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Showing posts with label prejudice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label prejudice. Show all posts

Thursday, April 12, 2012

H.O.W. It Works

"We find that no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program. Willingness, honesty and open-mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable."
Alcoholics Anonymous (4th ed.), page 568
Referencing the above passage taken from the "Spiritual Experience" appendix to the 'Big Book' of Alcoholics Anonymous, the acronym "H.O.W." (as in "H.O.W. It Works") is often cited as representing the three qualities of mind that are necessary prerequisites for effectively working the AA program and, thus, attaining the spiritual awakening that allows the alcoholic addict to recover from "a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body."

Spirituality, with its ever-deepening understandings,  is by its nature a nuanced phenomenon. There are then, of necessity, both plain and more subtle aspects to all of its dimensions. There are both  conventional and extraordinary, mundane and subtle, layers to all spiritual teachings. To this end, it seems to me that there are both surface and deeper meaning to the requisite qualities of honesty, open-mindedness and willingness. And, of course, even beyond these meanings there are undoubtedly evermore deeper meanings to all three qualities, for in working the Twelve Steps, as in all spiritual practices, "more will be revealed."
Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."
- Matthew 7:13-14
Honesty: At the conventional level, becoming honest means that we do no further harm to others by lying, covering up, taking what does not belong to us and being untruthful etc.. Often referred to as "cash register honesty," this level of truthfulness is necessary in order that we can make an admission of powerlessness over alcohol (and/or drugs) and move forward in working the Twelve Steps. It is particularly important as we undertake our moral inventory which is both a 'fact-finding' and 'fact-facing' exercise that is wholly dependent on the alcoholic addict's being honest about the facts of his or her life.

At a deeper level, however, the requisite honesty requires our facing the illusions and delusions that are at the core of our self-centeredness, or ego-centricity. (The ego, in the sense that it is used here and throughout A.A. literature does not mean 'pride, per se, but rather the false sense of 'self'' that is a construction of our ordinary, worldly consciousness.)

Derived from the Latin honestas, which originally designated a plant with semi-transparent seed pods, honesty means to be "free of deceit and untruthfulness" - in this instance, self-deceit. At page 55 in the 'Big Book,' we are assured that "the fundamental idea of God" is deep down within everyone - man, woman and child - but that it is "obscured" by the "calamity, pomp and worship of other things" that are characteristic of most people's ordinary thoughts - i.e., the thought patterns that are characteristic of the human ego, the thought patterns Bill W. called a "painful inner dialogue.". Thus, in this instance, to be honest is to be free from the self-deceit and inherent untruthfulness of our egoic and addictive thought patterns, the fearful thoughts and emotions which block us off from our true inner nature.

In becoming honest and recognizing the "ideas, emotions and attitudes" that habitually veil the divine or spiritual nature of our being, the curtains of "calamity, pomp and worship of other things" are at least temporarily or partially lifted and we can then see and sense the truth of what and who we are. In this sense, we can then truly become "a channel of His peace."

Indeed, in describing the nature of the "spiritual awakenings" that were known to relieve alcoholic addiction, Carl Jung (at page 27 of the 'Big Book') observed that:
"Ideas, emotions and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them."
 In this sense, one becomes honest with one's "self."

Open-Mindedness: There are, I have come to realize, at least two facets of being truly open-minded. In the simplest terms, to be open-minded is to be free from the prejudice and contempt we may feel for spiritual and/or religious matters. Most often arising from our skepticism towards religious doctrines or the resentments we hold towards religious institutions, such prejudices (i.e., pre-judgments) must be set aside. Indeed at page 87 in the 'Big Book' we are enjoined to "(be) quick to see where religious people are right."

(In this regard, I note that the very word 'religion' comes from the Latin phrase 're ligare,' which means "to rejoin" or "reunite." In this sense a "religious experience" - as discussed in the second paragraph of the Spiritual Experience appendix - is what reunites the suffering alcoholic addict with the totality of the world and all things, that is God.)

At a deeper level, to be open-minded is to have a clear mind that is free of compulsive thinking and old ideas. In the 'How It Works' reading (from page 55 in the 'Big Book') we are told that many of the early members of A.A. had "tried to hold onto (their) old ideas," but that "the result was nil until they let go absolutely." My experience is that "old ideas" are not only those that I held for years in respect of spiritual, religious and other matters, but they also consist of new ideas that I cannot easily get rid of - thoughts about people, circumstances, ideas and institutions - that occupy my mind unduly.

Like chewing gum, it does not take long for such 'new ideas' to grow old and lose their appeal once I have chewed and ruminated on them for any length of time. Thoughts that frighten me, anger me or provoke envy in me etc., can quickly overwhelm my consciousness, bolstering my ego and separating me from everyone and everything, thereby obscuring that "Great Reality" that exists deep down within (all of) us." Indeed, it is only through the practice of meditation and prayer that we are effectively enabled to rid ourselves of such thoughts, and so improve "our conscious contact" with the God of our own understanding, however we may understand that Being.

Willingness: The conventional meaning of 'willingness,' I believe, is merely the determination to take the steps that others have taken to attain and maintain their sobriety. To this end, the 'How It Works' reading specifically notes that "(i)f you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps." That includes admitting to one's self that you are alcoholic, to believe (or, at least, be willing to believe) that there is a Power greater than one's self which can restore you to sanity, making the decision to turn one's will and one's life over to the Power of the God of your understanding, and then proceeding with the moral inventory and amends making process laid out in the Twelve Steps. Those who are unwilling, are those who do not want what we have, and thus "are not ready" to work the Twelve Steps . . . at least yet. Their sobriety, if any, is typically tenuous, precarious and desperately uncomfortable. They are in real danger.

At a more fundamental level, an act of one's will is a decision to do something, in this instance to live life one's life on a spiritual basis. (At page 83 of the 'Big Book, we read: "The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it." Why? Because life is inherently spiritual. It was the late great spiritual teacher, Krishnamurti, who observed: "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, but spiritual beings having a human experience.") And living one's life on a spiritual basis requires practice - a practice that starts with Step Three.

"Practicing Step Three," we read in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, "is like the opening of a door which to all appearances is still locked and closed. All we need is a key, and the decision to swing the door open. There is only one key, and it is called willingness." This, as above, signifies our decision to take the Twelve Steps in order to walk through that locked door and live a spiritual life.

"Once we have come into agreement with (the steps to be taken)," we read, "it is really easy to begin the practice of Step Three. In all times of emotional disturbance or indecision," (emphasis added), "we can pause, ask for quiet, and in the stillness simply say: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Thy will, not mine, be done."

The serenity, courage and wisdom we ask for are only truly available to us when we effect (or re-effect) a conscious contact with the God of our understanding; that is, when we are released from our ordinary ego-consciousnesss, and thus attain our higher God-consciousness. (The human ego is, by its nature, troubled, frightened and lost, the very antithesis to the serenity, courage and wisdom of higher consciousness.) Dissecting the power of this Serenity Prayer, we can observe that:
  • 'Serenity' is the nature of our Being when we shed ordinary, self-consciousness/ego-consciousness and effect a conscious contact with our higher nature - i.e., with God.
  • 'Courage' (from the Latin 'cour,' meaning heart) is to change the only thing we can in any instance - that is, to deepen the level of our consciousness. Symbolically it is to shift the center of our consciousness and thinking from the head/ego and its "painful inner dialogue," to the heart/soul (or deeper seat of consciousness) wherein there is a total acceptance of people, circumstances and the world exactly as they are in this instant of time.
  • 'Wisdom' is to know, from experience, that there are two wholly different realities within us. One is the ego - i.e., the 'self' or 'self-consciousness - which lies at the root cause of our alcoholic addiction, the reality which we sought to escape from through the use of alcohol and/or drugs. The other is our authentic Being, wherein we are wholly at one (i.e., in communion) with God.
In his last public talk, Dr. Bob pointed to the "absolute necessity" of the teachings that he and Bill W. derived from the Beatitudes, First Corinthians 13, and the Book of James. A close reading of the latter identifies the problem of not just alcoholic addicts, but of all men and women: 

"A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways." (James 1:8)
  • So long as we respond to life and act on the basis of our egoic, rather than God-conscious, thinking. We are apt to think, say and do almost anything. Our old ego-centric thinking and ideas will always be prone to lead us back into active addiction. Thus, we must be willing to work the Twelve Steps in order to deflate the ego "at depth." Nothing changes - "the result is nil" - unless we let go of our old ideas and our habitual ego-consciousness.
 "Draw near to God, and God will draw near to you. Wash clean your hands ye sinners. Purify your hearts ye double-minded." (James 4:8)
  • "We found that Great Reality deep down within us," we read at Page 55 of the 'Big Book.' Indeed, we are told, "(i)n the last analysis it is only there it may be found." When we shift from the self-consciousness and egoic thinking of our separated "self" to the essence of our Being, we effect a conscious contact with our Higher Power; that is, God "draws near" to us. 
  • In Steps Four through Step Nine, and again in Step Ten, we face and face down our narrow "self" and, where possible, we right the wrongs which occurred (or occur) as a result of what is really a soul sickness. Figuratively, we 'wash our hands' and 'clean house.'
  • Through prayer and, importantly, through meditation we "purify (our) hearts," letting go of our fear-based egoic consciousness in order to effect God-consciousness. In doing so, we increasingly live a single-minded spiritual life, rather than the unpredictable and injurious life of "the double-minded."
How does it work? It works through "ego-deflation at depth." It works by awakening to the spiritual nature of our Being and the world we live in. It works by turning our will and our lives over ot the care of God as we understand Him. It works by fearlessly facing the proposition that "God is either everything, or He is nothing." God either is, or is not,

What is our choice to be?

It works by trusting God, cleaning house, and helping others . . . . Namaste!

Friday, July 8, 2011

Prejudice, Peril and a Higher Power

"Besides a seeming inability to accept much on faith, we often found ourselves handicapped by obstinacy, sensitiveness, and unreasoning prejudice. Many of us have been so touchy that even casual reference to spiritual things made us bristle with antagonism. This sort of thinking had to be abandoned. . . . In this respect alcohol was a great persuader. It finally beat us into a state of reasonableness. Sometimes this was a tedious process; we hope no one else will be prejudiced for as long as some of us were."

-- Alcoholics Anonymous, pages 47-48 --
As an individual who has made a long journey in recovery from atheist to agnostic, to gnostic, I can attest that the way to a working faith in a Power greater than one's 'self' can be not just a "tedious process" but also a very perilous path. And, of course, as is pointed out, "prejudice" to all things spiritual was the great stumbling block.

Obstinately clinging to the belief that science was the be all and end all of human knowledge and accomplishment, to my great peril I had no room to contemplate those great areas on which science, by its nature, is necessarily silent - spirituality, metaphysics and consciousness. As a result, I continued to suffer from the obsessive nature of "the ego" - the sense of the seemingly separated "self" that lies at the root of the alcoholic addict's dilemma.

In his enlightening correspondence with Bill W., the great Swiss psychologist, Carl Jung (the man who gave the initial impetus to the chain of events that would result in the emergence of A.A.) observed that it had been long known that a vital inner religious or spiritual experience could effectively relieve the symptoms of alcoholism. Yet, he noted that such an experience must be grounded "in reality." (Who, after all, did not think he or she had found something of the divine in the ecstasies of alcohol or drugs while their effects still worked for them?)

Jung also observed that for such an experience to take hold, one must be "on a path," but not just any path. Rather, he wrote that one must be on a path "in reality" that leads the sufferer "to higher understanding." Further, he implies that such "higher understanding" must be one that is "beyond the confines of mere rationalism."

How, then, even when working the 12 Steps, was a committed scientific rationalist to make the leap of faith that would effect the requisite spiritual awakening? The truth is, that it did not for many years, even though I was able to maintain my physical (although not my emotional) sobriety.

In hindsight, I had been the recipient of an act of grace that led me to stop the drinking and drugging that was my daily way of life for eighteen years, although I knew nothing at the time about grace. Unaware of the true nature of my experience, and obstinately unwilling to attribute it to anything spiritual, I was unable to admit the insanity I continued living in. Granted, I was able to cede that my drinking and drugging was a form of insanity, but I was unwilling to look at the insanity of my alcoholic and addictive mind until its obsessive nature indeed pushed me to the point of madness and beyond . . . all while I maintained my sobriety and gained (and then lost) all the worldly goods and success I could only have imagined years earlier.

The problem of the alcoholic addict does, indeed, center in the mind, as the 'Big Book' of Alcoholics Anonymous points out. Despite the best intervention of learned physicians and therapists, I did not reach the point of sanity until in desperation, many years into sobriety, I returned to work the 12 Steps anew. Miraculously, I once again experienced the "fierce act of grace" and sudden "clarity of mind" that characterized the night I initially quit drinking. It was many months thereafter, diligently working with old-timers who were far more advanced than me in their understanding of spiritual realities, that I came to know what had really happened and the nature of my ultimate adversary, the human ego.

Surprisingly, once I came to know this, I found a plethora of resources to help me on my spiritual quest both within A.A. (and its sister organizations) and outside the protective walls of its community. Indeed, it turns out, "we have no monopoly," and there are a multitude of so-called "normal" people out there who are striving to overcome the same self-centered egocentricity that characterizes the alcoholic addict.

"I am not here to bend the world to my own narrow will," a wizened man once told me. Rather, he said, "I have a deep and abiding faith in the infallible rightness of the course of events."

I am indebted to that man, an experienced medical doctor and psychoanalyst, for putting so clearly the fundamental lesson of A.A., and I can now assuredly agree with the author(s) of the 'Big Book' when they outlined the "three pertinent ideas" that apply, I now know, to all of us: "(a) that "we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives"; (b) that "probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism;" and, (c) that "God could and would if He were sought."

I, too, now hope "that no one will be prejudiced"  for as long as I once was. I am amongst a fortunate few. I know that many - perhaps most - do not survive their prejudices for as long as I did on my own self-will and bitter resources before emerging into "the sunlight of the Spirit".