The Practice of Spiritual Awakening

"Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer."

Alcoholics Anonymous, page 87.

WARNING: This blog entry (and the attached video by Rev. Ted Nottingham) may be somewhat confusing to those readers who may not have completed the Twelve Steps, or those among us who do not seriously seek, or have let up on our efforts, to "improve our conscious contact with God." 

Please remember: "Keep an Open Mind."

"Do not conform any longer to the world," St. Paul advised, "but be transformed by the renewal of your mind." (Rom. 12:2) And what is "renewal" if it is not "recovery" - a "recovery" which is at the heart of A.A's program of action and, indeed, which is at the heart of all the world's great religious and wisdom traditions?

"Religion," notes Rev. Nottingham  (real 'inner religious' transformation, as opposed to the too-often insignificant and superficial trappings and practices of a mere 'outer religion'), "means to relink or reconnect with Spirit." In the following video, in which he introduces "a perennial teaching, timeless and universal, of spiritual transformation," Nottingham surveys a number of little known spiritual teachings and teachers - everything from Orthodox Christianity to Zen Buddhism - with an emphasis on "The Fourth Way" teachings of G.I. Gurdjieff and P.D. Ouspensky.

These teachings may prove invaluable to those of us in recovery who are constantly trying to expand and deepen our spiritual recovery - even though, perhaps, there are few enough amongst us who wish or are willing to go to the deeper depths which may be available through outside traditions. But, "keep an open mind", as there are hidden, esoteric depths to every tradition, and with each new depth we experience, a new and further depth awaits just beyond.

As Ouspensky observed:

"The evolution of human consciousness is a question of personal efforts and is therefore a rare exception amongst human beings. . . . Most people simply do not want to awaken. To become a different being we must want it greatly, and over many years. Without the necessary efforts we will not evolve. Moreover, we must acquire qualities we may believe we already possess, but in fact do not."

"The attainment of higher levels of consciousness," says Nottingham, "is closely related to certain religious practices which we find in all cultures, such as meditation and contemplation. Yet," he notes, "(t)hese are difficult paths to tread because our attention is always being caught by the ceaseless chattering going on in our heads." Nonetheless, he points out, "(i)t is possible to become receptive to a state of pure consciousness without thought, where truth is revealed to us directly without words."




"Awakening from the sleep of a carnal life, an externally-driven life, does not happen automatically," Nottingham observes, "it requires directed attention and sincere, repeated efforts. . . . You will not (however) make the effort to awaken," he notes, "if you do not know you are asleep. We have to realize our captivity before it can occur to us to escape from it."


Further helpful videos are available on Ted Nottingham's Youtube channel, and his books (as well as those of his wife, Rebecca Nottingham, and certain of their valuable translations) are available online. Rev. Nottingham also publishes a free weekly podcast available on PodOmatic.com.

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At the end of the above video, Rev. Nottingham recommends the following practices as tools for attaining spiritual awakening and deepening our spiritual experience:

Tools and Practices for Spiritual Development

• Recognize the sleep of unawareness. These things keep us asleep:
• Being unaware that we are asleep.
• Being unaware that we can choose to be awake.
• Not choosing it.
• Presuming that we are already fully aware.
• Believing that we are already good.
• Negative emotions and our attachment to them.
• Justifying our negative emotions.
• Automatic habits.
• Constant inner talking.
• Fear of change.
• Spiritual laziness.
• Allowing ourselves to be swept up in the current of our responses to life.
• Fearful emotions:
• insecurity,
• embarrassment,
• impatience,
• self-pity,
• dread, anxiety, worry, nervousness,
• criticizing,
• hopelessness,
• depression, despair, and jealousy.

• Discipline your mind to be aware.

• Stop and silence negative thoughts and negative emotions.

• Silence justifications. Never accept your justifications for your negative emotions.

• Don't believe fear. Fear opposes faith.

• Don't consent to anger. Angry emotions have violence in them.

• Remember why you are choosing to overcome your anger. 
• It is unhealthy physically, mentally and spiritually.
• It wastes your energy and life force.
• It never produces goodness.
• To not allow yourself to be under the dominion of changing circumstances.
• To choose to act, not just react to life.
• To become more than only the result of what has done to you.

• Practice not criticizing, not objecting, not exerting or expressing your opinions and attitudes.

• Silence negative inner talking.

• Think of scale and relativity, your universal significance and what is really important.

• For a moment, stand outside of the stream of events and your responses.
• Sense your real self above them and outside them.
• Become aware of your unique individuality and become aware of your relative insignificance.
• Become aware of your connectedness with all things.

• Quiet your mind by thinking about what is good and worthy and beautiful.

• Stop thinking about yourself and how you feel, and what you like and what you don't like, and  whether you approve or not of every person and event.

• Consciously give your attention and time to whatever good things inspire you.

• Realize and accept that you alone are responsible for all of your actions and their consequences in the world.

• Accept not being understood.

• Accept injustice, judgment, condemnation, slander, gossip, and your insufficiency . . . and return good for evil, forgiveness for offense.

• Stop complaining. It is noisy and there is no "Thy will be done" in it.

• Stop taking offense. Humility is not offendable.

• Release your requirements that other people be how you think they should be.

• Release your expectations of life and circumstances and your need to be satisfied by them.

•  Live the fruits of the spirit whether you are satisfied or not.

• Stop thinking that you deserve better. No one deserves anything.

•  Give up having to have the last word.

• Don't worry about the impression you make on others.

• Sacrifice your need to be right.

• Don't speak negatively about any other person.

• Refuse to listen to, believe, or participate in gossip.

• Give up being impatient. It is the vanity of wanting your will now over God's timing.

• Stop thinking about what other people are thinking about you.

• Refuse to accept your justifications for acting badly.

•  Practice being scrupulously honest with yourself and other people.

• Whatever you do, do it to please God. Who else do you have to impress?

• Strive for purity of heart. 
• In purity you will find peace and humility. 
• In humility you will find freedom, authenticity, and serenity.

Process for Spiritual Development

• Aim: Loving God, goodness, purity, servanthood.

• Acquire knowledge to know what you must do to live out your aim.
• Know thyself and know what to do about thyself.

• Direct your attention to  become aware of what is going on inside you, in your thoughts and emotions.

• Observe yourself with:
• scathing honesty,
• perseverance,
• integrity and patience.

• Use discernment to recognize how and when  you are outside God's will which is always good.

• Practice STOP toward your negative thoughts and feelings.
• Practice silence toward them one at a time.

• Create a separation between your authentic self and your automatic habits of thoughts, feelings, attitudes and opinions.

•  Choose what you consent to think, feel and do.

• Choose goodness before gratification -- what you know to be good rather than what feels good.

• Sacrifice, give up, your negative emotions. Don't condemn yourself for them. Change them.

• Do not allow yourself to express negative emotions out loud.

• Make yourself passive to your automatic reactions.

• Make your internal responses quiet so that you can act with intentionality.

• Release your requirements of life, people and circumstances.

• Release your desire for satisfaction.

• Willingly bear your necessary suffering, including all the efforts you must make to develop spiritual maturity and obedience.

Remember that God's nature is one thing and that is perfect Goodness.

". . . Any Lengths"

"His craving for alcohol was the equivalent on a low level of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness, in medieval terms: union with God."

Letter from Carl Jung to Bill Wilson, dated January 31, 1961, discussing the recovery of Rolland H. from alcoholic addiction using the Oxford Groups' "word-of-mouth" spiritual program that was passed from Rolland to Ebby T., and on to Bill W.

In the "How It Works" reading, which is customarily read at many A.A. meetings, we hear: "If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it - then you are ready to take certain steps." (Emphasis added.) Reflecting on the early years of sobriety, I ask myself: Was I willing to go to "any lengths?" The answer is quite clearly: "No!" While I didn't drink (or use), joined a group, got a sponsor, did an inventory, shared it and made amends etc., I would not, and did not, pray and meditate on a consistent basis, nor did I give these vital practices any more than a surface trial.

In the "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions" (at pp. 39-40) we read: "More sobriety brought about by the admission of alcoholism and by attendance at a few meeting is very good indeed, but it is bound to be a far cry from permanent sobriety and a contented, useful life." And, how true that ignored warning turned out to be for me! If you knew me at five years sober, you would likely have said: "Yes! He's got it." But by roughly the time I was fifteen years sober, having achieved much in the worldly sense of life - profession, money, prestige, family and home, etc. - not only was I profoundly discontented and virtually useless to friends, family and the community, but my sobriety and my very life were in grave peril. The reason? I had neglected the clear warning in the 'Big Book' (at p. 85) that "(w)e are not cured of our alcoholism" but, rather, "(w)hat we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition."

I was an extremely fortunate man, however. A good friend from early sobriety reached out to me when he found out my life had crumbled beneath me due to what was most clearly a case of being "dry" rather than mentally and spiritually "sober." (Only half-jokingly, I refer to it as being a period of "stark raving sobriety.") Additionally, a man who had been fifteen years years sober and then drank, but who was then fifteen years sober once again, saw that I was truly suffering and reached out to sponsor me. Although he was even then dying of cancer, he took me through the Steps and illustrated to me how and what needed to be done if I, too, was to truly recover from, by then, "a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body."

Even more importantly, as it turned out, was another old-timer who recognized my suffering and took me once again through the 'Big Book, showing me what it was that I needed - a power greater than my own narrow, egoic "self" - and where to find it. The "how" of establishing such a relationship with "a Power greater than myself" - i.e., "how" to pray and meditate effectively - was, in turn, shown to me, albeit reluctantly at first, by a third old-timer steeped in decades of meditative practice.

It is on the all-important page 55 of the 'Big Book' that we are told where to seek and find a "God of our own understanding."

". . . (D)eep down in every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form it is there. . . . We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis, it is only there that He may be found." (Emphasis added.)

Collectively and individually, these gentlemen showed me how to access that "unsuspected inner resource" which is discussed in the Spiritual Experience appendix to the 'Big Book.' Yet, how difficult it is to establish and maintain an effective practice of meditation and prayer, how difficult to truly practice Step Eleven.

"We are not saints," it is true. But how willing are each of us "to grow along spiritual lines"? What "lengths" are each of willing to go to? Is it, indeed, "any length." (Emphasis added.)

For myself, the question is: Am I seeking enlightenment? For the possibility of attaining an absorbed consciousness anchored in the Ground of Being is spoken of in each of the world's great spiritual traditions, whether it is called liberation, enlightenment, mystic union, moksha, nirvana, or more plainly, as Dr. Jung  phrased it "union with God."

"There is a direct linkage among self-examination, meditation, and prayer. Taken separately, these practices can bring much relief and benefit. But when they are logically related and interwoven, the result is an unshakeable foundation for life, now and then we may be granted a glimpse of that ultimate reality which is God's kingdom."

(Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 98.)

The question thus remains for each of us: Am I truly "willing to go to any lengths" and to endure the rigours of the necessary spiritual disciplines to gain relief and break the bondage of self which is the hallmark of the ordinary human condition? Remember the caution we hear so often: "half measures availed us nothing." I found it to be was so with me.

Know Thyself - Know Peace

"While the purpose of making restitution to others is paramount, it is equally necessary that we extricate from an examination of our personal relations every bit of information about ourselves and our fundamental difficulties that we can. Since defective relations with other human beings have nearly always been the immediate cause of our woes, including our alcoholism no field of investigation could yield more satisfying and valuable rewards than this one. Calm, thoughtful reflection upon personal relations can deepen our insight. We can go far beyond those things which were superficially wrong with us, to see those flaws which were basic, flaws which sometimes were responsible for the whole pattern of our lives. Thoroughness, we have found, will pay - and pay handsomely."

-- The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 80 --

The essential problem of the alcoholic addict, is his or her identification with a seemingly separate sense of "self" (i.e., the human "ego"). Over and over in the 'Big Book' of Alcoholics Anonymous we read various iterations of the simple fact that "selfishness, self-centeredness . . . is the root of our problem." As "actors" in the drama of life we find that we have been, like so-called "normal folks," quite egocentric.

In active addiction the alcoholic addict essentially drinks and or uses drugs to get out of his or her "self." Thus, in recovery he or she must find means - spiritual means, at that - to find real and lasting relief from the "punishing inner dialogue" of the "ego" (i.e., relief from the separated "self"), a sense of relief that seemed to come so readily, if temporarily, from booze or drugs while they still worked for us.

We do not, as too many are mistakenly told, first make amends to ourselves in order to achieve this. Rather, we make a list of all those we have harmed in order to make amends to them, wherever and whenever possible. It is in making restitution to these people that we overcome the resentments, remorse and regrets that feed the inner dialogue of "self." With this accomplished, we can more deeply and easily see how the desires and fears that fueled such resentments, remorse and regrets distorted our character. "Calm, thoughtful reflection upon personal relations" will, indeed, "deepen our insight" into these underlying flaws.

Over the entrance to the Temple of the Oracle of Delphi, the most sacred site in Ancient Egypt, were chiselled the words "Know Thyself." Since "self" in its many different guises is the root cause of our problems, this ages-old advice remains apt.

We see in constructing our resentments list how the actions of others have impinged on our physical security, emotional security, personal relationships and sex relations. We have seen how such impingements on our basic desires have engendered great fears. And, we have also taken stock of the role we played in the events that led to such resentments.

Making restitution for our wrongful actions leaves us free to work on the self-centered fears and selfish desires that have warped our character. We come to know our lower "selves" and in knowingly turning our lives over to the care of a Power greater than our lower "selves" - i.e., to the "God of our own understanding" - we come to know a deeper Self beyond the ego. It is in that knowledge that we come to know our own inner divinity, that we come to know that we have never actually been separated from others or from God, and that we come to know peace.

To "Know Thyself" is, thus, in essence, to experience God-consciousness and to know God. And, in reestablishing and improving our conscious contact with "the God of our own understanding" we are, in effect, "reborn."

Overcoming the Paradox of "Self"

Anyone familiar with 12 Step living has undoubtedly noted the many paradoxical concepts that underlie it: the need to surrender in order to win, coming to A.A, because of our drinking only to find out that drinking is not the problem but a symptom of the problem, how sharing our story with another helps us irrespective of whether it helps the other, etc.

Nowhere are the deep paradoxes underlying our program more apparent, however, than they are when we come to believe "in a Power greater than ourselves" only to find "the Great Reality deep down within us." Solving this "paradox of the self" is, I believe, the key that unlocks our understanding of the 12 Steps, and encourages us in our quest to attain and then "improve our conscious contact with God as we (understand) Him."

Merriam-Webster's dictionary has two germane definitions of "self" that lie at the heart of this paradox. Most commonly, "self" is defined as "the entire person of an individual." Secondarily, it is defined as "the union of elements (as body, emotions, thoughts, and sensations) that constitute the individuality and identity of a person." It is this latter definition, rather than the former and more common meaning, that is being used when we talk of "self" in reference to the 12 Steps; a definition that is consistent with the way that the concept of "ego" is also used in the 'Big Book' of Alcoholics Anonymous, not as "pride" but as "the self, especially as contrasted with another self or the world." (The Oxford English Dictionary, has another, more helpful definition of "ego," defining it as "the part of the mind that reacts to reality and has a sense of individuality.")

I suspect that many newcomers (and even old-timers) are somewhat stymied in their spiritual development, as I was, because of this underlying confusion as to what is meant when Step Two talks "about a Power greater than ourselves." It sounds like this Power is something exterior to us, rather than a Power that is actually within us, albeit a Power which is obscured by the self/ego and the "calamity. pomp and worship of other things" that are the thought stuff of the self/ego complex.

The 'Big Book' explicitly states (at page 45) that "lack of power" was our dilemma, and that we need "to find a power by which we could live, and that it had to be a Power greater than ourselves." Then it states that "how" and "where" to find such a Power is "exactly" what the 'Big Book' is all about. The "how," I put to you, is through taking the 12 Steps and applying them to one's life, while the "where" is deep down within one's being. In other words, we are not looking externally for a "God of our own understanding," but internally.

Consider the following passage taken from the middle paragraphs from page 55 of the 'Big Book':

". . . (D)eep down in every man, woman and child, is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. . . . Sometimes we had to search fearlessly, but He was there. He was as much a fact as we were. We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that he may be found."

Consider, also, if you will, the following passage taken from Appendix II of the 'Big Book' (i.e., the Spiritual Experience appendix):

"With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves. Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience. Our more religious members call it "God-consciousness."" (Emphasis added.)

From the above, it should be clear that we are not looking for some entity that is wholly exterior to us, but rather for a broad yet heretofore hidden aspect of our very being, that wholeness of our being beyond the limited and limiting egoic self which is co-extensive with God.

At page 53 of the 'Big Book' we are shown how "crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that God is everything or else he is nothing. God either is, or He isn't."

By looking outside of our being, instead of looking at our being beneath the limiting self of the ego, we are in essence saying that God is not everything. We exclude ourselves from God and create a false duality that cannot be overcome. It is only in looking deep within our being (mainly through meditation, but also through self-examination and prayer) that we find our own God-consciousness, and come to the realization that we are an integral component of all that is.

And by acting in accordance with - and from the place of - this newfound God-consciousness, we are finally able to rightly align ourselves with the world and its inhabitants, and to overcome the necessary suffering caused by the self/ego complex and thinking - a feeling and a feat we had only been previously able to do under the influence of booze and/or drugs when, and if, they still worked for us.

Dealing with Fear: "Face Everything and Avoid Nothing"

"(Fear) was an evil, corroding thread; the fabric or our existence was shot through with it."

-- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 67 --

"The achievement of freedom from fear," wrote Bill W., "is a lifetime undertaking, one that can never be wholly completed. When under heavy attack, acute illness, or in other conditions of serious insecurity, we shall all react, well or badly, as the case may be. Only the vainglorious claim perfect freedom from fear, though their very grandiosity is really rooted in the fears they have temporarily forgotten."

"Therefore," he observed, "the problem of resolving fear has two aspects. We shall have to try for all the freedom of fear that is possible for us to attain. Then we shall need to find both the courage and the grace to deal constructively with whatever fear remains. Trying to understand our fears, and the fears of others, is but a first step. The larger question is how, and where, we go from there."

[Bill W., January 1962 Grapevine article.]

There are two widely repeated acronyms for the word "fear" that one often hears: "Face everything and recover," or, "F**k everything and run," The first, is of course, the spiritual solution to the fears that underlie and are prone to activate our character defects, while the second is the way that so often leads to a relapse into addictive behavior. "The first requirement of spirituality is courage," Gandhi observed. "A coward can never be moral." We must, therefore, uncover and encounter our fears, as while they remain active within us, we will inevitably have to face them.

Spiritual teacher, Andrew Cohen, observes that "facing everything, and avoiding nothing," one of the central tenets of leading an enlightened life, "is the ultimate form of spiritual practice." The human ego - our egocentric smaller "self" - is a false identity that is primarily created by the fears and desires that we identify as being central to the very essence of our being. It is a false and powerless construct, however, as we find "the Great Reality deep down within us." (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 55.) Listing, facing, and ultimately facing down our fears whenever and wherever they crop up is, thus, an essential requirement of attaining and maintaining our sobriety, and thereafter finding out just 'who' and 'what' we are - what Cohen calls "the authentic self" as opposed to "the ego."

"Only an individual who truly wants to be free will be prepared to abandon the pretense of the ego and to see things as they are," Cohen notes. "Only one who strives for transparency, authenticity, and emptiness of self, and who is deeply motivated by the impulse to evolve, is going to be able to face reality in this way. Anyone else, in the end, will find that they are too invested in maintaining the pretense of a separate self to even begin to practice (facing everything and avoiding nothing) in earnest."

"But," he notes, "as we begin to identify less and less with the fears and desires of the ego and more and more with the evolutionary passion of the authentic self, we will experience less fear, hesitation, and resistance to seeing what is true. We will find the strength and the moral courage to be able to bear whatever we need to bear in order to face everything, and avoid nothing, at all times, in all places, under all circumstances. Why? Because we want to be free more than anything else. "                                                                   [www.andrewcohen.org/teachings/face-everything.asp]

This, I believe, is thus the answer to Bill's larger question of "how and where to go" after the recognition and listing of our fears. It is where our fears - and their flipsides of desire - are burnt up in the crucible of our higher God-consciousness and our faith in "a Power greater than ourselves," that is, our self-centered egos.

"In my own case," Bill observed, "the foundation stone of freedom from fear is faith: a faith that, despite all worldly appearances to the contrary, causes me to believe that I live in a universe that makes sense. To me, this means a belief in a Creator who is all power, justice and love; a God who intends for me a purpose, a meaning and a destiny to grow, however little and halting, towards his own image and likeness." A God, he might add, that embraces, and is embraced by, our "authentic selves."

Letting Go of Anger and Emotional Disturbances

"It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also. But are there no exceptions to this rule? what about "justifiable" anger? If somebody cheats us, aren't we entitled to be mad? Can't we be properly anger with self-righteous folk? For us of A.A. these are dangerous exceptions. We have found that justified anger ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it."

-- The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 90 --

Why this "spiritual axiom?" Is it not because anger, and particularly "justified" anger, is inimical to our spiritual health and is always poised to delver us back into "the bondage of self" which lies at the root of our problem?

Each time we are "disturbed" - whether by anger, greed, jealousy lust, or some other emotion - it is a sure sign that we have a Step One problem; that is, we are right in there, again, trying to manage our lives (and the people in our lives) in a futile search for self-satisfaction and ego-gratification. In the famous passage on acceptance (at page 417 of the 'Big Book' of Alcoholics Anonymous), we read that:

"When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place thing or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake." (Emphasis added.)

Notice that in both these passages we are talking of being "disturbed."  Identifying and recognizing when, in fact, we are disturbed is thus the key to dealing with an ever-varying world that is beyond our capacity (or calling) to manage and control. The solution to this Step One problem thus lies in the renewed application of Step Three. When we realize that we are disturbed, we need to act on our decision "to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God" as we understand Him. But how should we act in the face of such disturbances? Fortunately, we have instructions on what to do in such instances.

"(I)t is really easy to being the practice of Step Three," we read. "In all times of emotional disturbance or indecision, we can pause, ask for quiet, and in the stillness simply say: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Thy will, not mine, be done.""

[The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pp. 40-41.]

There is nothing we can "change" in an instant other than our attitude - i.e., the level of our consciousness and thought. Thus, when disturbed we need to immediately move from the egoic resistance to life's circumstances, to higher consciousness and an acceptive, radical non-resistance to what is. ("To argue with 'what is' is insanity," said the philosopher-Emperor, Marcus Aurelius, "yet the thoughtless cannot resist doing so.")

Next, we must have the "courage" - which may only be found beyond the fear-based ego - to make the switch from egocentric to God-centric consciousness. Here, we must "take heart," which is the fundamental meaning of 'courage', a word that comes from the French and Latin word for 'heart' - 'cour.' ("Fearlessness," Gandhi observed, "is the first requirement of spirituality. A coward can never be moral.")

Lastly, we must know "the difference" between what we can and cannot change at the moment we are disturbed. It is, thus, essential that we know there is the small "self" of ego-consciousness, and the higher "Self" of God-consciousness, and that there is a vast different to the thought processes and emotional reactions of both states. For it is only in this latter 'self-less' state that we can "accept that person, place, thing, or situation" which disturbs us "as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment."

At Step Three in the 'Big Book' we read:

"This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom."

"When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new Employer. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter. We were reborn."

 Thus, if we ignore the "spiritual axiom" that in all instances of emotional disturbance it is we who are upset, all this falls away, and we are once again assuming sole responsibility to manage and direct a life which will immediately and rapidly spiral out of all control, resulting in emotional outbursts and actions we will later regret and have to make amends for - or it may result in much, much worse.

Chasing Our Desires

Chasing our desires is like blindly chasing dragons. Unexpectedly, they turn on us and we get burnt. Moreover, spiritually it is an impossibility to fulfill our desires, as for every desire or demand that we satisfy, new desires will always arise to take their place. Thus, the alcoholic addict in recovery is threatened as much by his or her success in seemingly conquering life, as he or she ever was by active addiction. The stories of countless A.A.'s contained within the 'Big Book' of Alcoholics Anonymous and within the confines of our meeting rooms makes clear that, both before and after our active addiction, life remains unmanageable.

The basic problem with our seeking to fulfill what seem to be natural desires by our own means is that, as it so ably expressed in The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions: "Instead of regarding our material desires as the means by which we could live and function as human beings, we (take) these satisfactions to be the final end and aim of life."

[The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 71.]

Mistaking the drives created by our desires in such a manner makes for an obsessive compulsion in the ego to see that all our desires are met, with the fear that they will not be met triggering our acting out in accordance with our character defects in a vain effort to satisfy the unsatisfiable. "The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear," we are reminded, "primarily fear that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get something we demanded."

[The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 76.]

"Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands," The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions continues, "we were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration. Therefore, no peace was to be had unless we could find a means of reducing these demands."

Since we cannot long stand being in a disturbed and frustrated state - particularly if there seems to be nothing more we should want - finding an inner peace devoid of further desires and their emotionally crippling demands is an imperative if we are to survive our own defects of character.

"Since most of us are born with an abundance of natural desires," Bill writes in his Step Six Essay, "it isn't strange that we often let these exceed their intended purpose. When they drive us blindly, or we willfully demand that they supply us with more satisfactions or pleasures than are possible or due us, that is the point at which we depart from the degree of perfection that God wishes for us here on earth. That is the measure of our character defects, or, if you wish, of our sins."

[The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 65.]

Instinctive desires run wild thus create the mental and emotional space for the ego (or our "self-centered thinking") to operate in. And it is these desires that we must let go of, as they invoke within us the old "ideas emotions and attitudes" that will lead us back into addiction. Therefore the question is, having once "turned our will and our life over to the care of God as we understand him," are we willing to do so continually, leaving our will and our lives (along with our insatiable desires) to be managed by a Power greater than our narrow, egoic "selves"? Steps Six, Seven and Eleven are critical for this continual process of self-forgetting.

Putting aside our desires, and seeking to free ourselves of "the bondage of self," we begin to replace the self-seeking of the ego with a conscious contact with God. Completing the Steps, making amends  where possible, continuing to take a daily inventory, and beginning the sincere practice of prayer and meditation makes this possible.

"There is a direct linkage among self-examination, meditation and prayer," we read on page 98 of the The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. "Taken separately, these practices can bring much relief and benefit. But when they are logically related and interwoven, the result is an unshakeable foundation."

By seeking to forego our desires in favor of meditation, prayer and a continuing self-inventory, in this manner, we may be granted what amounts to "a new state of consciousness and being" that is truly desireless and therefore fulfilled in its basic nature.

[The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 107.]

Do Not Simply "Think! Think! Think!"

After the description of the "real alcoholic" in the 'Big Book' of Alcoholics Anonymous, we read that, "the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind rather than in his body."

Is this true? One way of diagnosing the reality of this statement is to take "The Johns Hopkins Twenty Questions: Are You An Alcoholic?" test that was developed in the 1930s by Dr. Robert Seliger, a faculty member in the Department of Psychiatry at the Johns Hopkins Hospital, and substituting the word "thinking" for the word "drinking." (The "Twenty Questions" are often found at AA meetings in pamphlet form, published and distributed by various Intergroup and Local Committees.)

Ready? Don't think too hard about it!

Here goes:

1. Do you lose time from work due to your thinking?
2. Is thinking making your home life unhappy?
3. Do you think because you are shy with other people?
4. Is thinking affecting your reputation?
5. Have you ever felt remorse after thinking?
6. Have you gotten into financial difficulties as a result of your thinking?
7. Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when thinking?
8. Does your thinking make you careless of your family's welfare?
9. Has your ambition decreased since thinking?
10. Do you crave a think at a definite time daily?
11. Do you want to think the next morning?
12. Does thinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
13. Has your efficiency decreased since thinking?
14. Is thinking jeopardizing your job or business?
15. Do you think to escape from worries or troubles?
16. Do you think alone?
17. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of your thinking?
18. Has your physician ever treated you for thinking?
19. Do you think to build up your self-confidence?
20. Have you ever been in a hospital or institution on account of thinking?

• If you have answered YES to any one of the questions, there is a definite warning that you may have an alcoholic mind.
• If you have answered YES to any two, the chances are that you have an alcoholic mind. 
• If you have answered YES to three or more, you definitely have an alcoholic mind. 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

If your answers are in any way similar to mine, you have likely proved to yourself that you have an alcoholic mind. This need be neither alarming nor disheartening, because as you go through the 'Big Book' you will repeatedly see that various manifestations of "self" (i.e., the human ego) are the "basic root of our troubles." ('Big Book,' page 62.)

Moreover, you will find that there is an inner spiritual solution to the basic mental problem of the seemingly ever-present and  insipid "self" consciousness and the destructive drinking that ensues from it. You will find that there is also within you, a higher level of consciousness that is the essence of a Power greater than your "self" that will enable you not only to stop drinking, but to lead a happy and productive life, whatever life circumstances are presented to you.

In the "Spiritual Appendix" to the 'Big Book' (Appendix Two), which was included in the 2nd Edition of the 'Big Book' when there were approximately 150,000 members of Alcoholics Anonymous you will read that: "With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves."

"Most of us," it continues, "think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience. Our more religious members call it God-consciousness."

Our problem - the human ego and its egoic self-consciousness - is a common human dilemma, which the alcoholic addict tries to snuff out by drinking, unlike the non-alcoholic who copes as best he or she can with the suffering caused by the ego. When alcohol (and/or drugs) fails to squelch the punishing inner dialogue of thought, the alcoholic addict has neither a choice in drinking and/or drugging, nor a solution for the suffering caused by his or her thinking. It is then, if he or she is willing to admit to their "innermost self" powerlessness over booze (and/or drugs) and the inability to "manage" life in order to continue, that recovery from alcoholic addiction becomes possible. He or she is then ready to begin the inner journey to a consciousness of Wholeness that will expel the mental obsession to continue drinking and/or using.

Through the process of examining one's "self" (i.e., learning to become conscious of one's egoic self-conscious thinking), practicing meditation and utilizing prayer to expand the depth of one's consciousness and being, one becomes aware of a higher level of consciousness that is available beyond the ordinary arena of one's compulsive and obsessive stream of thought. Think - or, rather, don't think - about that possibility! And do not, simply "Think! Think! Think!"

Laying Aside Prejudice and Contempt

How often have we heard people in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous disparaging, or even verbally attacking, one or another of the world's great religious faiths? Too often, in my view. Particularly, as we are urged in the 'Big Book' of Alcoholics Anonymous (at page 87) to "(b)e quick to see where religious people are right."

The A.A. Preamble, which appears in all material approved by the General Service Conference of Alcoholics Anonymous, makes it clear, and rightly so, that "A.A." is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy; (and) neither endorses nor opposes any causes."

But why if A.A. as a whole does not endorse or oppose any cause, do so many members openly oppose various religious faiths or denominations within the rooms of A.A., particularly, when we are advised time and time again, that there is much of value to be realized from the world's great wisdom traditions? One begins to suspect that attacking the religious faith of others may be a means of justifying their own lack of any kind of faith. (I know this was once true of me.) Thus, in the 'Big Book', we read:

"Instead of regarding ourselves as intelligent agents, spearheads of God's ever advancing Creation, we agnostics and atheists chose to believe that our human intelligence was the last word, the alpha and omega, the beginning and the end of it all. Rather vain of us, wasn't it?"

"We, who have traveled this dubious path, beg you to lay aside prejudices, even against organized religion. We have learned that whatever the human frailties of various faiths may be, those faiths have given purpose and direction to millions. People of faith have a logical idea of what life is about."

[Alcoholics Anonymous, page 49. Emphasis added.]

William James (1842-1910)

After Bill W. had his sudden and profound spiritual awakening, he doubted his sanity. Bill was given some assurance by Dr. Silkworth (he of the "Doctor's Opinion") that he had not gone over the deep end. He was given further assurance of both his sanity and the reality of his spiritual awakening upon reading a copy of the great psychologist, William James' book, The Varieties of Religious Experience. Indeed, The Varieties of Religious Experience this is the only book referenced by name in the 'Big Book' of Alcoholics Anonymous.

In it, Professor James distinguishes between the steeples and bells, incense and vestments, and doctrines and creeds of what he termed "outer religion" and the personal experiential nature of "inner religion" and the inner religious experience witnessed by so many differently circumstanced people down through the ages. (Another, such book, which outlines the inner religious experiences of saints mystics and ordinary folk from a wider variety of the world's great religious and wisdom traditions is "The Perennial Philosophy," which was written by Aldous Huxley, a non-alcoholic friend of Bill Wilson's.)

Indeed, in the Spiritual Experience appendix to the 'Big Book' the personality changes "sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism" are openly referred to as "religious experiences" which are, undoubtedly of the "inner" religious variety described by William James.

And what are the effects of such profound spiritual and religious experiences? Again, in the Spiritual Experience appendix we read:

"With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves."

"Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience. Our more religious members call it 'God-Consciousness.'"

Thus, just A.A. as a whole (and each group) does not and should not endorse or oppose any religion or religious denomination, in keeping with our traditions and stated purpose, there is really no need or place for the individual A.A. member (or N.A. member, etc.) to disparage any or all religious sects or denomination. Doing so, displays only a lack of open-mindedness and tolerance, and a lack of awareness of A.A.'s roots and what its purpose is - i.e., to facilitate within each of us a spiritual or (some would quite correctly say) religious awakening which is sufficient for us to recover from our alcoholic addiction, and to thus lead contented and purposeful lives in sobriety.

We find that no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program," the Spiritual Experience appendix concludes. "Willingness, honesty and open-mindedness are the essential of recovery. But these are indispensable."

Is criticizing any religion or religious domination open-minded? Or, does it only display the continuing prejudices of the person doing the criticizing? I know that in the past, when I engaged in religion-bashing, it only showed that I was again exhibiting the "contempt prior to investigation" that Herbert Spencer rightly noted is a complete "bar against all information," and one that kept me in "everlasting ignorance" until I was shown a  broader and much more informative attitude by some kind and much wiser old-timers than I was.

Establishing "Conscious Contact" with God

"In meditation," we read in the 'Big Book' of Alcoholics Anonymous (at page 69)," we ask God what we should do about each specific matter. The answer will come, if we want it."

This instruction dealing with our sex relations, and simple on its face, is found in the instructions for how to do Step Four, yet its forward looking implications are for Step Nine and (perhaps more importantly) for Step 12, where we endeavour to "practice these principles in all our affairs." Its inclusion in Step Four is an indication that as part of Step Two and Step Three we have already begun to seek out, through the practice of prayer and meditation, a conscious contact with God.

Indeed, the "word-of-mouth program" from the Oxford Group that Ebby T. passed on to Bill W. stressed the need for daily periods of meditation. In the "Three Talks to Medical Societies" pamphlet, we read that the sixth 'step' that Ebby relayed to Bill was: "By meditation, (we) sought God's direction for (our) life and help to practice these principles of conduct at all times." Similarly, Step Eleven in A.A.'s suggested program of action says that we seek "through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact" with the God of our understanding.  If we are to "improve our conscious contact with God," we must have already established such conscious contact at some earlier point in the Steps.

All of this implies, of course, that meditation is one of the fundamental practices that facilitates the spiritual awakening that is necessary for recovery from alcoholic addiction, and that we are faced with the necessity of practicing meditation even before we hit Step Four. It implies, it would seem, that beginning the practice of meditation is an integral part of "turning our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him" in Step Three, for without it we are flying blind.

Steps Four through Step Nine will, of course, relieve the sufferer of many of the punishing thoughts and emotions based on past events that fuel his or her sense of discomfort, irritability, restlessness and discontent, but it is in the state of higher God-consciousness attained in meditation that we find real release. Thus, we are urged to make time for a period of quiet each morning before we start the affairs of the day, seeking guidance for what we should do; and we are urged to take a similar period of quiet each evening, before we retire to bed.

By establishing such a routine we find a place of quiet consciousness to which we can retreat when the going gets tough during our day, and in which we can recollect ourselves and what we are aiming at - i.e., to be of maximum service to God and our fellow beings. It is, as a plaque on Dr. Bob's desk says, "to have a blessed home in (ourselves) where (we) can go in and shut the door and pray to (our God) in secret and be at peace, as in a deep sea of calmness, when all around and about is seeming trouble."

Spiritual Awakening: "A Fourth Dimension of Existence"

Bill Wilson (1895-1971)

Bill Wilson describes the shift in consciousness which occurred during his sudden spiritual awakening at Townes Hospital (and, indeed, the spiritual awakening of other early A.A.'s) in many different ways. Amongst my favourites, he describes it (at page 8 of the 'Big Book' of Alcoholics Anonymous) as "a fourth dimension of existence." A fourth dimension of existence, in my experience, which has as its essence a timeless, divisionless state of consciousness which unites the individual with all that is - with God, as I understand that concept.

In the "Spiritual Experience" appendix, added to the second edition of the 'Big Book' of Alcoholics Anonymous, we read:

"With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves."

"Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience. Our more religious members call it 'God-consciousness.'"

William James (1842-1910)

Such expanded - and expansive - consciousness is, for most, a temporary state, fleeting or fading in time. Mystics of all ages and traditions have attested to its reality, however, as outlined in William James' book that proved so valuable to Bill, "The Varieties of Religious Experience." Yet it is available to all of us, alcoholic addict and non-alcoholic alike.

Because of the symptoms of our alcoholic addiction, however - i.e., progressive and fatal intoxication - being able to access this vital "inner resource" is essential if we are not to die of our illness. It is the driving mechanism, recognized or not, which is at the bottom of the "entire psychic change" necessary to relieve our alcoholism.

But yet it is no secret. In the following video clip from the enlightened spiritual teacher and best-selling author, Eckhart Tolle - a non-alcoholic who underwent one of the most radical and lasting experiences of spiritual awakening - he explains that there is nothing more we need to know to have such an experience; although, for us, there is almost invariably a lot of work to be done in order to clear the wreckage in preparation for such an experience.

"There's not much else that you need to know (about spiritual awakening) in the sense of accumulated knowledge," Tolle observes, "it is now a question of living that. And if you don't want to live it, that's fine. It means you have to suffer a bit more until you are ready to make this shift, until the shift begins to happen."

"A human being needs to reach the point of readiness," he notes. A point where they say, "Okay, I've done enough madness, I've suffered enough. I'm ready for the shift. I'm ready to say . . .  this moment is all there ever is."



That we always live in the present moment with access to a Power greater than the egoic self is an ageless truth equally recognized in our slogans, "One Day At A Time" and "Let Go and Let God," as it is in the timeless meditations of the great Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius, in which he observed, "All we ever have to live or lose is this ever-passing present moment."

Radical Non-Duality

At the core of their teachings, all of the world's great religions and wisdom traditions have a message of radical non-duality. . . . As do the Twelve Steps.

The Universe (uni-verse) is 'One,' as are all its constituents 'parts,' including us. At a deep level, that is what the third legacy of "recovery, service and unity" is all about. It is only our individualized "egos," or "selves," that create a seeming sense of 'separateness' with all its constituent suffering. How many alcoholic addicts drink and/or drug, at least at first, for that ephemeral feeling of inclusiveness, 'includedness' and belonging that is the essence of intoxication? Virtually every one of us, I would guess.

It is thus no coincidence that these same feelings of expansiveness, inclusiveness and 'includedness' are the essence of the "spiritual awakening" that is necessary to permanently arrest one's alcoholic addiction. As Carl Jung remarked in his correspondence to Bill Wilson, the alcoholic's thirst for alcohol is, "the equivalent, on a low level, of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness, expressed in medieval language: the union with God."

For many alcoholic addicts, or so it seems, it is the progressive nature of the disease that robs them of their ability to once again find this experience of "wholeness" when drinking or drugging, and that drives them - through suffering - to seek help.

The alcohol or drugs no longer gives the seemingly irretrievable alcoholic addict what they need the most, the evermore elusive feelings of wholeness, 'includedness' and well-being.

This "thirst for wholeness" is why (as it says on page 53 of Alcoholics Anonymous):

"When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we (have) to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What (is) our choice to be? [Emphasis added.]

In itself, this is a teaching of radical, ego-less, non-duality. ("God is either everything, or He is nothing.") Yet, we see this same teaching of ultimate non-duality further on, both on page 55 of Alcoholics Anonymous (where we read 'where' to find "a God of our own understanding"), as well as in the "How it Works" passage that so many AA groups read at the beginning of their meetings.

On page 55, we read the following:

"We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that He may be found." [Emphasis added.]

Note that this passage is written with a singular pronoun "the Great Reality," rather than with the plural "a Great Reality."

Further, in the "How it Works" passage we read that, "there is One who has all power - that One is God. May you find him now!" [Emphasis added.]

Sages, seers and spiritual teachers of all ages and continents teach the essential lesson of 'non-duality;' that is, that every seemingly separate thing or individual is but one inseparable part of an all-inclusive and indivisible 'Unity' or 'Wholeness;' and that it is the delusion of seeming separateness of the human "ego" that causes suffering in the mind of humankind, as in the world.

(Even the great theoretical physicist, Einstein, an agnostic at best, called this ego-driven sense of duality, and individuality, a "cosmic delusion of separateness" - i.e., something that we believe is true, but which is, in fact, false.)

This 'Wholeness' has been called by many "the Ground of Being" and it lies at the center of a "perennial philosophy" found at the heart of all wisdom teachings, as well as (I would argue) the wisdom tradition that is witnessed in Alcoholics Anonymous.

Perhaps Aldous Huxley, a non-alcoholic friend of Bill W., best describes this lesson of "Wholeness" and a unitive "Ground of Being" when he writes:

"At the core of the Perennial Philosophy we find four fundamental doctrines.

First: the phenomenal world of matter and individualized consciousness - the world of things and animals and men and even gods - is the manifestation of a Divine Ground within which all partial realities have their beginning, and apart from which they would be non-existent.

Second: human beings are capable not merely of knowing about the Divine Ground by inference; they can also realize its existence by a direct intuition, superior to discursive reasoning. This immediate knowledge unites the knower with that which is known.

Third: man possesses a double nature, a phenomenal ego and an eternal Self, which is the inner man, the spirit, the spark of divinity within the soul. It is possible for a man, if he so desires, to identify himself with the spirit and therefore with the Divine Ground, which is of the same or like nature with the spirit.

Fourth: man's life on earth has only one end and purpose: to identify himself with his eternal Self and so come to unitive knowledge of the Divine Ground."

It is these four ideas - known by most cultures, but forgotten by most - that are at the heart of the Western spiritual renewal that the astute observer can see rising all around us; and they are also, in spirit, the heart of the miracle of non-duality that may be found in AA and its sister 12 Step fellowships.

On Acceptance . . . and "God-consciousness"

“… (A)cceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in [this] world by mistake… . (U)ntil I accept life completely on life’s term, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.”

("Alcoholics Anonymous," page 417.)

Likely the most often quoted passage from the "Stories" section of "Alcoholics Anonymous," this paragraph cuts to the chase. In one paragraph it diagnoses the fundamental problem of the alcoholic addict and suggests the solution: acceptance that life is as it is in this moment, and what is needed is a change in one's attitude from resistance to an acceptance of life on life's terms.

The underlying cause of almost any addiction (including, foremost, an addiction to one's thinking patterns) is that the addict is essentially attached to and identified with an overly active and compelling inner narrative of self-consciousness - the  ordinary, human "ego," or what William James called "the stream of consciousness." Indulgence in the behaviour that provides temporary relief from this incessant mental chatter and the painful emotions that accompany it - drinking, drugging, gambling, an eating disorder, emotional outbursts, etc. - is the symptom of this addiction to the addict's self-conscious life. What is needed, therefore, is a change in one's inner life, a change in one's "attitude" (one's habitual way of thinking) or, in short, a change in the level of one's 'inner consciousness.'

One of the books in Bill W.'s library at "Stepping Stones' - his home just outside New York City where he lived when writing the "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions" - is Richard M. Bucke's classic psychological profile of "enlightened" persons throughout history and across cultures, "Cosmic Consciousness." (Bucke, was an intimate friend and 'follower' of the poet, Walt Whitman, and the Superintendent of an "insane asylum" in Hamilton, Ontario at the time he wrote "Cosmic Consciousness.") The book was first  published in 1901 and was used as a source book for William James' critically important book,"The Varieties of Religious Experience."

Richard M. Bucke

In it, Bucke distinguishes between three different levels of "ordinary" consciousness: receptive, perceptive and conceptive consciousness. As far as we know with certainty, we are the only species with "consceptive consciousness," while we share with lower order species the more basic states of consciousness which Bucke terms 'perceptive' and 'receptive' in order of descending evolutionary development.

In "What God Wants," author Neale Donald Walsh, classified these same levels of consciousness in the way more popularly discussed today as 'human' consciousness, 'mammalian' consciousness and 'reptilian' consciousness. Walsh used an apt illustration of a cobra, a lion and a jealous husband to illustrate how these varying states of consciousness trigger a response once there is something in the environment that seems to be a call to action.

To paraphrase Walsh, he notes that if you get to close to a cobra - invading its territory, so to speak - it will instinctively coil and then strike out with a venomous bite. However, a crucial distinction is that there must be a direct stimulus or 'threat' in its immediate environment to trigger this response. (Bucke would term this "receptive" consciousness, as the organism is receiving a direct stimulus and reacts to it.)

At the next higher level - 'mammalian,' or what Bucke would call "perceptive" consciousness - a male lion patrolling its territory smells the urine markings of a competitive male, and this indirect perception of a 'threat' triggers a response; the lion 're-marks' its territory and aggressively tries to hunt down the other male it perceives as threatening its interests.

Shakespeare: "There is nothing either
good or bad, but thinking makes it so."

"Hamlet," Act II, Scene II.

At the 'human' or 'ordinary' level of self-consciousness (or what Bucke calls "conceptive" consciousness) a man going to a dinner party knows that a man who could be a potential rival might be there. He thinks to himself that the man might hit on his wife, or the wife might flirt with the potential rival, and that mere thought or 'concept' triggers an emotional response of jealousy. There is no direct stimulus, just the act of conceiving the ideas in his mind produces the effect. As far as we know it is only mankind (and 'perhaps' some higher order mammals, like chimpanzees, dolphins or whales) that are capable of manifesting this higher order of self-consciousness.

We may, in fact, be unique in that, as others have observed, somehow 'we know that we know.' And isn't the sure conviction of knowing that we 'know' our 'problems' what causes the irritability, restlessness and discontent in the alcoholic addict? And, isn't the knowing that we 'know' a solution for this discomfort what keeps an addict in his or her active addiction?

Fortunately, as others have again noted (both alcoholic addicts and other so-called 'normal people,' alike), we are capable - once we know that we know - of a still higher state of consciousness that we all have the potential of reaching. It is as Bucke, the philosopher Gerald Heard (a friend of Bill W.'s) or Andrew Cohen, a teacher of what he terms "Evolutionary Enlightenment,"  would call an evolutionary potential. It is a higher state of consciousness that I would term an "acceptive consciousness" although Bucke and others have various names for it, "cosmic consciousness" being one preferred description.

Yet, because it is for now a "potential" state of consciousness, the person who wishes to reach that state must work towards becoming capable of manifesting it. He or she must 'consciously' and 'actively' nurture it, as very few attain to this state through force of circumstance; although, historically some lucky few have attained it spontaneously, and mostly in very trying circumstances.

The "Spiritual Experience" appendix to the 'Big Book' of Alcoholics Anonymous tells us that a vital spiritual experience, whether of the "sudden" or "educational variety" is what we need to arrest and recover from both our addiction to booze and/or drugs - as if booze weren't a drug - and the addiction we have to the ordinary self-consciousness that drives us blindly. Fortunately though, it assures us that we all have the potential for this higher consciousness, and - assuming we put in the continual daily effort to practice this program of self-examination, meditation and prayer - a very good chance of attaining this higher state of being.

The "Spiritual Experience" appendix, first published in the second edition of "Alcoholics Anonymous" when there were approximately 150,000 A.A. members, notes:

"With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception ot a Power greater than themselves.

Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience. Our more religious members call it "God-consciousness."

"Acceptive" or "God-consciousness" 
is a 'love' without object or conditions.

Ultimately, it is resorting to this higher state of radical acceptance (a sense of 'love' without objects or conditions), this state of "God-consciousness" (or as I prefer "acceptive consciousness"), that allows us to accept life on life terms, that allows us to accept the "person, place, thing, or situation" that is disturbing us "as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment," without the necessity of drinking or drugging to get by.