us who wish or are willing to go to the deeper depths which may be available through outside traditions. But, "keep an open mind", as there are hidden, esoteric depths to every tradition, and with each new <a href="http://spiritualnotreligious.blogspot.ca/2010/12/finding-deepest-part-of-you-butterworth.html">depth</a> we experience, a new and further depth awaits just beyond.<br />
<br />
As Ouspensky observed: </div>
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"The evolution of human consciousness is a question of personal efforts and is therefore a rare exception amongst human beings. . . . Most people simply do not want to awaken. To become a different being we must want it greatly, and over many years. Without the necessary efforts we will not evolve. Moreover, we must acquire qualities we may believe we already possess, but in fact do not."</blockquote>
"The attainment of higher levels of consciousness," says Nottingham, "is closely related to certain religious practices which we find in all cultures, such as meditation and contemplation. Yet," he notes, "(t)hese are difficult paths to tread because our attention is always being caught by the ceaseless chattering going on in our heads." Nonetheless, he points out, "(i)t is possible to become receptive to a state of pure consciousness without thought, where truth is revealed to us directly without words."<br />
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"Awakening from the sleep of a carnal life, an externally-driven life, does not happen automatically," Nottingham observes, "it requires directed attention and sincere, repeated efforts. . . . You will not (however) make the effort to awaken," he notes, "if you do not know you are asleep. We have to realize our captivity before it can occur to us to escape from it."<br />
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<br />
Further helpful videos are available on Ted Nottingham's <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/tednottingham" target="_blank">Youtube channel</a>, and his books (as well as those of his wife, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Fourth-Way-Esoteric-Christianity/dp/0966496035" target="_blank">Rebecca Nottingham</a>, and certain of their valuable translations) are available <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Theodore-J.-Nottingham/e/B000AQ31SC" target="_blank">online</a>. Rev. Nottingham also publishes a free weekly podcast available on <a href="http://tednottingham.podomatic.com/">PodOmatic.com</a>. <br />
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* * * * * * * * * * * * * </div>
<br />
At the end of the above video, Rev. Nottingham recommends the following practices as tools for attaining spiritual awakening and deepening our spiritual experience:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Tools and Practices for Spiritual Development</b></div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Recognize the sleep of unawareness. <i>These things keep us asleep:</i></li>
<ul>
<li>Being unaware that we are asleep.</li>
<li>Being unaware that we can choose to be awake.</li>
<li>Not choosing it.</li>
<li>Presuming that we are already fully aware.</li>
<li>Believing that we are already good.</li>
<li>Negative emotions and our attachment to them.</li>
<li>Justifying our negative emotions.</li>
<li>Automatic habits.</li>
<li>Constant inner talking.</li>
<li>Fear of change.</li>
<li>Spiritual laziness.</li>
<li>Allowing ourselves to be swept up in the current of our responses to life.</li>
<li>Fearful emotions:</li>
<ul>
<li>insecurity,</li>
<li>embarrassment,</li>
<li>impatience,</li>
<li>self-pity,</li>
<li>dread, anxiety, worry, nervousness,</li>
<li>criticizing,</li>
<li>hopelessness,</li>
<li>depression, despair, and jealousy.</li>
</ul>
</ul>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Discipline your mind to be aware. </li>
</ul>
<div>
<ul>
<li>Stop and silence negative thoughts and negative emotions. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Silence justifications. Never accept your justifications for your negative emotions.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Don't believe fear. Fear opposes faith. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Don't consent to anger. Angry emotions have violence in them. </li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Remember why you are choosing to overcome your anger. </li>
<ul>
<li>It is unhealthy physically, mentally and spiritually.</li>
<li>It wastes your energy and life force.</li>
<li>It never produces goodness.</li>
<li>To not allow yourself to be under the dominion of changing circumstances.</li>
<li>To choose to <i>act</i>, not just <i>react</i> to life.</li>
<li>To become more than only the result of what has done to you. </li>
</ul>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i>Practice</i> not criticizing, not objecting, not exerting or expressing your opinions and attitudes. </li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i>Silence</i> negative inner talking. </li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Think of <i>scale</i> and <i>relativity</i>, your universal significance and what is really important. </li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>For a moment,<i> </i>stand<i> outside </i>of the<i> </i>stream of events and your responses.</li>
<ul>
<li>Sense your real self above them and outside them.</li>
<li>Become aware of your unique individuality and become aware of your relative insignificance.</li>
<li>Become aware of your connectedness with all things. </li>
</ul>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Quiet your mind by thinking about what is good and worthy and beautiful.</li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Stop thinking about yourself and how you feel, and what you like and what you don't like, and whether you approve or not of every person and event.</li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Consciously give your attention and time to whatever good things inspire you. </li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Realize and accept <i>that you alone are responsible</i> for all of your actions and their consequences in the world. </li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Accept not being understood.</li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Accept injustice, judgment, condemnation, slander, gossip, and your insufficiency . . . and return good for evil, forgiveness for offense.</li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Stop complaining. It is noisy and there is no "Thy will be done" in it.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Stop taking offense. Humility is not offendable. </li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Release your requirements that other people be how you think they should be.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Release your expectations of life and circumstances and your need to be satisfied by them.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li> Live the fruits of the spirit whether you are satisfied or not.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Stop thinking that you deserve better. No one deserves anything.</li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li> Give up having to have the last word.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Don't worry about the impression you make on others.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Sacrifice your need to be right.</li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Don't speak negatively about any other person.</li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Refuse to listen to, believe, or participate in gossip. </li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Give up being impatient. It is the vanity of wanting your will now over God's timing.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Stop thinking about what other people are thinking about you.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Refuse to accept your justifications for acting badly.</li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li> Practice being scrupulously honest with yourself and other people.</li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Whatever you do, do it to please God. Who else do you have to impress? </li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Strive for purity of heart. </li>
<ul>
<li>In purity you will find peace and humility. </li>
<li>In humility you will find freedom, authenticity, and serenity.</li>
</ul>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Process for Spiritual Development</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i>Aim</i>: Loving God, goodness, purity, servanthood.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Acquire knowledge to know what you must do to live out your aim.</li>
<ul>
<li>Know thyself and know what to do about thyself. </li>
</ul>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i>Direct</i> your attention to become aware of what is going on <i>inside</i> you, in your thoughts and emotions.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Observe yourself with:</li>
<ul>
<li>scathing honesty,</li>
<li>perseverance,</li>
<li>integrity and patience. </li>
</ul>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Use <i>discernment</i> to recognize how and when you are outside God's will which is always good.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Practice STOP toward your negative thoughts and feelings.</li>
<ul>
<li>Practice silence toward them one at a time. </li>
</ul>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Create a separation between your authentic self and your automatic habits of thoughts, feelings, attitudes and opinions.</li>
</ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li> Choose what you consent to think, feel and do.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Choose goodness before gratification -- what you know to be good rather than what feels good.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i>Sacrifice</i>, give up, your negative emotions. Don't condemn yourself for them. Change them.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Do not allow yourself to express negative emotions out loud.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Make yourself <i>passive</i> to your automatic reactions.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Make your internal responses quiet so that you can act with intentionality.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><i>Release</i> your requirements of life, people and circumstances.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Release your desire for satisfaction.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Willingly bear your necessary suffering, including all the efforts you must make to develop spiritual maturity and obedience.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Remember that God's nature is one thing and that is perfect Goodness.</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div>
</div>
</div>
Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-66080931873069536952012-08-21T14:49:00.000-04:002012-09-09T21:45:59.231-04:00Alcohol Addiction and Drug Addiction<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> By Alex Kerwin </span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Alcohol and drug addiction are conditions where a person is
physically and possibly mentally addicted to their substance of choice. In some
cases, an individual is addicted to more than one substance. The addiction can
cause health problems, social problems, legal problems, family problems and
work problems. In extreme cases, either type of addiction can lead to death, by
either overdose or issues arising from extended use.<br />
<br />
As of 2009, in the United States alone, there was an average of 15,183 liver-related
alcoholism deaths. That is compared to an average in the same year of 24,518
total deaths from alcohol, and that does not include motor vehicle accidents
and alcohol related murder. Between 2000 and 2004, the number of
alcohol-related deaths climbed 0.6 percent on a global scale. It is unclear
whether this was due to an increase in alcoholism, binge drinking or a rise in
drinking all around. It is known that as countries develop the number of women
who consume alcohol rises, so there is an expectation of increase in China and
India in the future.<br />
<br />
Drug addiction is no less dangerous than </span><a href="http://www.treatment-centers.net/alcohol-addiction-facts.html"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">alcohol addiction</span></a><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">.
In fact, in some cases, it is exponentially worse. A lot of street drugs are
mixed up in people's houses with absolutely no legal standards for production,
due to their illegality. An example of such a drug is Krokodil, which is
essentially gasoline and Codeine. The two mixed together become a toxic
injected drug that is universally deadly for addicts who do not stop. It begins
a cycle of extreme tissue damage, lowering the life expectancy of users to two
to three years. Furthermore, it is an injected drug, which is always dangerous,
given the potential spread of disease.<br />
<br />
Statistics show that about one in nine people between 12 and 25 have abused
prescription drugs. This trend is not changing. In fact, all the evidence
points to a rise in prescription </span><a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">drug abuse</span></a><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> among Americans. Between 1990
and 2000, the rate of people abusing prescription medications almost
quadrupled.</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br />
<br />
Because there are so many dangers related to addiction of both drugs and
alcohol, it is paramount that addicts get the help they need. They can find it
at abuse treatment centers. Most </span><a href="http://www.treatment-centers.net/"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">treatment centers</span></a><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">
offer a variety of treatments for drug and alcohol abuse. They may offer
medicine to patients to ease withdrawals. They may offer counseling. They can
have both outpatient and inpatient programs. The trick is finding the right one
and committing to it. It is a life-saving choice.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Alex Kerwin writes for </span><a href="http://www.treatment-centers.net/"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Treatment-Center.net</span></a><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> to
raise awareness of the dangers of drug and alcohol addiction.</span></div>
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Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-3105812104043784612012-07-23T12:02:00.000-04:002012-07-23T12:02:15.265-04:00". . . Any Lengths"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="color: #0b5394;">
"His craving for alcohol was the equivalent on a low level of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness, in medieval terms: union with God."</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/05/jung-wilson-correspondence.html" style="color: #6fa8dc;" target="_blank">Letter from Carl Jung to Bill Wilson</a></b><span style="color: #0b5394;">, dated January 31, 1961, discussing the recovery of Rolland H. from alcoholic addiction using the Oxford Groups' "word-of-mouth" spiritual program that was passed from Rolland to Ebby T., and on to Bill W.</span></blockquote>
</blockquote>
In the "How It Works" reading, which is customarily read at many A.A. meetings, we hear: "If you have decided you want what we have and are <i>willing to go to any lengths</i> to get it - then you are ready to take certain steps." (Emphasis added.) Reflecting on the early years of sobriety, I ask myself: Was I willing to go to "any lengths?" The answer is quite clearly: "No!" While I didn't drink (or use), joined a group, got a sponsor, did an inventory, shared it and made amends etc., I would not, and did not, pray and meditate on a consistent basis, nor did I give these vital practices any more than a surface trial.<br />
<br />
In the "<i>Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i>" (at pp. 39-40) we read: "More sobriety brought about by the admission of alcoholism and by attendance at a few meeting is very good indeed, but it is bound to be a far cry from permanent sobriety and a contented, useful life." And, how true that ignored warning turned out to be for me! If you knew me at five years sober, you would likely have said: "Yes! He's got it." But by roughly the time I was fifteen years sober, having achieved much in the worldly sense of life - profession, money, prestige, family and home, <i>etc</i>. - not only was I profoundly discontented and virtually useless to friends, family and the community, but my sobriety and my very life were in grave peril. The reason? I had neglected the clear warning in the 'Big Book' (at p. 85) that "(w)e are not cured of our alcoholism" but, rather, "(w)hat we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition."<br />
<br />
I was an extremely fortunate man, however. A good friend from early sobriety reached out to me when he found out my life had crumbled beneath me due to what was most clearly a case of being "dry" rather than mentally and spiritually "sober." (Only half-jokingly, I refer to it as being a period of "stark raving sobriety.") Additionally, a man who had been fifteen years years sober and then drank, but who was then fifteen years sober once again, saw that I was truly suffering and reached out to sponsor me. Although he was even then dying of cancer, he took me through the Steps and illustrated to me how and what needed to be done if I, too, was to truly recover from, by then, "a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body."<br />
<br />
Even more importantly, as it turned out, was another old-timer who recognized my suffering and took me once again through the 'Big Book, showing me what it was that I needed - a power greater than my own narrow, egoic "self" - and where to find it. The "how" of establishing such a relationship with "a Power greater than myself" - i.e., "how" to pray and meditate effectively - was, in turn, shown to me, albeit reluctantly at first, by a third old-timer steeped in decades of meditative practice.<br />
<br />
It is on the all-important page 55 of the 'Big Book' that we are told where to seek and find a "God of our own understanding."<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
". . . (D)eep down in every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form it is there. . . . We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis, <i>it is only</i> <i>there</i> that He may be found." (Emphasis added.)</blockquote>
Collectively and individually, these gentlemen showed me how to access that "unsuspected inner resource" which is discussed in the <i>Spiritual Experience</i> appendix to the 'Big Book.' Yet, how difficult it is to establish and maintain an effective practice of meditation and prayer, how difficult to truly practice Step Eleven.<br />
<br />
"We are not saints," it is true. But how willing are each of us "to grow along spiritual lines"? What "lengths" are each of willing to go to? Is it, indeed, "<i>any</i> length." (Emphasis added.)<br />
<br />
For myself, the question is: Am I seeking enlightenment? For the possibility of attaining an absorbed consciousness anchored in the Ground of Being is spoken of in each of the world's great spiritual traditions, whether it is called liberation, enlightenment, mystic union, moksha, nirvana, or more plainly, as Dr. Jung phrased it "union with God."<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"There is a direct linkage among <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2008/07/self-examination-meditation-and-prayer.html">self-examination, meditation, and prayer</a>. Taken separately, these practices can bring much relief
and benefit. But when they are logically related and interwoven, the
result is an unshakeable foundation for life, now and then we may be
granted a glimpse of that ultimate reality which is God's kingdom." </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
(<i>Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i>, page 98.) </blockquote>
The question thus remains for each of us: Am I truly "willing to go to any lengths" and to endure the rigours of the necessary spiritual disciplines to gain relief and break the bondage of self which is the hallmark of the ordinary human condition? Remember the caution we hear so often: "half measures availed us nothing." I found it to be was so with me.</div>Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-79444011735573447992012-05-17T16:32:00.000-04:002012-05-17T19:26:10.439-04:00Higher Consciousness, the Perennial Philosophy, and the Divine Ground of Being<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It was the writer and pioneering New Age philosopher, <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/04/bill-w-spiritual-awakening-and.html" target="_blank">Aldous Huxley</a>, who called Bill W. "the greatest social architect of the twentieth century," in recognition of the unique A.A. service structure that Bill worked so tirelessly to forge: ("<i>Pass It On</i>," pp. 368-369). Yet, Bill's affinity for, and friendship with, Huxley was based on their mutual dedication to exploring matters of spirituality, metaphysics, mysticism and higher consciousness. One wonders, in light of this, whether Huxley was not as much (or even moreso) impressed by the wholesale awakenings to a greater consciousness beyond the ego which were occurring among the early membership of Alcoholics Anonymous.<br />
<br />
Like Gerald Heard, the polymath philosopher who brought Huxley and Bill together, Huxley viewed humankind's awakening to higher consciousness as an evolutionary imperative. In the same time frame in which he met Bill, Huxley wrote extensively on what he called the "perennial philosophy" underlying the world's sundry religions and wisdom traditions. In his introduction to a translation of the <i>Bhagavad Gita </i>by Christopher Isherwood and Swami Prabhavananda (titled "<i>Song of God</i>"), Huxley wrote:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"At the core of the Perennial Philosophy we find four fundamental doctrines."<br />
<br />
"First: the phenomenal world of matter and of individualized consciousness - the world of things and animals and men and even gods - is the manifestation of a Divine Ground within which all partial realities have their being, and apart from which they would be non-existent."<br />
<br />
"Second: human beings are capable not merely of knowing <i>about</i> the Divine Ground by inference; they can also realize its existence by a direct intuition superior to discursive reasoning. This immediate knowledge unites the knower and the known."<br />
<br />
"Third: man possesses a double nature, a phenomenal ego and an eternal Self, which is the inner man, the spirit, the spark of divinity within the soul. It is possible for a man, if he so desires, to identify himself with the spirit and therefore with the Divine Ground, which is of the same or like nature with the spirit."<br />
<br />
"Fourth: man's life on earth has only one end and purpose: to identify himself with his eternal Self and so come to unitive knowledge of the Divine Ground."</blockquote>
Reading over these points, it is easy to see why there was such an affinity between Huxley and Wilson. By dint of his remarkable spiritual awakening at Townes Hospital - an awakening that left him initially questioning his very sanity - Bill had attained (albeit for a limited time) what Huxley would call "unitive knowledge of the Divine Ground" that lies within and yet surrounds each of us: that Divine Ground in which "we live, and move, and have our being."<br />
<br />
Bill was obviously acutely aware of the very specific and non-dualistic "unitive knowledge" at the heart of true religious/mystic/spiritual experience, an awareness confirmed both by his personal experience and from his reading of <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/06/william-james-and-varieties-of-spritual.html" target="_blank">William James' <i>Varieties of Religious Experience</i></a>, which is repeatedly cited in the 'Big Book' of <i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>. "When we became alcoholics," he wrote, "crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What," he asked, "was our choice to be?" ('Big Book,' page 53.)<br />
<br />
In retrospect, it seems eminently clear that Bill indeed experienced God as "everything" in his flash of spiritual insight, and it was this experience alone that arrested his slide into drunken oblivion and insanity. "The thing Bill had was a perfectly clear case of <i>satori </i>or<i> somate</i>," noted his friend Tom P. "You know by the fruits. The guy goes out and starts to act like an enlightened man. No one ever went further to prove it than that man did - he led a life of total service." ("<i>Pass It On</i>," page 302.)<br />
<br />
The effectiveness of such a non-dualistic unitive experience in overcoming chronic alcoholism was confirmed by <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/05/jung-wilson-correspondence.html" target="_blank">Carl Jung </a>in his later correspondence with Bill. "(The) craving for alcohol," Jung observed, "(is) on a low level the thirst of our being for wholeness, expressed in medieval language: union with God."<br />
<br />
"The only right and legitimate way to such an experience," Jung pointed out, "is that it happen to you in reality and it can only happen to you when you walk on a path which leads you to higher understanding. You may be led to that goal," he observed, "by an act of grace, or through a personal and honest contact with friends, or through a higher education of the mind beyond mere rationalism."<br />
<br />
It was Bill's good fortune (and ours) - although Jung might call it a series of synchronicities - that he was introduced to the Oxford Group's methodology and was shown by Ebby (who was remarkably sober at that time) its effectiveness in overcoming acute alcoholism. The Oxford Group's "program" (from which Bill would derive A.A.'s Twelve Steps) was clearly "a path that leads . . . to higher understanding" beyond the confines of the limited and self-conscious duality of the human ego, a path that led Bill, Dr. Bob, and now millions of other sufferers, to a "unitive knowledge of the Divine Ground." <br />
<br />
That a path to "a higher understanding of the mind beyond mere rationality" had been established, a path that had already brought about wholesale spiritual awakenings for tens of thousands of individuals, was undoubtedly a matter of the greatest interest to non-alcoholic spiritual seekers such as Huxley and Heard. In the 1940's and 1950's, these men (and their associates) were busy exploring the various means by which individuals could move from shallow, self-conscious, ego-centricity to higher consciousness, an exploration that would lay the foundations for widespread explorations of higher consciousness that would occur in the 1960's. It was this spiritual "discovery" more so than the development of A.A.'s traditional service structure, one suspects, that led Huxley to call Bill "the greatest social architect of the twentieth century."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-92167822546934515032012-05-08T12:37:00.001-04:002012-05-08T12:37:27.905-04:00Life Is Inherently Unmanageable<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Do not be fooled by the delusion that somehow life has suddenly become "manageable" now that you have stopped drinking and/or drugging. This is the last of the "<a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/10/three-delusions-and-few-conclusions.html" target="_blank">three delusions</a>" that are identified in the 'Big Book' of <i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>. Admission that one does not have the requisite power to "manage" one's life is the completion of Step One. In reality, life becomes wholly "acceptable" <i>to</i> us, rather than "manageable"<i> by</i> us. In seeing this, the description of the individual as an "actor" at pages 60-62 of the 'Big Book' is most helpful.<br />
<br />
"Most people try to live by self-propulsion," we read. That is, we try to manage life and all its details in order to satisfy the desires and quell the fears that arise through our constant discursive thinking - <i>i.e.</i>, the fears and desires of <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/11/on-ego-as-ones-sense-of-self.html" target="_blank">the false, egoic self</a>. In doing so we may have the best intentions. That is, if life's circumstances turn out the way we try to shape them, the results will be good for everyone, even ourselves. (But remember the old adage: "The road to hell is paved with good intentions.")<br />
<br />
In trying to give effect to our plans and schemes we must, of necessity, try to influence and direct the thoughts, words and actions of others, for "no man is an island." In doing so, we read, we "may sometimes be quite virtuous . . . kind, considerate, patient, generous . . . even modest and self-sacrificing." Driven by what we think is necessary or desirable, we will do almost anything to have life proceed as we wish it to. And, if being the good guy doesn't work, we "may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest." In short, we will do almost anything that is required to have life come off as we want it too; and, if it doesn't, we are likely to become "angry, indignant, (and) self-pitying."<br /><br />"What," we are asked, is the actor's "basic problem"?<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"Is he not really a <i>self</i>-seeker even when trying to be kind? Is he not a victim of the <i>delusion</i> that he can wrest satisfaction out of life if only he <i>manages </i>well?" (Emphasis added.)</blockquote>
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In his <i>Meditations</i>, the Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher, <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/05/on-awakening.html" target="_blank">Marcus Aurelius</a>, made the apt observation that: "Life is <i>inherently</i> unmanageable." (Emphasis added.) <br /><br />It is most helpful, I find, to remember two things: (a) that "(t)he problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind" ('Big Book,' page 23); and, (b) that "lack of power (is) our dilemma" ('Big Book,' page 45). We lack the inherent power to manage life and all its many aspects; yet, when identified with the ego, and attached to its stream of incessant thoughts, we continually fall into the trap of thinking that we can - and <i>must</i> - shape the circumstances and outcomes of our lives. Doing so, we react to life instead of responding to it. And, typically, we react rather poorly.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: black;">"(A)cceptance," we read, "is the answer to all my problems
today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place,
thing, or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, and I
can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or
situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I
could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept
life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to
concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on
what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes."</span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></blockquote>
<a href="http://spiritualblissblog.blogspot.ca/2011/03/beyond-perceptions-and-conceptions-to.html" target="_blank">Acceptance</a> of life's inherent unmanageability allows us to give effect to the "three pertinent ideas" set out at the end of the "<i>How It Works</i>" reading. Both "before and after" we give up alcohol (and/or other drugs), it must be clear:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
(a) "That we (are) alcoholic and (cannot) manage our own lives."<br />(b) "That probably no human power (can relieve) our alcoholism."<br />(c) "That God (can) and (will) if He (is) sought."</blockquote>
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Admission and acceptance of these three principles allows us to move forward to Steps Four through Step Nine which will effectively deflate our ego (and its sense of separateness), relieve of us of our old ideas and way of thinking, and thereby enable us to experience a "spiritual awakening" within our Being that truly allows us to "accept life on life's terms."<br />
<br />
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
* * * * *</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
(Note also: The description of "the actor" applies not only to the alcoholic, but to "most people" - <i>i.e. </i>to so-called "normal people" - as well. When we understand that virtually everyone we encounter is self-identified and ego-centric, it helps us to understand and be unaffected by their often-times odd attitudes, their seeming eccentricities, and their <i>self</i>ish or <i>self</i>-centered behaviours. In seeing this, we are enabled to truly forgive them their "trespasses," knowing that they too are merely victims of the ego's "delusion" that they too can "wrest satisfaction and happiness out of life by managing well," and that therefore they <i>must</i> manage life at all costs.)</div>
</div>Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-86271737758224904662012-04-29T09:52:00.000-04:002012-04-29T09:52:25.738-04:00Spiritual Experience a.k.a Religious Experience<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="color: blue;">
"Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer."<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>, page 87</div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="color: blue;">
"The terms "spiritual experience" and "spiritual awakening" are used many times in this book which, upon careful examination, shows that the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism has manifested among us in many different forms."<br />
<br />
"Yet it is true that our first printing gave many readers the impression that these personality changes, <i>or religious experiences</i>, must be in the nature of sudden and spectacular upheavals. Happily for everyone, this conclusion is erroneous."<br />
<br />
". . . Most emphatically we wish to say that any alcoholic capable of honestly facing his problems in the light of our experience can recover, provided he does not close his mind to all spiritual concepts. He can only be defeated by an attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial." (Emphasis added.)</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i style="color: blue;">Alcoholics Anonymous</i><span style="color: blue;">, pages 567-568</span></div>
<br /></blockquote>
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Neither Alcoholics Anonymous nor its sister organizations is "allied with any sect (or) denomination." Indeed, the Foreword to the Second Edition of the 'Big Book' of <i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>, first published in 1955, makes clear that A.A. at that time in its history included "Catholics, Protestant, Jew, Hindus, and a sprinkling of Moslems and Buddhists." Moreover, the "<i>We Agnostics</i>" chapter is devoted to those who may have no particular faith or belief in "a Power greater than (them)selves," let alone "a God of (their) own understanding." Why, then, in the "<a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/10/higher-consciousness-and-new-state-of.html" target="_blank"><i>Spiritual Experience</i>" Appendix </a>does the 'Big Book' talk of "religious experience"? And, are people that stress that A.A. is "a spiritual not a religious program" wholly right?<br />
<br />
The answer to that last question, it seems to me, is both yes <i>and </i>no. While we may respect the validity and usefulness of all creeds and denominations - being "quick to see where religious people are right" - we embrace none in particular. What William James termed "outer religion" - steeples, bells, incense, liturgies, vestments and ceremonies, etc. - has no part whatsoever to play in A.A. However, what James termed "inner religion" in his masterwork, "<i><a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/09/pesonal-religion-and-finding-god-of.html" target="_blank">The Varieties of Religious Experience</a>" </i>(the only outside reference in the 'Big Book'), has <i>everything</i> to do with the spiritual solution which we seek.<br />
<br />
Religion - from the Latin <i>re ligare</i>, meaning to 're-tie' or 'reunite' - in its "outer sense" means to tie or unite a group of individuals in a congregation, or communion. In its "inner sense," however, it means to reunite our highest and self-less consciousness with a greater consciousness or Being, perhaps with the "God-consciousness" referenced in the "<i>Spiritual Experience</i>" appendix.<br />
<br />
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In Eastern traditions, which tend to stress meditation even more so than prayer, the word that is used for this "inner sense" or practice of religion is "yoga." Derived from the same Sanskrit term for the English word "yoke" - <i>i.e</i>., that which ties the ox to the cart - it, too, means to 're-tie' or 'reunite' our deepest consciousness and being with a greater consciousness and Being, itself. Thus, in A.A., from its very start, individuals have knowingly or unknowingly sought the inner "religious experience" which is the very same "<a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/04/spiritual-awakening-fourth-dimension-of.html" target="_blank">spiritual experience</a>" (or "spiritual awakening") we are, more or less, comfortable and familiar with<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="color: blue;">
"T<span class="text Matt-11-29" id="en-NIV-23489"><span class="woj">ake my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. </span></span><span class="text Matt-11-30" id="en-NIV-23490"><span class="woj">For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”</span></span></div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="color: blue; text-align: center;">
Matthew 11:29-30 </div>
<span class="text Matt-11-30" id="en-NIV-23490"><span class="woj"></span></span> </blockquote>
Bill W., in his belated correspondence thanking <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/03/carl-jung-and-alcoholics-anonymous-part.html" target="_blank">Carl Jung</a> for the unknowing initial impetus he gave to what would become A.A., acknowledged the insights that Jung had passed on to Rowland H., the "certain American business man" whose experience is described at pages 26-28 of the 'Big Book.' Citing the advice Jung gave to Rowland, Bill wrote:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"First of all you told of his hopelessness, so far as any further medical or psychiatric treatment might be concerned. . . . When he then asked you if there was any other hope, you told him there might be, provided he could become the subject of a spiritual or religious experience - in short, a genuine conversion. " ("<i>Pass It On</i>," page 382.)</blockquote>
Bill then told Jung of his own spiritual awakening and those of "many of thousands" other A.A. members. "As you will now see clearly," he wrote, "this astonishing chain of events actually started long ago in your consulting room, and it was directly founded upon your own humility and deep perception. . . . Because of your conviction that man is something more than intellect, emotion, and two dollars' worth of chemicals, you have especially endeared yourself to us. . . ."<br />
<br />
In response, Jung noted that (at least as it was in Rowland's case) the "craving for alcohol" is "the equivalent on a low level of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness, expressed in medieval terms: the union with God."<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0evc4t094N4/T5070bqPUHI/AAAAAAAABvA/TTEYqZmtIpc/s1600/Jung.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0evc4t094N4/T5070bqPUHI/AAAAAAAABvA/TTEYqZmtIpc/s200/Jung.png" width="152" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Carl G. Jung<br />
1875-1961<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
"Jung is considered to be the</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
first modern psychiatrist to view</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
the human psyche as"by nature </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
religious" and make it the focus </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
of exploration." See: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_Jung#cite_note-0" target="_blank"><i>wikipedia</i></a></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
"The only right and legitimate way to such an experience," Jung continued, "is that it happens to you in reality, and it can only happen to you when you walk on a path which leads you to higher understanding. You might be led to that goal by an act of grace or through a personal and honest contact with friends, or through a higher education of the mind beyond mere rationalism."<br />
<br />
"Alcohol in Latin is <i>spiritus</i>," he concluded, "and you use the same word for the highest religious experience as you do for the most depraving poison. The helpful formulas therefore is: <i>spiritus contra spiritum</i>."<br />
<br />
In a further letter responding to <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/05/jung-wilson-correspondence.html" target="_blank">Jung's correspondence</a>, Bill wrote:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"Your observation that drinking motivation often includes that of a quest for spiritual values caught our special interest. I am sure that, on reflection, thousands of our members could testify that this had been true of them, despite the fact that they often drank for oblivion, for grandiosity, and other undesirable emotions. Sometimes, it seems unfortunate that alcohol used in excess, turns out to be a deformer of consciousness, as well as an addictive poison." ("<i>Pass It On</i>," page 385.)</blockquote>
Additionally, acknowledging the help that many A.A. pioneers had received from reading Jung's "<i>Modern Man in Search of a Soul</i>," he praised Jung's observation that: "(M)ost persons having arrived at age 40 and having acquired no conclusions or faith as to who they were, or where they were, or where they were going next in the cosmos, would be bound to encounter increasing neurotic difficulties; and that this would be likely to occur whether their youthful aspirations for sex union, security, and a satisfactory place in society had been satisfied or not. In short, they could not continue to fly blind toward no destination at all, in a universe seemingly having little purpose or meaning. Neither could any amount of resolution, philosophical speculation, or superficial religious conditioning save them from the dilemma in which they found themselves. So long as they lacked any direct spiritual awakening and therefore awareness, their conflict simply had to increase."<br />
<br />
Acknowledging that these views had had "an immense impact" on some early members, Bill acknowledged that "(w)e saw that you had perfectly described the impasse in which we had once been, but from which we had been delivered through our several spiritual awakenings. This 'spiritual experience' had to be our key to survival and growth. We saw that an alcoholic's helplessness could be turned to vital advantage. By the admission of this, he could be deflated at depth, thus fulfilling the first condition of a remotivating conversion experience." ("<i>Pass It On</i>," pages 385-386)<br />
<br />
Bill's "conversion experience" is, of course, the same as a "spiritual awakening," as a "spiritual experience," or as a "religious experience." It <i>can</i> be found through "outer" religious practice, <i>but mere religious beliefs, knowledge and/or practice are not necessarily sufficient to bring it about.</i> It must be found "in reality" beyond mere self-consciousness, or ego-consciousness.<br />
<br />
Awakenings to such "higher understanding" or "higher consciousness" (a.k.a. "God-consciousness" as many A.A.'s refer to it) are reported in all religious traditions, but such a "spiritual experience" or "religious experience" is wholly an "inner phenomenon." It is, as it describes, first and foremost <i>experiential</i>. In this sense, and this sense only, the Twelve Steps are indeed, and <i>in fact</i>, just as much a "religious" as a "spiritual" program.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
* * * * *</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Jung's letter to Bill W., dated January 30, 1961:</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vDp19riTgfg/T50_YTQOioI/AAAAAAAABvc/iFmPP-5BO8I/s1600/JungLetter.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vDp19riTgfg/T50_YTQOioI/AAAAAAAABvc/iFmPP-5BO8I/s640/JungLetter.png" width="459" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Jung died on June 6th, 1961, before he could return Bill W.'s second letter.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
* * * * *</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="color: blue;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia;">"Hear
only this through the Holy Spirit within you, and teach your brothers to
listen as I am teaching you. When you are tempted by the wrong voice,
call on me to remind you how to heal by sharing my decision and MAKING
IT STRONGER. As we share this goal, we increase its power to attract the
whole Sonship, and to bring it back into the Oneness in which it was
created."</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="color: blue;">
<div class="text">
<span style="font-family: Georgia;">
</span></div>
<div class="text">
<span style="font-family: Georgia;">"Remember
that <a href="http://spiritualnotreligious.blogspot.ca/2011/10/you-are-miracle.html" target="_blank">"yoke" means "join together"</a> and "burden" means
message. Let us reconsider the biblical statement "my yoke is easy and
my burden light" in this way. Let us join together, for my message is
Light. I came to your minds because you had grown vaguely aware of the
fact that there is another way, or another voice. Having given this
invitation to the Holy Spirit, I could come to provide the model for HOW
TO THINK."<br /><br />
</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia;">"Psychology
has become the study of BEHAVIOR, but no-one denies the basic law that
behavior is a response to MOTIVATION, and motivation is will. I have
enjoined you to behave as I behaved, but we must respond to the same
mind to do this. This mind is the Holy Spirit, whose will is for God
always. It teaches you how to keep me as the model for your thought, and
behave like me as a result."</span> <br />
<div class="text">
<span style="font-family: Georgia;"></span></div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="color: blue;">
<div class="text">
<span style="font-family: Georgia;">"The
power of our joint motivation is beyond belief, but NOT beyond
accomplishment. What we can accomplish together has no limits, because
the call for God IS the call to the unlimited. Child of God, my message
is for YOU, to hear and give away as you answer the Holy Spirit within
you."</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>From "<a href="http://courseinmiracles.com/urtext/chapter_5/section_4.htm" target="_blank">A Course In Miracles</a></i>," Chapter V ("<i>The Voice for God</i>")</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-25279293955542086072012-04-26T18:29:00.001-04:002012-04-26T18:31:57.671-04:00Two Different Paths<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="color: blue;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cicwMSRAQRc/T5lWa9BVA1I/AAAAAAAABrE/8cLr9jNXRpM/s1600/twelvestepsandtraditions.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cicwMSRAQRc/T5lWa9BVA1I/AAAAAAAABrE/8cLr9jNXRpM/s200/twelvestepsandtraditions.png" width="135" /></a></div>
"More sobriety brought about by the admission of alcoholism and by attendance at a few meetings is very good indeed, but it is bound to be a far cry from permanent sobriety and a contented, useful life." </div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="color: blue; text-align: right;">
<i style="color: blue;">Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i><span style="color: blue;">, pp. 39-40</span></div>
</blockquote>
In writing the <i>Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i>, Bill W. used much the same method he had used in writing the 'Big Book' of <i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>. He circulated drafts of the essays to friends and editors for suggestions and critiques, and he then revised the transcript and made certain editorial changes - except, in doing so, this time he was assisted by his nonalcoholic secretary, Nell Wing (see "<i>Pass It On</i>," pp. 354-357). I often wonder, however, if during one of these revisions or transcriptions the words "(m)ore sobriety" leading off the above-quote (from his essay on Step Three) were not changed from "(m)ere sobriety."<br />
<br />
Many (and perhaps most) of us have, it seems, suffered from the "mere sobriety" of just not drinking at one point or another in our recovery. Looking back, I spent most of my earliest sobriety in the state of being "stark raving sober," although, of course, I was not aware of it at the time. Indeed, it was not until after I had been institutionalized for the increasing insanity resulting from being "merely sober" that I clued into their being a wholly different and entirely new depth of experience available through the rigorous practice of the Twelve Steps.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wnzYLLudAQQ/T5lYyUb5MkI/AAAAAAAABrU/Ndy1nd7304Y/s1600/forkinroad.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wnzYLLudAQQ/T5lYyUb5MkI/AAAAAAAABrU/Ndy1nd7304Y/s200/forkinroad.png" width="146" /></a></div>
As in all spiritual or religious practices and teachings, there are different paths and depths to the practice of the AA program - and different realizations and results to be experienced and achieved. Bill undoubtedly was aware of this, even to the extent that he wondered about the usefulness of the <i>Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i>. "At first," he wrote in correspondence dated October 5, 1953, "I was dubious whether anyone would care for it, save oldtimers who had begun to run into life's lumps in areas other than alcohol. But apparently," he observed, "the book is being used to good effect even upon newcomers."<br />
<br />
The different depths of practice and result are apparent throughout the <i>Twelve and Twelve</i>, although perhaps nowhere more explicitly noted than above (from the Step Three essay), and in the following observations (at page 98) made in regard to the practice of Step 11:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"There is a direct linkage among <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/03/as-alcoholic-addicts-in-recovery-we-are.html">self-examination, meditation and prayer.</a> Taken separately, these practices can bring much relief and
benefit. But when they are logically related and interwoven, the result
is an unshakeable foundation for life. Now and then we may be granted a
glimpse of that ultimate reality which is God's kingdom."</blockquote>
"(M)uch relief and benefit" <i>is</i>, of course, available through prayer, meditation and self-examination, as is "(m)ore sobriety brought about by the admission of alcoholism and attendance at a few meetings." The question thus becomes whether one is satisfied with the mere relief the program provides for the symptoms of active alcoholic addiction, or whether one truly seeks the "new state of consciousness and being" that Bill describes in his Step 12 essay (at page 107). For the mere relief of alcoholic addiction's symptoms (though such relief may well prove to be impermanent) there is one depth to the application of the 12 Steps; for inner transformation, however, a much greater depth must be explored. Such is the nature, per force, of all spiritual teachings.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
“Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is
broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through
it. <span class="reftext"></span>For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it. <span class="pbr">"</span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
Matthew 7:13-14</div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"Buddhas became enlightened because of realizing their essence.
Sentient beings became confused because of not realizing their essence.
Thus <i>there is one basis or ground, and two different paths</i>. . . . There are two choices, two paths. One is the path of knowing, the
wakefulness that knows its own nature. One is the path of unknowing, of
not recognizing our own nature, and being caught up in what is being
thought of . . . " <br />
(Emphasis added.)<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<a href="http://spiritualtranzendence.blogspot.ca/2012/04/buddha-nature-empty-cognizant-capacity.html">Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche</a><br />
"As It Is," vol. II, pp. 43-47 </div>
</blockquote>
The first step on both paths is to admit our alcoholism. This admission of alcoholism and attendance at a few meetings will lead to "more sobriety," but not necessarily "permanent sobriety and a contented, useful life." Sadly, many, perhaps most (at least for a time), settle for the "mere sobriety" that this gives. No longer in active addiction, their material life usually improves, and they may "settle" for the conventional aspirations that most people embrace as life's purpose - family, making money, success, etc. This is, perhaps, taking the lesser path, or, if you like, going through "the wide gate."<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jZzKxOfJinU/T5lbCrUMLQI/AAAAAAAABrk/ifCbTGlExQI/s1600/spiritualPath.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jZzKxOfJinU/T5lbCrUMLQI/AAAAAAAABrk/ifCbTGlExQI/s200/spiritualPath.png" width="133" /></a></div>
The next step on the inner path, however, is the admission that life <i>was</i>, <i>is</i> and <i>will remain</i> "unmanageable" by one's self-conscious and unaided will, not merely "unmanageable" when one was drinking and/or drugging. With this comes an understanding and - through understanding - a "belief" that there is a power greater than one's "self" or "ego" that will restore the sufferer to the "sanity" (<i>i.e.</i>, "wholeness") of one's authentic Being. Such belief turns into a prayer and aspiration to be relieved of "the bondage of self." These are the first tenuous steps that mark the beginning of "the narrow path."<br />
<br />
For those who choose or settle for "mere sobriety," Steps Four through Step Nine merely get the heat off them for past misconduct when they were in their active addiction, while Step 10 keeps the heat off. For the spiritual aspirant, though, Steps Four through Nine identify and remove the old "ideas, emotions and attitudes" that separate them <i>in consciousness</i> from their Being, while Step Ten becomes a "continuous" moral inventory, or self-examination, that alerts them when they have once again slipped back into ordinary egoic self-consciousness.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Few are those on "the wide path" who effectively practice Step 11, even those who do meditate and/or pray. For, as Bill notes, above in his Step 11 essay, it is only when we logically interrelate and interweave the practices of "self-examination, meditation, and prayer" that we are afforded, however briefly, spiritual awakening and true insight into the very nature of our Being, call it nirvana, mystic union, samadhi, enlightenment, God's kingdom, or what you will.<br />
<br />
It is as a result of the "<a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/10/higher-consciousness-and-new-state-of.html">spiritual awakening</a>" afforded by the inner path that we are enabled to truly and effectively carry the message of Alcoholics Anonymous to the alcoholic who still suffers, rather than merely "suggesting" that he or she "join a group, get a sponsor, go to meetings, and work the 12 Steps" <i>etc</i>. It is only through enlargement of our "new state of consciousness and being" that we enabled "to practice these principles in all our affairs."</div>Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-3856194382053125852012-04-24T17:41:00.000-04:002012-10-05T12:22:33.515-04:00Deep Down Within Us<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="color: blue;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1ScQqY1fGcQ/T5cbfog3qXI/AAAAAAAABqs/nYsbsxvPMlk/s1600/lightofconsciousness.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1ScQqY1fGcQ/T5cbfog3qXI/AAAAAAAABqs/nYsbsxvPMlk/s200/lightofconsciousness.png" width="160" /></a></div>
" . . (D)eep down within every man, woman, and child is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. . . ." <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>, page 55</div>
</blockquote>
<div style="color: blue; text-align: center;">
* * * * * </div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="color: blue;">
<i>"All sentient beings are buddhas,<br />But they are covered by temporary obscurations.</i>"</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="color: blue;">
<i>Hevajra Tantra</i> </blockquote>
<div style="color: blue;">
* * * * *</div>
<div style="color: black;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: black; text-align: left;">
"This temporary obscuration is our own thinking, If we didn't already have the buddha nature ("that Great Reality deep down within us") meaning a nature that is identical to that of all awakened ones, no matter how much we try we would never become enlightened." </div>
<div style="color: black; text-align: center;">
. . . </div>
<div style="color: black; text-align: left;">
"Recognize your mind and in the absence of any concrete thing, rest loosely. After a while we again get caught up in thoughts. but by recognizing again and again, we grow ore and more used to the natural state. It's like learning something by heart - after a while, you don't need to think about it. Through this process, our thoughts involvement grows weaker and weaker The gap between thoughts begins to last longer and longer. At a certain point, for half an hour there will be a stretch of no conceptual thought whatsoever, without having to suppress thinking."</div>
<div style="color: black; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: black; text-align: right;">
Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche, "As It Is," Vol. II, pp. 48-49</div>
<div style="color: black; text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: black; text-align: center;">
* * * * *</div>
<div style="color: black; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="color: black; text-align: left;">
"There is a direct linkage among self-examination, meditation and prayer. Taken separately, these practices can bring much relief and benefit. But when they are logically related and interwoven, the result is an unshakeable foundation for life. Now and then we may be granted a glimpse of that ultimate reality which is God's kingdom."</div>
<div style="color: black; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: black; text-align: right;">
<i>Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i>, page 98 </div>
<div style="color: black; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: black; text-align: center;">
* * * * * </div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-H3nt-gFVDo0/T5ccQuEZkmI/AAAAAAAABq8/x9JoakdgXwM/s1600/meditationCosmos.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-H3nt-gFVDo0/T5ccQuEZkmI/AAAAAAAABq8/x9JoakdgXwM/s1600/meditationCosmos.png" /></a></div>
<div style="color: blue; text-align: left;">
"And when he was demanded of the Pharisees, when the kingdom of God
should come, he answered them and said, The kingdom of God cometh not
with observation: </div>
<div style="color: blue; text-align: left;">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, <i>the kingdom of God is within you.</i>" </blockquote>
</div>
</blockquote>
<i style="color: blue;">Luke</i><span style="color: blue;"> 17:20-21 </span></div>
</div>
Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-85620696530857349702012-04-20T13:03:00.000-04:002012-04-20T13:03:08.935-04:00We Atheists<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">On the night of November 11, 1989, I experienced what many alcoholic addicts describe as "a moment of clarity." Alcohol and drugs had not been working for me the way they used to. They could no longer alleviate the punishing, self-conscious thoughts in my mind, and they only added to the fear and emotional turmoil I was regularly experiencing, particularly when I was "in my cups." Thankfully, I acted upon that brief moment of quiet acceptance and I was introduced to Alcoholics Anonymous. I had a fixed desire to quit drinking and drugging.<br />
<br />
From the start I had great difficulties with the program's spirituality. Raised in a scientific household and community (my father was a nuclear scientist, though my mother was a Christian Scientist), I had no belief in God or a Higher Power. For <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/05/religion-and-spirituality.html">religion</a>, or religionists, I had no time. Fortunately I quickly got myself a sponsor. I made my first and most crucial mistake in sobriety, however, on that first day we talked (the significance of which will be described below). Knowing me from the time I was out "performing" - his description, not mine - he told me point blank that I would have to take Step Two.<br />
<br />
Having been in A.A. a number of weeks before we hooked up, and knowing that this "Power" greater than myself referred to the God of my understanding from Step Three, I asked him what his idea of God was. He told me he viewed God as "Good Orderly Direction," and I adopted this, believing that without the booze and drugs I would sure be able to able to turn around my thinking into some semblance of "Good Orderly Direction." This I tried with a vengeance. I returned to university and then law school, where I graduated at the top of my classes. Surely this was a sign of "Good Orderly Direction?"<br />
<br />
Nonetheless, and needless to say, the material success I had in sobriety did not suffice to deepen my spiritual experience, even though I went through the Twelve Steps several times and went to many, many meetings in the first nine years of my sobriety. (I am, I know now, an alcoholic addict that needs more than a handful of meetings a week to maintain my sobriety.)<br />
<br />
With life's success taking me to a future I could not have imagined, working long hours as a lawyer at one of Canada's oldest and most reputable law firms in order to support my family and give them the luxuries I thought they wanted and deserved, I turned my back on A.A. I could not imagine taking myself away from my family during the admittedly few family hours my professional responsibilities afforded me. Thus, I made a conscious decision <i>not</i> to attend A.A. in the community we had just moved to. (My second great mistake in A.A.)<br />
<br />
For the next 4 and 1/2 years, I held it together as best I could before falling into a profound depression that cost me all that I had worked for, and which nearly cost me my life. In and out of psychiatric wards for the next eighteen months of this tortured sobriety, my life, my family and my career fell apart. <i>All without taking a drink or drugs.</i><br />
<br />
(In his Step Three essay in <i>The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i>, Bill W. writes: "More sobriety brought about by the admission of alcoholism and attendance at a few meetings is very good indeed, but it is bound to be a far cry from permanent sobriety and <i>a happy and contented life</i>.") (Emphasis added.)<br />
<br />
Fortunately, in October of 2003 the best-friend of my first sponsor (who had passed away when I was only 5 years sober) heard I was in trouble and left me a telephone message. I would not return that message until January of 2004 (after a botched suicide attempt), but when I did my sponsor's friend hit the nail on the head: <i>I had become a dry drunk</i>. He took me to an unforgettable A.A. meeting, and forthwith I got a new sponsor and joined a group in the community I was living in, having been separated from my wife and my role as a full-time father<br />
<br />
I attended A.A. on a daily basis thereafter. Fourteen-and-a-half years clean and sober, but without a clue as to how the program of Alcoholics Anonymous worked though, as I mentioned, I had gone through the entire Twelve Steps several times in my early, ineffective years in the Fellowship. I had been held back by the prejudice and contempt I had for all matters religious or spiritual.<br />
<br />
My new sponsor - a man who drank at 15 years of sobriety, but had once again reached that threshold - took me through the Steps once more, getting me all the way to Step Seven before he succumbed to cancer. Little did I know that there were other old-timers watching me, and watching me continue to suffer because I did not have a God of my own understanding. (Although I wished to believe in a Higher Power, I could not find one of my own understanding, prejudiced as my thinking was by my understanding of science. I needed a Higher Power that was compatible with what I knew of both psychology and science.)<br />
<br />
Fourteen years clean and sober, with my life in shreds and acutely feeling the demise of both my marriage and a brief fling with a very lovely woman, my best A.A. friend and I were out looking for a new apartment for me to live in. On finding and renting the perfect apartment for me, my friend and I went to celebrate by having lunch on a nearby patio. My friend is an interesting and talkative man, so I just listened to him talk as I basked in the incredible feeling of peace, ease of mind and well-being I was enjoying as a result of our morning's work.<br />
<br />
Suddenly, however, I stopped listening to my friend and my thoughts turned I know not where, likely to my family or my recent failed relationship. It does not matter, for what I felt as soon as I turned my mind from what my buddy was saying to my own thoughts a wave of great fear washed over me from head to toe. I <i>knew</i> then that my problem was an inside problem, and that the solution to it must somehow <i>also</i> be an inside job.<br />
<br />
Several days later, one of the old-timers who had been watching me saw that I was through suffering. (He had been urged by another friend to talk to me, but his reply was, "No. He hasn't done suffering yet.") Approaching me, he offered to lend me a book: Eric Butterworth's "<i>Discover the Power Within You</i>." It was the first book of a spiritual nature (including all the books A.A. had published) that I read with an entirely open mind and new perspective. It was the first book of a spiritual bent in which I did not throw away the 'baby' of those things I could understand and believe with the 'bathwater' of concepts that were beyond my understandings and belief.<br />
<br />
A day later, this old-timer and I spent about four hours going through the 'Big Book' of <i>Alcoholics Anonymous </i>and discussing our mutual experiences. It was not a thorough dissection of the 'Big Book.' Rather, it was an exposition of some of the principle parts of our basic text that I would need to understand if I were to progress spiritually. The main sections he discussed with me were:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq"><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Page 23: "(T)he main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind </li>
</ul></blockquote><blockquote class="tr_bq"><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Page 55: "We found that Great Reality (<i>i.e.</i>, the God of our own understanding) deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that it can be found." </li>
</ul></blockquote><blockquote class="tr_bq"><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Page 567: "With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped <i>an unsuspected inner resource </i>which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves. . . . Most of us think that this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience. . . . Our more religious members call it <i>God-consciousness</i>." (Emphasis added.)</li>
</ul></blockquote>True sobriety, I was shown, is a matter of replacing the self-conscious stream of thinking in our minds (<a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/11/on-ego-as-ones-sense-of-self.html">'self' or the human 'ego'</a>) with a greater awareness and higher consciousness - one unaffected by the seeming duality and separateness of the human ego and our ego-centric thinking.<br />
<br />
The "first and most significant mistake" I had made so long ago then became clear to me: Instead of asking my first sponsor what God is, I should have asked what "self" is. After all, it was only a Power greater than my "self" that I would need in order to restore me to sanity, not the God of some of the more perverse religious teachings. It is only once we know, understand, address and overcome the workings of the ego/self through meditation and prayer that we can understand God, Allah, Brahman Bhudda-nature, or whatever you may wish to call It. Indeed, I know that it was only then that I, a former atheist, came to believe and then to <i>experience</i> God's presence within and all around me.<br />
<br />
Most helpful, was the following passage from the eminent theologian, Paul Tillich, which was included in Butterworths' <i>"Discover the Power Within You.</i>"<i> </i>(Tillich was a friend and colleague of Reinhold Niebuhr, the man who wrote our Serenity Prayer.) In a book of his collected sermons, Tillich talks directly to the atheist about the "depths" of his or her being:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">"The wisdom of all ages and of all continents speaks about the road to our depth," Tillich notes. "It has been described in innumerably different ways. But all those who have been concerned - mystics and priests, poets and philosophers, simple people and educated - with that road through confession, lonely self-scrutiny, internal or external catastrophes, prayer, contemplation, have witnessed to the same experience. They have found they are not what what they believed themselves to be, even after a deeper level had appeared to them below the vanishing surface. That deeper level itself became surface, when a still deeper level was discovered, this happening again and again, as long as their lives, as long as they kept on the road to their depth. . . . " <br />
<br />
"The name of this infinite and inexhaustible depth and ground of all being," he continues, "is God. That depth is what the word God means. . . . For if you know that God means depth, you know much about him. You cannot then call yourself an atheist or an unbeliever. For you cannot think or say: Life has no depth! Life itself is shallow. If you could say this in complete seriousness, you would be an atheist; but otherwise you are not. He who knows about depth knows about God."<br />
<div style="text-align: right;"><br />
[Paul Tillich, "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001DETITQ/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=trazendenthep-20&linkCode=as2&camp=217145&creative=399373&creativeASIN=B001DETITQ">The Shaking of the Foundations</a>," Scribners, pp. 56-57.]</div></blockquote><br />
That "depth" is an ever-increasing refinement of consciousness, a consciousness that is inextricably entwined with all matter. In its purest form it is God. "When we became alcoholics," we read in the 'Big Book,' "crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What was our choice to be?" I faced that proposition and came to know that God is, in fact, everything - the manifest and the unmanifested, everything within and everything without all beings and even matter itself.<br />
<br />
Having experienced the higher consciousness ( or "<a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/10/new-state-of-consciousness-and-being.html">God-consciousness</a>") that underlies but is obscured by the ego/self, I came not only to believe, but know, that there is a "Power greater than ourselves" that can restore us to sanity. While I may not understand that higher consciousness in all its facets, I know that it is there at every moment. It is "by self-forgetting" that it is found, and found in the last place most people would think to look for it: "deep down within every man, woman and child."</div>Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-30307408964775900522012-04-18T17:58:00.000-04:002012-04-18T17:58:54.871-04:00Escape From the Bondage of Self<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4OMSIiPUrfQ/T48zp_vsD0I/AAAAAAAABps/WeM3FVx5mA4/s1600/jailcell.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="196" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4OMSIiPUrfQ/T48zp_vsD0I/AAAAAAAABps/WeM3FVx5mA4/s200/jailcell.png" width="200" /></a></div>To be trapped in the prison-house of the smaller "self" - mired in the incessant stream of involuntary thinking that is the <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/11/on-ego-as-ones-sense-of-self.html">the human "ego"</a> - is to be prey to the full range of destructive emotions such thinking produces. It is to be powerless with seemingly no way out. Unaddressed, the alcoholic addict - "irritable, restless and discontented" unless he or she can can once again experience "the ease and comfort" once afforded by alcohol and/or drugs - is exceedingly prone to seek chemical relief from how he or she is feeling. "<a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/04/stuck-in-rut-of-old-ideas-emotions-and.html">Many of us tried to hold onto our ideas</a>" - along with the toxic emotions such ideas produced - "and the result was <i>nil</i> until we let go absolutely."<br />
<br />
"The problem of the alcoholic centers in the mind," we read in <i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>. It is our incessant, involuntary thinking which is the true root of the alcoholic addict's problem. Alcohol and/or drug use is merely the symptom of the problem. While drinking and/or drugging once worked to alleviate "the painful inner dialogue" of the ego, for most alcoholic addicts such fleeting relief was lost long before they sobered up. Hence the need for a "spiritual awakening." It is the resurgent spirit of our higher consciousness that returns the alcoholic addict to sanity as the ego is deflated "at depth."<br />
<br />
Self-consciousness, or ego-identification, is of course the bane of every man and woman's existence. The non-alcoholic addict may seek relief from the thoughts and emotions generated by ego-identification in any number of ways - exercise, work, watching t.v., <i>etc</i>. - some of which may conventionally be deemed 'constructive' or others which become obsessive and 'destructive.' For the alcoholic addict, however, the temptation (which may at times of great emotional upheaval seem an imperative) is to return to booze or drugs. After all, at some time in the near or distant past, these once worked and provided, however fleetingly, the relief from acute self-consciousness that was desired. Unlike the means the so-called "normal" person turns to for such ego-relief, however, alcohol and drugs have the power to enslave and kill the alcoholic addict.<br />
<br />
To counter the inevitable emotional maelstrom that accompanies one's old ideas and attitudes - our habitual thoughts and way of thinking - the Twelve Steps are designed to foster a spiritual awakening. Describing the effect of the "vital spiritual experiences" that relieve alcoholic addicts of their obsessive, self-conscious thinking and its accompanying emotions, Carl Jung (at page 27 of the 'Big Book') observed: "Ideas, emotions and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them." Bill W., at page 107 of <i>The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i>, describes it as "a new state of consciousness and being."<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kTGaVOYt13Q/T481S-XZ-gI/AAAAAAAABp8/wo3fvmPazOc/s1600/meditationjail.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="154" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kTGaVOYt13Q/T481S-XZ-gI/AAAAAAAABp8/wo3fvmPazOc/s200/meditationjail.png" width="200" /></a></div>Steps Four through Step Nine are designed to rid us of our old ideas and obsessions, Step Ten is designed to keep new obsessions from arising, while Step 11 is designed to prolong and deepen our experience of God-consciousness.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">"There is a direct linkage among <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2008/07/self-examination-meditation-and-prayer.html">self-examination, meditation, and prayer</a>," Bill observes. "Taken separately, these practices can bring much relief and benefit. But when they are logically related and interwoven, the result is an unshakeable foundation for life, now and then we may be granted a glimpse of that ultimate reality which is God's kingdom." (<i>Twelve and Twelve</i>, page 98.)</div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">* * * * * </div><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="color: blue;">"We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that He may be found. It was so with us." </blockquote><div style="text-align: center;"><blockquote class="tr_bq"><i style="color: blue;"> Alcoholics Anonymous</i><span style="color: blue;">, page 55.</span></blockquote>* * * * * </div><blockquote class="tr_bq" style="color: blue;">"And when he was demanded of the Pharisees, when the kingdom of God should come, he answered them and said, The kingdom of God cometh not with observation: Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, <i>the kingdom of God is within you</i>." </blockquote><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue;">Luke 17:20-21 (Emphasis added.) </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">* * * * *</div><blockquote class="tr_bq"><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: blue;">"With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves. . . . Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience. Our more religious members call it God-consciousness."</span></div></blockquote><div style="text-align: center;"><i style="color: blue;">Alcoholics Anonymous, pages 567-568</i><span style="color: blue;"> </span></div></div>Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-33114505630562868852012-04-12T13:34:00.000-04:002012-04-12T13:34:11.962-04:00H.O.W. It Works<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div style="text-align: left;"><blockquote class="tr_bq"><div><span style="color: #0b5394;">"We find that no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program. </span><i style="color: #0b5394;">Willingness, honesty and open-mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable."</i> </div></blockquote><blockquote class="tr_bq"><div><span style="color: #0b5394;"></span><i style="color: #0b5394;">Alcoholics Anonymous</i><span style="color: #0b5394;"> (4th ed.), page 568</span></div></blockquote></div>Referencing the above passage taken from the "<i>Spiritual Experience</i>" appendix to the 'Big Book' of <i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>, the acronym "H.O.W." (as in "H.O.W. It Works") is often cited as representing the three qualities of mind that are necessary prerequisites for effectively working the AA program and, thus, attaining the spiritual awakening that allows the alcoholic addict to recover from "a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body."<br />
<br />
Spirituality, with its ever-deepening understandings, is by its nature a nuanced phenomenon. There are then, of necessity, both plain and more subtle aspects to all of its dimensions. There are both conventional and extraordinary, mundane and subtle, layers to all spiritual teachings. To this end, it seems to me that there are both surface and deeper meaning to the requisite qualities of honesty, open-mindedness and willingness. And, of course, even beyond these meanings there are undoubtedly evermore deeper meanings to all three qualities, for in working the Twelve Steps, as in all spiritual practices, "more will be revealed."<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cW7T-VGIYgA/T4cLDy6JOMI/AAAAAAAABms/6LF4-jauYs8/s1600/taoTemple1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cW7T-VGIYgA/T4cLDy6JOMI/AAAAAAAABms/6LF4-jauYs8/s200/taoTemple1.png" width="200" /></a></div>“<i>Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. <span class="reftext"></span>But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.</i>" <br />
<div style="text-align: right;">- Matthew 7:13-14</div></blockquote><i><u>Honesty</u></i>: At the conventional level, becoming honest means that we do no further harm to others by lying, covering up, taking what does not belong to us and being untruthful <i>etc</i>.. Often referred to as "cash register honesty," this level of truthfulness is necessary in order that we can make an admission of powerlessness over alcohol (and/or drugs) and move forward in working the Twelve Steps. It is particularly important as we undertake our moral inventory which is both a 'fact-finding' and 'fact-facing' exercise that is wholly dependent on the alcoholic addict's being honest about the facts of his or her life.<br />
<br />
At a deeper level, however, the requisite honesty requires our facing the illusions and delusions that are at the core of our self-centeredness, or ego-centricity. (The <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/11/on-ego-as-ones-sense-of-self.html">ego</a>, in the sense that it is used here and throughout A.A. literature does not mean 'pride, per se, but rather the false sense of 'self'' that is a construction of our ordinary, worldly consciousness.)<br />
<br />
Derived from the Latin <i>honestas</i>, which originally designated a plant with semi-transparent seed pods, honesty means to be "free of deceit and untruthfulness" - in this instance, self-deceit. At page 55 in the 'Big Book,' we are assured that "the fundamental idea of God" is deep down within everyone - man, woman and child - but that it is "obscured" by the "calamity, pomp and worship of other things" that are characteristic of most people's ordinary thoughts - <i>i.e.</i>, the thought patterns that are characteristic of the human ego, the thought patterns Bill W. called a "painful inner dialogue.". Thus, in this instance, to be honest is to be free from the self-deceit and inherent untruthfulness of our egoic and addictive thought patterns, the fearful thoughts and emotions which block us off from our true inner nature.<br />
<br />
In becoming honest and recognizing the "ideas, emotions and attitudes" that habitually veil the divine or spiritual nature of our being, the curtains of "calamity, pomp and worship of other things" are at least temporarily or partially lifted and we can then see and sense the truth of what and who we are. In this sense, we can then truly become "a channel of His peace."<br />
<br />
Indeed, in describing the nature of the "spiritual awakenings" that were known to relieve alcoholic addiction, <span id="goog_600018434"></span><a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/03/carl-jung-and-alcoholics-anonymous-part.html">Carl Jung<span id="goog_600018435"></span></a> (at page 27 of the 'Big Book') observed that:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq"><i>"Ideas, emotions and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them."</i></blockquote> In this sense, one becomes honest with one's "self." <br />
<br />
<i><u>Open-Mindedness</u></i>: There are, I have come to realize, at least two facets of being truly open-minded. In the simplest terms, to be open-minded is to be free from the prejudice and contempt we may feel for spiritual and/or religious matters. Most often arising from our skepticism towards religious doctrines or the resentments we hold towards religious institutions, such prejudices (<i>i.e.</i>, pre-judgments) must be set aside. Indeed at page 87 in the 'Big Book' we are enjoined to "(be) quick to see where religious people are right."<br />
<br />
(In this regard, I note that the very word '<a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2010_12_01_archive.html">religion</a>' comes from the Latin phrase '<i>re ligare</i>,' which means "to rejoin" or "reunite." In this sense a "religious experience" - as discussed in the second paragraph of the <i>Spiritual Experience</i> appendix - is what reunites the suffering alcoholic addict with the totality of the world and all things, that is God.)<br />
<br />
At a deeper level, to be open-minded is to have a clear mind that is free of compulsive thinking and old ideas. In the <i>'How It Works</i>' reading (from page 55 in the 'Big Book') we are told that many of the early members of A.A. had "tried to hold onto (their) old ideas," but that "the result was <i>nil</i> until they let go absolutely." My experience is that "<a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/09/letting-go-of-old-ideas.html">old ideas</a>" are not only those that I held for years in respect of spiritual, religious and other matters, but they also consist of new ideas that I cannot easily get rid of - thoughts about people, circumstances, ideas and institutions - that occupy my mind unduly. <br />
<br />
Like chewing gum, it does not take long for such 'new ideas' to grow old and lose their appeal once I have chewed and ruminated on them for any length of time. Thoughts that frighten me, anger me or provoke envy in me etc., can quickly overwhelm my consciousness, bolstering my ego and separating me from everyone and everything, thereby obscuring that "Great Reality" that exists deep down within (all of) us." Indeed, it is only through the practice of meditation and prayer that we are effectively enabled to rid ourselves of such thoughts, and so improve "our conscious contact" with the God of our own understanding, however we may understand that Being.<br />
<br />
<i><u>Willingness</u></i>: The conventional meaning of 'willingness,' I believe, is merely the determination to take the steps that others have taken to attain and maintain their sobriety. To this end, the '<i>How It Works</i>' reading specifically notes that "(i)f you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps." That includes admitting to one's self that you are alcoholic, to believe (or, at least, be <i>willing</i> to believe) that there is a Power greater than one's self which can restore you to sanity, making the decision to turn one's will and one's life over to the Power of the God of your understanding, and then proceeding with the moral inventory and amends making process laid out in the Twelve Steps. Those who are unwilling, are those who do not want what we have, and thus "are not ready" to work the Twelve Steps . . . at least <i>yet</i>. Their sobriety, if any, is typically tenuous, precarious and desperately uncomfortable. They are in real danger.<br />
<br />
At a more fundamental level, an act of one's will is a decision to do something, in this instance to live life one's life on a spiritual basis. (At page 83 of the 'Big Book, we read: "The spiritual life is not a theory. <i>We have to live it</i>." Why? Because life is inherently spiritual. It was the late great spiritual teacher, Krishnamurti, who observed: "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, but spiritual beings having a human experience.") And living one's life on a spiritual basis requires practice - a practice that starts with Step Three.<br />
<br />
"Practicing Step Three," we read in the <i>Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i>, "is like the opening of a door which to all appearances is still locked and closed. All we need is a key, and the decision to swing the door open. There is only one key, and it is called willingness." This, as above, signifies our decision to take the Twelve Steps in order to walk through that locked door and live a spiritual life.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-r7c0m4IOBSc/T4cQcNKaBeI/AAAAAAAABoQ/BDaNk-PkNZk/s1600/serenityprayer.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-r7c0m4IOBSc/T4cQcNKaBeI/AAAAAAAABoQ/BDaNk-PkNZk/s320/serenityprayer.png" width="229" /></a></div>"Once we have come into agreement with (the steps to be taken)," we read, "it is really easy to begin the practice of Step Three. <i>In all times of emotional disturbance or indecision</i>," (emphasis added), "we can pause, ask for quiet, and in the stillness simply say: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Thy will, not mine, be done."<br />
<br />
The serenity, courage and wisdom we ask for are only truly available to us when we effect (or re-effect) a conscious contact with the God of our understanding; that is, when we are released from our ordinary ego-consciousnesss, and thus attain our higher God-consciousness. (The human ego is, by its nature, troubled, frightened and lost, the very antithesis to the serenity, courage and wisdom of higher consciousness.) Dissecting the power of this Serenity Prayer, we can observe that:<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;"><li>'Serenity' is the nature of our Being when we shed ordinary, self-consciousness/ego-consciousness and effect a conscious contact with our higher nature - i.e., with God.</li>
<li>'Courage' (from the Latin '<i>cour</i>,' meaning heart) is to change the only thing we can in any instance - that is, to deepen the level of our consciousness. Symbolically it is to shift the center of our consciousness and thinking from the head/ego and its "painful inner dialogue," to the heart/soul (or deeper seat of consciousness) wherein there is a total acceptance of people, circumstances and the world exactly as they are in this instant of time.</li>
<li>'Wisdom' is to know, from experience, that there are two wholly different realities within us. One is the ego - <i>i.e.</i>, the 'self' or 'self-consciousness - which lies at the root cause of our alcoholic addiction, the reality which we sought to escape from through the use of alcohol and/or drugs. The other is our authentic Being, wherein we are wholly at one (<i>i.e.</i>, in communion) with God.</li>
</ul><div style="text-align: left;">In his last public talk, Dr. Bob pointed to the "absolute necessity" of the teachings that he and Bill W. derived from the Beatitudes, First Corinthians 13, and the Book of James. A close reading of the latter identifies the problem of not just alcoholic addicts, but of all men and women: </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">"<i>A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways</i>." (James 1:8)</div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>So long as we respond to life and act on the basis of our egoic, rather than God-conscious, thinking. We are apt to think, say and do almost anything. Our old ego-centric thinking and ideas will always be prone to lead us back into active addiction. Thus, we must be willing to work the Twelve Steps in order to deflate the ego "at depth." Nothing changes - "the result is <i>nil</i>" - unless we let go of our old ideas and our habitual ego-consciousness.</li>
</ul> "<i>Draw near to God, and God will draw near to you. Wash clean your hands ye sinners. Purify your hearts ye double-minded.</i>" (James 4:8)<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;"><li>"We found that Great Reality deep down within us," we read at Page 55 of the 'Big Book.' Indeed, we are told, "(i)n the last analysis it is only there it may be found." When we shift from the self-consciousness and egoic thinking of our separated "self" to the essence of our Being, we effect a conscious contact with our Higher Power; that is, God "draws near" to us. </li>
<li>In Steps Four through Step Nine, and again in Step Ten, we face and face down our narrow "self" and, where possible, we right the wrongs which occurred (or occur) as a result of what is really a soul sickness. Figuratively, we 'wash our hands' and 'clean house.'</li>
<li>Through prayer and, importantly, through meditation we "purify (our) hearts," letting go of our fear-based egoic consciousness in order to effect God-consciousness. In doing so, we increasingly live a single-minded spiritual life, rather than the unpredictable and injurious life of "the double-minded."</li>
</ul>How does it work? It works through "ego-deflation at depth." It works by awakening to the spiritual nature of our Being and the world we live in. It works by turning our will and our lives over ot the care of God <i>as we understand</i> Him. It works by fearlessly facing the proposition that "God is either everything, or He is nothing." God either is, or is not, <br />
<br />
What is <i>our choice</i> to be? <br />
<br />
It works by trusting God, cleaning house, and helping others . . . . Namaste!</div>Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-5217392789565745882012-04-09T19:43:00.000-04:002012-04-09T19:43:43.979-04:00Fear and Expectations<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RAhR-JZF4h8/T4NwhijWDHI/AAAAAAAABlU/MeAvofoUVzc/s1600/fear.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RAhR-JZF4h8/T4NwhijWDHI/AAAAAAAABlU/MeAvofoUVzc/s320/fear.png" width="256" /></a></div>Fear - primarily fear that we will lose something we have, or will fail to get something we desire - is "the chief activator" of all our defects of character. Yet, there is nothing objective that we need fear. It is entirely an inner, subjective phenomenon. That is, we are the manufacturers of our own anxieties, oftentimes needless worries that are fueled by the <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2012/03/expectations-acceptance-and-serenity.html">expectations</a> we have about how we, the world, and the people that surround us will perform.<br />
<br />
"<i>We expect what we have known</i>," a learned psychiatrist once told me. "<i>And, then, we turn around and fear what we expect</i>." In this way we forge a seemingly hostile world from the potential beauty that surrounds us. <br />
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Steps Four through Step Nine are designed to let us look objectively at what has shaped us, at the resentments, fears and sex experiences that have warped our perceptions of the world and its denizens, at the expectations we have formed about how life will necessarily unfold based upon our past experiences, and at how acute self-consciousness and unwarranted fears have crippled us. Armed with insights into what we have thought and done in response to our perceived resentments, fears and sex conduct we are enabled to walk through life on a new basis, correcting our wrongs as they arise when we inevitably fall short of our ideals.<br />
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The 'Big Book' of <i>Alcoholics Anonymous </i>(at page 75) highlights the experiential change we witness in our attitudes and in our being as our existential fears subside upon completion of the Fifth Step, and as we move forward in our task of clearing away the past's wreckage and drawing nearer to the God of our own understanding:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">" . . . (W)e are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. <i>We may have had certain spirit</i><i>ual beliefs, but now we begin to have a <a href="http://recoverytable.blogspot.ca/2011/10/higher-consciousness-and-new-state-of.html">spiritual experience</a></i>. (Emphasis added.)</blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1GHreY7txRU/T4Nxy4DTBeI/AAAAAAAABl0/P_KF5Tzo0fY/s1600/riverValley.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="185" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1GHreY7txRU/T4Nxy4DTBeI/AAAAAAAABl0/P_KF5Tzo0fY/s200/riverValley.png" width="200" /></a></div>No longer, I might add, need we be ruled by the fearful expectations we have built up over time based upon our past lives, particularly our lives in active addiction. Rather, we become inspired by the possibilities inherent in our new lives.<br />
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"The great fact," after completing the Steps, "is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward God's universe. The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves."<br />
<div style="text-align: left;"><blockquote class="tr_bq">- <i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>, page 25.</blockquote></div></div>Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8749057940065570973.post-65443072189281870032012-04-08T18:13:00.000-04:002012-04-08T18:13:18.175-04:00Guilty . . . With An Explanation???<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LH95s5BNzpM/T4IKIQgn3mI/AAAAAAAABkk/qpRvTzgYgfQ/s1600/gavel1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LH95s5BNzpM/T4IKIQgn3mI/AAAAAAAABkk/qpRvTzgYgfQ/s1600/gavel1.png" /></a></div>In criminal law, there is no such thing as pleading guilty "<i>with an explanation</i>." One is either innocent or guilty. Yet how often in our thinking do we rationalize or justify past behaviours we are uncomfortable with by saying: "Yes, I did that, but I was justified in my actions"? Indeed, it is for this reason that we read in the <i>Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions</i> (at page 90) that anger - even so-called "<i>justified</i>" anger - "ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it."<br />
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We know that our resentments (<i>i.e.</i>, the built-up or sustained anger which we hold over time), quite literally, have the power to kill us. And, as it is with anger, so too it is with guilt, shame and remorse, <i>etc</i>. If we do not face and deal with the residual feelings of guilt, shame and remorse which we feel for our past and/or current actions, these too have the power to drive the alcoholic addict back to booze and or drugs. Unremedied guilt, like "justified anger," is thus an ego-feeding proposition, a "dubious luxury" that we can no longer afford.<br />
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Guilt is essentially an unexpressed fear that our past behaviours will be revealed for all to see, and that named or unnamed "others" will judge us by (and reject us for) such past actions - many of which (at least initially) were taken when we were in the grips of our addiction. Thankfully, in Steps Four through Step Nine we are enabled to face and address past actions that now produce such fears of discovery. And, in Step Ten, we are enabled to proactively face and make amends for any present missteps that could later develop into powerful and dangerous guilt complexes.<br />
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By admitting and making amends for our past and current misbehaviour, we rob the ego - that "punishing inner dialogue" which Bill W. so ably describes in the <i>Twelve & Twelve</i> - of much of the raw fuel which it consumes in order to hold sway over us.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XQ5TH4FyhKI/T4IKnYQYY8I/AAAAAAAABks/vX2hPWO58o0/s1600/straightjacket.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XQ5TH4FyhKI/T4IKnYQYY8I/AAAAAAAABks/vX2hPWO58o0/s320/straightjacket.png" width="244" /></a></div>The "spiritual awakening" which we seek in order to relieve us of our alcoholic addiction is essentially a matter of consciousness, a matter of slipping the bonds of our limited self or egoic-consciousness in order to effect an inner "God-consciousness" <i>- i.e.</i>, a "conscious contact" with the God of our understanding: see the "Spiritual Experience" appendix at pages 567-568 in the 4th Editions of <i>Alcoholics Anonymous</i>. Thus, in the Third Step Prayer, set out at page 63 of the "Big Book," we pray to be relieved of the powerful and dangerous "bondage of self."<br />
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In criminal law, the defendant who elects to plead guilty must do so without reservations or explanations, no matter how powerful they may be. There is no such plea of "guilty with an explanation." It is only in the sentencing phase of the trial, after wrongdoing has been established by his or her admission of guilt, that the defendant may address such factors that may (or may not) mitigate or explain the wrong committed.<br />
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So, too, in the case of the alcoholic addict an admission of our wrong thinking and wrongdoings must precede the amends we make and the redemption we seek; for it is through the admission of our wrongs in our initial and continuing moral inventories, and in making amends for such wrongs where possible (<i>i.e.,</i> when doing so does not harm others), that we address the root cause, rather than the symptoms, of our alcoholic addiction - the acute self-consciousness and ego-centric thinking we had seemingly escaped from by using booze and/or drugs.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2SIsq9A3yrA/T4ILUudcozI/AAAAAAAABlE/iogBAPqt-S0/s1600/sun+and+clouds.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2SIsq9A3yrA/T4ILUudcozI/AAAAAAAABlE/iogBAPqt-S0/s1600/sun+and+clouds.png" /></a></div>We must freely admit our wrongdoings and then make amends for them, where possible, if we are to overcome the powerful grip of the human ego, a grip that is only strengthened by the feelings of guilt, shame and remorse that we continue to harbour. Like anger, such powerful feelings are best left to those "better qualified" to handle them, for unresolved they are likely to lead us back into the throes of our active addiction, or worse. <br />
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Thus, it is by facing and making amends for our wrong actions, rather than by trying to explain away (mostly to ourselves) the guilt and shame we feel in light of such actions, that we are freed from "the wreckage of our past." It is by doing so that we are cut loose from (or, at least, we loosen) the ties of our "old ideas, emotions and attitudes," the mental constructs which seemingly grip us so irrevocably in the throes of our egoic, smaller selves. And, it is by doing so, that we finally awaken to at least the possibility of our emergence into what Bill W. so aptly described as "the sunlight of the Spirit."<br />
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If we balk from examining our resentments, fears and conduct, we will inevitably remain in the sway of our own unremedied self, and it will be this smaller self (<i>i.e.</i>, the false self of the human ego) that will continue to act as our prosecutor, judge, jury, jailer and (potentially) executor.</div>Bhuddinihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04582636577048530680noreply@blogger.com0